General Chat

How old is he Susan, if you don't mind me asking? It is always worse for the carers, then the people themselves. Whatever you do, try to support your Mum as much as you can, and get support yourself from local carers groups etc. Do you have a local carers sitter's service where someone could come out for a couple of hours to look after him, to give Mum a break ? Or are there any day centres nearby (contact social services) where he could go for a day once a week, etc ? Then you could take Mum out somewhere for a break & have some time together. Joan xxx

Hello Susan, I'm so sorry for you for what you're going through, and I wish you the best. Try to be strong for mum. Baz

Thank you for your kind offer, Joan. I may need your advice. The hospital doctor has already told us about medication that can slow the progress, but he also told us that he may be too far down the track for that. Then it is a matter of support and help for Mum. Luckily we all live close by, so can help where needed. Susan

So sorry to hear about your Dad, Susan. It's a bit like my Dad. It all started when he had a mini stroke when he was 70 (12 years ago) which was followed by a more major stroke, then a few more mini strokes. He gets seen by some sort of team who are keeping an eye on his memory capacity and dementia has been mentioned. Then he underwent major surgery last September for anal cancer and in spite of contracting MRSA, he's made a remarkable recovery. Unfortunately it has taken a toll on Mam (80) who is starting to crack up now, so he has had to go into a Care Home. She is feeling very guilty about everything 'cos they are still very close (and I don't live in the UK). What a worry it all is. I understand what you are going through. Big hugs to you all.

Thank you both. Diane, my Mum has been wonderful and with our help has taken care of Dad so well, but she just can't cope anymore. We help all we can but she has to live with him. He wanders around the house at night and when she needs to get out we have to babysit him because if he doesn't see her he will go looking for her. We have reached crisis point, but at least we are getting support off Aged Care. I just can't stand to see my clever, sharp witted, funny Dad crying because he can't come home from hospital and staring at us with a blank look obviously wondering who we are. When he is feeling good he asks us if he is ok and will he get better. Maybe it will be better for him when he isn't aware that something is wrong. Susan

Oh dear Susan I know what you are going through. If you want to, pm me by all means. I might be able to give you some advice. I know what it is like when a loved one gets this awful illness. If he has early onset dementia you could try to get some of the new drugs that may help him in the early stages, but you will probably have to fight for them. Take care, Joan xx

So sorry to hear that Susan. My dad is very ill with various things and that is my mums worst nightmare. She has pretty much taken it upon herself to look after him whatever but she says that would be the thing to finish her. Sending you lots of hugs (and your mum) ((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) Dianex

big hugs for you all! xx

After going through various treatments for cancer and having a couple of strokes last year my poor Dad is now being assessed for dementia. So far they have ruled out any physical causes so the word Alzheimers is coming up often. We reached crisis point last Wednesday when he asked Mum who she was. It broke her heart and sent shivers down my spine when she told me. He has been going steadily downhill for awhile but he seems to have taken a sharp dive. It just isn't going to get better is it? Susan