General Chat

David I agree with you, one parent should not be judged more harshly than the other but, unfortunately, it happens.

I'd agree with you David - parental responsibility should be shared and if things go wrong - it should still be shared where it can be. Sometimes the problem between the parents will prevent this or it may be a parenting problem that has caused the rift. Why ever something happens, there will always be old bags (or their male equivalents - old farts?) who will bad mouth other folk without knowing the full story. Even if they know the full story, if they are inclined to bad mouth they will do regardless of circumstances - they just need to get a life of their own. :) And Jean - those people should walk a mile in your daughter's shoes before they say anything at all.........they probably know nothing. Best wishes Helen

I don't know but both parties should be treated equally. Years ago it was illeagle for a mother to abondon her family (husband and children) probally because the father was working allday and couldn't look after the children as well. Also a woman carries the child for 9mths and then gives birth, this usually has a strong bond and a mother can't denigh that the child is hers, but a man can denigh being the child's father (it is a wise man that knows the identity of his father!) Now I think that if you leave your family you should only be judged on if you did the right thing under the circumstances and no-one should be able to make you feel guilty.

That's sad Lynda - poor woman. Perhaps I see it differently to all of you because I'm adopted - I don't see that because a woman carries the child it makes the bond any stronger than that with the father.

Yes David... she is given a hard time. People are very quick to make judgements without knowing all the facts. I know most women will say they could never leave their children under any circumstances but most of them never have to make that decision anyway. So who knows.

I'll admit that i would find it hard to understand a mother who left her children but then I find it hard to understand a man who does too! A child is a gift and should be treated that way!! xx

You're probably right Julie, but it doesn't seem right to me that one parent should be seen as having more parental responsibility than the other cos their sex.

Was she given a hard time about it Jean? I was listening to two old bags calling someone the other day for the same thing and they had no idea about all the ins and outs of it.

I have no idea David. Maybe because it's the woman who has the pregnancy or possibly it's because the woman is traditionally seen as the carer and who even nowadays is usually, though not always, the one who is mainly responsible for childcare. It's a complex situation with no easy answer.

I can't answer that David.... all I can say is my daughter left her son with his father for all the best reasons. She only lives round the corner and sees him everyday but is absolutely racked with guilt now. Jean x.

Why are mothers who leave their children when a relationship ends seen as worse then fathers who do? And why is it other women who seem to judge them the hardest?