General Chat

pleased you are getting help i would tell him to write it down as long as he is going to show you i have been there with my son and really hope you get the help you need lorraine

maybe he wanted you to see it and maybe it was a cry for help because some kids find it hard to say it out loud good luck Debbie

Hi Elaine Thanks for the update Regarding keeping a diary, I wouldnt advise. It Its better he is encouraged to talk about his feelings rather than write them down and hide them. And of course he wont want to show his mum. Regarding the agression at home with his siblings, remember hormones are kicking in, and my once placid son grew more argumentitive by the day (he was 11 in march) So it may be part reaction to the bullying and part hormones. Remember we are here for you if you need us Elaine x

Glad you have had some help in sorting things out and hope Joe is happier now. I wondered about giving him some stickers so that if he does not feel like writing much in the diary (a good idea) he could put in a different sticker for good day, ok day and bad day. Liz

Hi Elaine, have just read your update, and I'm pleased to see that the school have a plan of action to help him. However, can you please reassure us that Joe is NOT being bullied by any particular person/people , ... or if he is, what are the school going to do about it, and are they going to sort the bully/s out properly ? I ask, because this is exactly what happened with my daughter, and THE bullies did not get sorted until it was too late ... Just worried about you and Joe ... hope they don't dismiss is as an 'eduacational' problem rather than a 'personal' one. Elaine x

Oh Elaine... I would not dream of advising you on this. This is heart breaking and your little one needs to FEEL safe. God Bless his wee heart, I hope all goes well . Deanna X ((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Glad that you are getting this sorted Elaine. I think your idea to keep a diary is a good one. Good luck and love to little Joe.

Have spent 1/2 hour with his teacher this afternoon. It seems he's feeling like this for several reasons, that have built up over the whole year! and after talking to the special needs co-ordinator, they have come up with a plan to help him, which includes him being monitered in the playground, talking to him, and to some of the other children. As his comments were extreme, if there is no change in the next 2 weeks he will be referred for councelling (sp) via doctor. The homework diary - he had been telling her he hadn't got it, so when she finally got it she signed it in a rush, several weeks at once, so missed the comments. This will never happen again. I wondered if getting him to write a diary might help. Thank you for all your support last night. E x

Elaine you must be worried stiff poor little boy do you no think the teacher has just marked the book without looking at it either way its wrong I would go to the head teacher and by pass her Good Luck Norah

Elaine, I felt so sad for your boy when I saw this. I think you have been given very good advice on here, and I am glad that your friend p/g is behind you I feel Joe's teacher should have done more than just mark his book and ignore what is written there - maybe she is doing the same to other children too. Certainly this is a situation for the Head to deal with and I wish you success in sorting this out, so your son can be a little boy again, with no worries. Good luck, you can do this, give Joe a hug from me, oh, and one for your older son who seems to be a very sensitive caring brother. Liz

Elaine jsut read this. I have to agree with all that is said. get to school first thing in the morning. Don't get fobbed off it wants sorting now. I had a similar thing with my girl years ago I used to have to go and see the teacher every year all through junior school but it wasn't as bad as your little boy sounds. I hope he is OK. Bless him. Germaine x

Poor you Elaine! I agree with everyone on here. you must go and see the school. It's good you have a friend who is parent gov'nr. I'm sure she'll help you to get things sorted. Poor little soul. Be thinking about you tomorrow and will look in to see how things go. Margaret

Good Luck for tomorrow

How worrying, i think you are doing the right thing addressing it with the Teacher, Good Luck, to you and your Son Lil

Elaine like I said, been through something like this.........if you want to PM please do.............Barbara..xx

Again thank you to everyone. When I read his comments, I really didn't know what to do. Felt so bad that I had missed it let alone the teacher. Hubbys away til next week and had no one to talk to. Should have known you lot would help me. I feel more in control and have written down some points just to give me a boost of confidence when I talk to them tomorrow. thanks again so much! Joe is sleeping now and was fine today (being his birthday helped). having time to reflect, I have noticed a change in his behaviour recently, arguments with elder brother and lashing out verbally and physically (sp) I had put it down to sibling rivaly. But then my eldest who's 12 said 'mum sometimes when we are hurting, we hurt the people we love' Anyway, Im so grateful for you comments, its helped me to take this further tomorrow. Goodnight and I will let you all know the outcome tomorrow, E x

Do not bother with the teacher, tomorrow at the start of school be stood outside the Heads office with all evidence.......if you can leave your son at home with someone, do so, do not be satisfied with words, you want names and a plan of action, if you dont get it contact the education dept and change his school, I would not let that kid have to go through one for minute of misery, also do you know any of the governors, if you do contact them and bring them into it...........as you may gather I went through something similar many years ago............ Barbara..xx

From personal experience I would say this is definate a case of bullying. Can we presume that Joe is your son ? ... or could this be a reference to the name of the bully ... I sincerely hope it's the latter. *update - have just read ALL the replies ) You must inform the school tomorrow morning at 8.30, and just keep ringing until they answer. Maybe you could 'follow' your son to school to watch who he speaks with or communicates with. ? ... without him knowing ? If he ever mentions any name more than once in general chitchat, give the name to the Head at sch, it MAY be a friend who could give information to the Head when asked. Try not to let him know that you are concerned tonight, it will only add to his trouble's, if he thinks you are worrying. El;aine ;-)

Hi Elaine, I had a very similar experience not so long back and it broke my heart that kids could be so awful.........i found this in a book that mine hide from me.... DISLIKE........ 1. GOING INTO SCHOOL,THEY HIDE BEHIDE THE TREES AND JUMP OUT AND HIT ME. 2.PLAYTIMES ..THEY CALL ME NAMES ...LIKE COME ON FATTIE... 3.SOME TEACHERS , THEY DON`T BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL AND MUCH MORE. Came to a head when she came out of school one afternoon and was nearly run over,,,,,,,,,,she came running out of the school and run straight across the road without looking crying her eyes out........she had been given a letter telling her how much everybody hated her and lots of children had signed it. I took the letter back to the school saw the head and between him and the school governors we got it sorted. Thank God she has now left that school and in a new school and is much happier and feels safe. Please don`t let go...........See the Head and if you don`t the answers you want take it further. Thinking of you both and sending hugs... R.B.

I just saw this and agree with everything that's been said. Would just like to add one point though - although at 10 years old it's important to talk wih Joe and have a plan to deal with things that he is comfortable with too as far as possible, ultimately, you are his Mum and you are in charge. If you feel that you need to do something to deal with this that he is not happy with, talk to someone that he doesn't want you to talk to for instance, it's down to you to do what needs doing while reasurring him at the same time. You're his Mum, doing what you believe to be best for him, and he needs to know that, at 10, he doesn't need to deal with it all alone. Schools can be intimidating, I know, but again, you're his Mum, and are the expert where Joe is concerned, no-one else. Remember that, and be confident. (If I ever find a person intimidating, I try to remember that they were once a screaming baby with a nappy that needed changing! :-)) I hope that the school is supportive and deals with this appropriately. I'll be thinking of you. x