General Chat

WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMAN. You can enjoy beer all month long. Beer stains wash out. You don't have to wine and dine a beer. Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play football. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out. Beer is never late. Hangovers go away. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. Beer labels come off without a fight. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. Beer never has a headache. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer on your breath. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get a good head. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty. A beer always goes down well. You can share a beer with your friends. Beer is always wet. Beer doesn't demand equality. You can have a beer in public. A beer doesn't care when you come. A frigid beer is a good beer ********************************** i left some out as they were not appropraite,on this site.

PMSL :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Nice one. Roy

men fighting back, watch the women pile in now.

No comment YET

Reasons why women prefer cucumbers to Men 1. The average cucumber is at least 6 inches long. 2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week. 3. Cucumbers won't tell you size doesn't count. 4. Cucumbers don't get too excited. 5. Cucumbers never suffer from performance anxiety. 6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up. 7. You can fondle a cucumber in a supermarket.... and you know how firm it is before you take it home. 8. Cucumbers can get away any weekend. 9. With a cucumber you can get a single room.... and you won't have to check-in as Mrs. Cucumber. 10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning. 11. You can go to a movie with a cucumber.... and see the movie. 12. You can go to a drive-in with a cucumber.... and you can stay in the front seat. 13. With a cucumber you can always wait until you get home. 14. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn.... or send you out for Milk Duds. 15. A cucumber won't drag you to a John Wayne Film Festival. 16. A cucumber won't ask: 'Am I the first?'. 17. A cucumber doesn't care if you're a virgin. 18. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin. 19. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin anymore. 20. With a cucumber you don't have to be a virgin more than once. 21. Cucumbers can handle rejection. 22. Cucumbers won't pout if you have a headache. 23. Cucumbers won't care what time of the month it is. 24. Cucumbers never want to get it on when your nails are wet. 25. Cucumbers won't give it up for Lent. 26. With a cucumber you never have to say you're sorry. 27. Afterwards, a cucumber won't: ...want to shake hands and be friends. 28 A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator. 29. No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh cucumber. 30. Cucumbers don't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest, or drool on the pillow. 31. A cucumber won't give you a hickey. 32. Cucumbers can stay up ALL night.... and you won't have to sleep on the wet spot. 33. Cucumbers don't leave dirty shorts on the floor. 34. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet.

REBS pmsl thank you

Why is Beer better than woman? Me screen aint big enough to list.....:>)) Tony Oz V.B..forever....:>)))

spot on Tony,

Oh, we must have our little jokes, mustn't we lads....

I worry 'bout you sometimes Fred.

Fred cucumber beer,,,,,,,,,,well ,,,,,,,no that would get deleted

CUCUMBER BEER ! BEFORE OR AFTER ! pmsl

Differences between Men and Women 1. A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he wants. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item she doesn't want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. 5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die. 6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. 7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Woman somehow deteriorate during the night. 8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. 9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

Well really Frederick.. I knew one of you would have to poke that one in eventually.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good-looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor. Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A: To stop the snoring before it starts. Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Q: What is the difference between men and women? A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manuals'.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?' - Sigmund Freud

They dont even know themselves Fred.

Q:What is a Husband? A: A husband is what's left of a man after the nerve has been removed. Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned. Tony Oz......(burp )

But Tony im the one that always says sorry,because OH memorie span is about half an hour on a good day,,very good day

Tony, thats brill, pmsl :-))) Roy