General Chat

Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes high school. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question? Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word 'divorce' means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in high school. 'ESTROGEN ISSUES' 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'ESTROGEN ISSUES' 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: 'How's my driving-call 0800......'. 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space'. 8 You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus. 9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.. TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. AND, the Number One thing only women understand: 1. OTHER WOMEN

- What the squiggles on clothes labels mean (no you bloody well can't boil wash silk) - that you cant put red or navy blue things in with white washing - How to load the dishwasher - How to turn the dishwasher on - how to empty the dishwasher - That the house needs cleaning before you go on holiday and that suitcases do not, ever, pack and unpack themselves Sorry, going for a cup of tea to calm down, come over all bitter and twisted! Helenx x x

Bet Jim and Howard are watching footie. They'd be here like a shot. Mau ;O)

whats its like to have a baby

Oh no they don't! Mistress Lil!

Women know everything

see below....