General Chat

I finaly got around to watching this. Although for some reason my recording ended after oly about 50 minutes. Didnt find it as emotional as I had thought.But I thought they were dealing with things in a vvery practicle and common sense way. Still does not make it any easier to talk about death though

Yes i was upset too, It was an excellent programme , vey well done, I thought Esther was just the right sort of presenter for a programme like this, I think,if anything,,,it has made us all think,,i mean really think...about the inevitable,

I am quite interested in this and hope sometime we get it shown in Australia. People don't think about 'the end' enough in my view. When my Mum died (quite quickly - only hospitalised for 6 weeks and really ill for the last four days) my Dad had a firm idea of what he wanted to do to 'honour' her and we did it his way. Now my brother and I have joined forces in making sure we listen carefully when Dad talks about what would be nice for his own funeral, with written notes about his fave hymns, quotations, people to carry the coffin ( he know's the plot he'll end up in). We don't know what challenges will present themselves between now (88 yr old with minor ailments) and the end, but in a way, I suppose I have begun mourning him already just by being prepared. And for me, that is a good thing and not at all morbid. Our nursing homes and palliative care are probably no different than UK's, sometimes you strike it lucky and other times not, but avoiding the issue just sets things up for regret. Take Care everyone Heather in Australia

Margeret It had quite an affect on me as well, couldnt sleep for tears. My husband was still upset this morning.

Was anyone else left feeling as I did ?

I nearly started a thread last night asking if anyone had seen this programme, but it had such a profound effect on me and I was so upset, I didn't do it. The programme was very well done and did in fact highlight the inadequacies in handling the dying and what needs to be done. My views are known to my family so that is not a problem. However, after watching the programme I felt really upset, depressed and sorry to say, more fearful than ever. I do not fear death as such but as someone else said, the pain involved and this programme highlighted in my mind just how awful this could be. Heavens, I've just re-read this and I hope I am not depressing or upsetting anyone, but this really is how it left me feeling.

I have recorded it but shall have to pick my moment to watch it. I thought it might be to emotional and according to what has been said on here I better have some tissues on hand.

Im glad i watched it, though i was in floods....there for the Grace of God etc and ive been moaning about my hurting veins from the drip all day.....felt guilty. But, what a brilliant programme! I have already made my Living Will, but the programme made OH realise, he must now do one. Donna

Unfortunately I forgot to turn the video recorder on and was watching the Stairlift to Heaven programme which was quite sad. I caught the end of Esther's prog. and thought it looked interesting. I will have to hope it is repeated at some time.

When my grandfather died three years ago I made a point of telling my son and my mum and sister's what I want (I don't want to be cremated). I am only in my mid thirties but you never know when your time is going to come. If you have strong feelings about what you want then it is important to make them known. You only need the briefest of conversations or let someone know that you've written it down somewhere. I have had five deaths of friends and family in the past couple of months, four of whom were under 55, and it has made my mum and sister talk about what they want/don't want. The programme itself was very interesting and I was in tears at the end. Louise

Have recorded it. With only a short time to go, I have a vested interest. Personally, I hope to die in my own home, quietly in my sleep. len

I think it is our culture - we shy away from death - the Irish for instance welcome a good hooley and if it is a wake - so what - everyone has a good time except the deceased! Ann

Having sat with a loved one at the end I no longer have any fear of death itself, it's the pain that may be involved that frightens me more. It is a shame it should be talked about more, even starting in secondary schools. I wouldn't put anyone through what I went through. I would want them to know what I wanted, for their sake, not myself. 10 minutes of morbid talking could save a lifetime of someone else worrying whether they did the right thing. Joan

Joan - the trouble is that there are people who do not wish to talk about death - nearly eleven years ago a friend of mine was given 3 months to live (this came out of the blue) - her husband knew, she knew, their daus knew but she wouldn't talk. They reckoned that if anyone could get her to talk - it was me - (we had been friends since we were young mums together). We went for a weekend - the husbands went out - I asked her straight away 'do you want to talk'. 'No' was the reply - instead we had a wonderful evening going down memory lane and laughing a lot but she never ev er mentioned her forthcoming death to anyone.

I agree Joan. Should be talked about more. It's always avoided.Something I had not deeply thought about before. I think I would like to prepare my family, no matter how difficult it can be.

Catherine, Half the problem is we don't talk about it, and when the time comes how can we ask our loved ones what it is they want ?? Surely it is better if we tell our relatives whilst we are in good health (of mind & body) of our wishes rather than leaving them with the distressing task later on ? Joan

Didn;'t offend me - it is just that lately there are nothing but programmes on re retirement homes/care homes etc and there are more bad than good and then today I hear the MPs have given themselves a pay rise! Again. Parking fees in hospitals are getting beyond a joke. I could go on and on.

I'm sorry Ann. I did't mean to offend anyone. That wasn't my intention, just wondered if anyone watched it that's all. x

When you are getting to close to a subject for comfort - really entertaining for us oldies tonight - how to have a good death and as parents not to live too long!!!!

I agree Joan, Patricia Hewitt was not convincing. She was cold.