General Chat

Good luck to you. It won't be easy, we know through experience. My mum tried to have her adoptive mother live with her for a while (she was about 87) at the time, she had alzeimers and also breast cancer, she was a wonderful stubborn Irish lady who wanted her indepedance though and resented staying with my mum. I think it was the alzeimers that made it difficult. Mum wished that she could have had Nana live with her for longer but it did not work out in the end, Nana even walked out and had to get brought back by the police, she was so confused. In the end my Mum had to find a lovely private care home and eventually a nursing home for her. Mum was racked with guilt that she'd had to do it but in the end, we all know that Mum tried her best to give Nana comfortable surroundings in the family home but that she was better off in the care home, where Nana seemed to settle better. So do try to cope but don't be too hard on yourself if you feel it is not working. I don't know what your mother's circumstances are or what she feels about the move. Your Mum will know deep down in her heart that what ever decision you've made that you've done it with her best interests in mind and that you love her dearly, it clearly shows with your posting. Make sure you get all the support you need from the health authority and local council. There is a charity in our area called 'Crossroads' that provides respite care for carers for an hour or so a week so that the carer can take a break and pop out to the shops or have some time to themselves. You may find other options like this in your area. Speak to your nurse for your doctor's surgery and see what help she can get you. All the best Claire ....Just seen your second post and that you are a professional carer so you'll know all the right people to talk to! Good luck!

They surely don't have the right to upset her like that especially when they haven't discussed it with her family.These doctors are a law unto themselves.Good for you stick to your guns your Mum is lucky to have a caring loving family.But it won't take away the upset that doctor has caused her tonight.Roll on tomorrow when you can speak to her and ease her mind again. Denise. (sending love to your mum)

hello joanne thankyou so much. i am a proffessional carer and work for social services,so it will come naturally lol. i visit people who are worse than my mum so no way is she going into a nursing home. i do hope your dad is ok. love susie

Very best wishes to you all. What a dilemna. Well done. hope things work out for the best. Happy days

Thinking of you,Terry and family. xx

Aww Susie, big hugs sweetheart. Your mum is a real fighter and you are a very close and loving family, so she will make GREAT progress at home with you all. Do they know that you are a carer and you do know what you're talking about?! Love and hugs mandy xxx

Oh Susie I do feel for you I would do the same as you as I saw my parents do it for theirs and I'm a big believer that family comes first You will need lots of support, but you can do it! I care for my Dad - he has recovered well from his stroke as I told you before ( Lost Mum in June who used to care for him) he also had a bag fitted due to bowel cancer last September that I have to change for him as he can't cope due to his right side weekness. I just cope and I work full time, 2 kids and a hubby and no siblings or no other family to help but it is the love that drives you and motivates you and that love will also help your Mum to get stronger and fitter. Much love to you Joanne

ive just had a phone call from my mum. she was so upset.the dr has told her that they think she would be better off in a nursing home so she can have 24hr care!! i told her to get that idea out of her head.no way will we,as a family,allow it. mum is going to come home to us!! she is incontinent at night and wets the bed 3/4 times but throughout the day she is fine.they are worried that we wont cope. we have decided that we will pay for a night sitter if needs be,because come hell or high water mum is coming home where she belongs! i have just foned my brother and he has said the same as hubby and me.i broke down in tears when i put the fone down. i am going to demand mum has a catheter fitted!!.surely thats a small price to pay? susie xxxx