General Chat

Pleased things are working out Heather,for you and your family. You deserve to be happy as you are a good mother and have always given of your time and most of all love to your son. Hope life continues to be good. Mau XXX :0))

If the Friday job works out and hubby wants to do it again.....your next job is to get hubby to ask son himself, rather than getting you to ask for him......! (otherwise son might think you have put hubby up to it, when you haven't) Merry

Just hope I havent jumped the gun. (Miss Negative coming back!). Wont say anything about the Will to hubby as yet - that would be pushing my luck. Last night hubby said, 'Ask him if he wants to come on a job with me on Friday - and well see how we get on' (Sons on hols from his job this week) To be honest, I thought I can imagine son giving about 20 reasons why he couldnt go and husband would have a smug smile and say, well there you are. But when son rang earlier I said, (nervously!) Oh by the way, dad said he wondered if you would be able to go with him to see a job and perhaps do some work on Friday. Pause and then son 'I dont see why not - I dont think we have anything planned, Ill get back to you on that' I do pray he will come back later and say Yep, Ill be there.

Wow Heather so really really pleased for you ;; Im sat here in tears as I have followed what you have gone through with your son and so great to hear this latest news ;; Just goes to show what a good job you have done by sticking by him as only Mams do ; Also can understand how you feel about that kiss;; my son split up with his wife of 19yrs in March and came back home to live, and for him to give me a kiss and a Hug something he hasnt done in 19yrs I was on cloud nine ;; so long may the feeling last with you ;; Good luck and good wishes for your son and may it long last ;; Babs

Oh Heather, I'm so delighted for you. It must have been very traumatic in the past and it's great to know that he has finally grown up. I think you should take some credit for it too though. I honestly believe that when you try to advise them and they say 'oh Mum, I know what I'm doing' or similar, that deep down they do listen and eventually take your words on board. Whatever happens with this relationship, I think you will find that he has turned a corner and isn't likely to go back to his old ways. Chrissie x

Lovely to hear how things have turned around for you and your family, Heather. Before you know it, you'll be shopping for a new hat .........!

Really chuffed for you all Heather. xxxxx

Merry - Well hubby told him years ago 'You are no longer my son - I want nothing to do with you and I want nothing from you. Mum can do what she wants, but never contact me again' Can you imagine how I felt? Even when he came home to us - after he was severely beaten up and he phoned from hospital - it was under sufferance from hubby - he rarely spoke to him - only when it was a case of demanding what he was going to do about unpaid bills and so on. Actually, I may start working on hubby re his Will. He actually went to the extent that he re wrote his Will leaving everything to other son.

How lovely. Hope everything continues to go well. Linda

heather , just read your thread, i'm so happy for you and your husband,and for your son, long may it continue hopfuly he's settling down now . hazelx

Oh Heather, that's wonderful. I think I can understand something of what you've been through for years, my sister has a son that we never give up hope for, so thanks for telling us this brilliant news although it's brought a few tears to my eye too. Sounds as if everything has just fallen into place. My best wishes to you all. Joyxx

You have always stuck by him Heather and now you should get your reward!! Isn't it lovely??!!!!!! Fingers crossed this lasts, but even if it doesn't he will have seen what it's like to be truly happy and to have others happy with him.....hopefully he will want to keep things that way. What a turn about re your hubby too!!!!!! (One day you may even be able to remove that trip wire?) I have a stupid grin on my face now.....you have made my day! Merry x

Thanks OC - this son has ruled our lives for most of his. I gave up my job/career because no one could or would control him - I then fought the LEA for years until he was given a place at a specialist school. When he wanted to do work experience with planes and everyone said it was impossible I got him a place at Duxford imperial war museum and I stayed in B and B down there and helped in the archives. I trained as a special needs assistant to help him and so on and on and on. After all that, I thought what had been the point when he upped and disappeared one day. It broke my heart. But now, I feel every second of it was worthwhile if he is really this young man he seems to have become. Its beyond my wildest dreams and hopes for him. That kiss on my cheek last night as he left - it was so wonderful and so unexpected. This tall handsome smiling young man - he is hardly recognisable to what he was in those horror years. Anyone else who is going through hell with their youngsters, please do take heart - I and obviously O.C. know the terrible days and nights when your heart feels like it just cant take any more but take courage in the thought that weve been there and come out the other side.

Heather - Thank you :0)) You have really, really given me something to hold on to - yes Hubby has given up and no I won't! It has caused such difficulties and torn us apart but other people just say 'oh its just a stage, it'll be fine!' and yet I dont know of anyone else who has had the problems we have had, and that makes me feel isolated --- until i just read your post I thought it was just me! So thank you again and wish you well for the future - I bet you must feel like you can breathe again!!! gotta go - all the best jen x

Well I keep hoping - my son's 27 and still hasn't grown up. Debby

Heather What a lovely story. My eldest girl was the teenager from Hell and at one point it was a toss up which one of us should be sectioned. She is now in her 30s, respectably married with a beautiful house, all of which they have worked for themselves, without any help from anyone at all. I am so proud of the way she has turned into a decent, caring, loving person. She has apologised so many times for the hell she put me through, but believe me, I don't need her apologies, her present life is enough for me. So, anyone going through this at the moment, don't depair - it does get better if you can just sit it out. OC

Thanks everyone, Im sitting here happy and grinning but nervous - just in case it goes bum upwards. The parents seem quite comfortably off and he told me they want him to go on holiday with them after Christmas - the Canaries I think. Theyve just come back from a Caribbean Cruise so at least money isnt a problem for them - I know that sounds awful, but not having money worries does help a lot - doesnt it. Jenn - if you told me 4 years ago that Id have a son who kissed me as he left the house and shouted I love you mum as he got in hubbys car last night I would have never believed you. In fact I thought by now Id have buried him. I had no hope for him at all and I look back and wonder how he ever managed to survive those years. The only calls we got were from police when he was arrested or found sleeping rough and even then they would add, he doesnt want you to come to the station but we have to let you know because of his age. Dont give up hope - hubbys do I know, if yours is anything like mine - but mums cant and wont.

Sounds just like he's finally grown up. He's had his wild years and now he's settling down. Fingers crossed, but it sounds like he's grown into a lovely lad. AL

Just to say you don't know how much hope you've given me today :0)))))) Seems like I'm in a similar position as to how you were and so to see a happy outcome is lovely. Thank you for sharing that with us - I wish you all lots of luck. Let us know how the story unfolds wont you - hope you get to meet her parents. Jen

And on top of being kind - son said 'Oh she thinks you are brill - really funny'. isnt that great - a girlfriend who actually likes me!