General Chat

Hello Everyone, Once again I just want to give a big thank you for all the support and advice you have all given me! It's strange you have all been such a help, more than my friends have. Thank you! Sxxxxxx

Stacey, if you have a university or college nearby, you could put an ad on the notice boards to see if there are any rooms spare - i.e. if there are a group of students renting a private house, someone might have dropped out and they have a room to spare, like that you might feel more secure knowing they are students and altho a bit scatty, usually ok young people (I manage student rented houses and have never really had a bad person there). They would also give you some company too and share their social lives with you which would help you. Good luck Liz

hi stacey sending you a big hug.im sure things will work out for you in the end.try and think possitive and prove to your parents that you can manage on your own 2 feet i was 17 when i left home and my parents thought i wouldnt cope but im very determind person and i made them very proud of me. bacardi x

Hi Stacey The charity Shelter should be able to give you some sound advice. They should have a fairly local drop in surgery and from my experience they will sometimes take a case on for you... http://england.shelter.org.uk/home/index.cfm Hope things work out for you. x Sara

could i just point out that Prozac is not one specific drug, it is a group of drugs.. names of which are diferent but come under the common heading of Prozac, as in they do a similar job .

Stacey ask for an alternative to Prozac..... say you don't want to use those and they will give you something else I promise!

I have mailed you. Shirley Ann.

Thank you all again. It is prozac that they gave me, which as my aunt says ' they give out like their sweets'. I've tried to get in to see my doc but can't till Friday, I think I've finally come to terms with the fact I need to take the pills and don't have much other choice if I want to feel good about myself again! As for the moving out, I think I'm just going to have to live with strangers in a rented room. The council waiting list is 3 years and they said I should look at renting a room until they can find me some where! I really do appreciate all your help and comments. Thank you. Sx

Stacey love Contact your local council, they should put you on their housing list. It can take a long time but if your dad does want you to leave home and tell them this, they will have to find you somewhere to live. It maybe temporary accomodation until they can find you something more permanant but at least you will have a roof over your head. In some parts of the country there is a charity called PASH which helps single people find flats and sorts out the bonds for them. If you are on a low wage you may be able to get some help with your rent. Contact your local CAB they should be able to help you find what help is out there. I have also PM'd you Take care hun Jackiexx

Stacey If you had bronchitis, would you refuse to take any pills to help you get better? Depression is caused by the lack of certain chemicals in your brain and the pills supply that chemical, which will eventually make you feel better. My daughter split with her boyfriend last year and did not want to live on her own. She asked a girl she works with if she would be interested in sharing a flat and they got one together. I am really happy about this as it means she has company, they look out for each other and they have a lot of fun together. They don't live in each other's pockets, but they are there for each other - kind of extended family. If there is a lot of tension at home, then living there is probably not doing you any good. Look on moving out as your first step towards getting better, in the exciting adventure that I hope your life will become. OC

Stacey as long as they don't give you Prozac then most depression pills are only meant to be taken for a year!! Please go to your doc or speak to a social worker as I am sure there is more you can do than you know of. D x

the council should help if your dad can put it in writing that he wants you out , as you have not made yourself intentionally home less i never felt wanted either , it ruined my child hood but love yourself and others and you will go a long way here for you if you ever want to chat love lorraine xxx

Stacey, loads of good advice here. One thing you said about taking pills for depression. I am sure that the latest pills are not addictive/habit frming and are just to help you get over the worst. I can appreciate that you want to solve your depression without medication but you can't do it on your own, you do need to talk to a doctor. You can tell the doctor you don't want medication he/she wont force you to take it but they will give you advice. Keep in touch with us on here, you will get a lot of support. Ann Glos

Thank you all so much for your kind words, advice and support. My friends don't really understand and I can't talk to my parents they don't really do the talking thing in my house. That and the fact I get told I'm feeling sorry for myself or it's not a big deal! I don't want to have to rely on pills to get me through my depression, I also don't want to be one of those people that gets stuck on them for years. Things is they're not going to solve my problems just hide them. Your all so very kind and I really do appreciate it. Sx

Stacey, hi, sorry you are in such a horrible situation right now, but wanted to tell you how my son managed. When he was 17 he and I argued a lot, so one day he came home and said he had found a room in a shared house, it broke my heart cos I didn't really want him to go, I love him dearly, but he wouldn't do anything to help at home, just lay in bed when he wasn't out or working and didn't life a finger to help in any way at all, just messed the place up more than it already was. Anyway I went to help him clean the room ready to move in, and gave him what things I had to help, like linen etc and he was there for several months. It was quite a scruffy house, but as he had no idea how to look after a place or do his washing etc, (he would never learn at home) he had to muddle through. He had the downstairs front room of a walk in terrace, so had the front door to himself and a lock on the inner door through to the hall and downstairs bathroom, kitchen and sitting room. After a while he got fed up cos the landlord kept going in without notice, (they are supposed to let you know before visiting) and he also used the front door and went through my boy's room, even tho he should have gone round the back and in through the communal door etc. My lad kept going to the council and of course they said no chance, but finally he was behind a drunk who had been thrown out of the night shelter for fighting, and saw this man offered a flat. My son queried it and was told that was the way the rules were, so he went away and looked at the Equality charter, and wrote to our local MP. Within two weeks he had been offered a lovely flat by a housing association who help disadvantaged or young hard up people with housing. It can be done! You have to be firm but polite and the best way for you to find out your rights is to go to an advice centre. At least you might get a bed and breakfast place to start with if your doctor says you are depressed and need help. Always worth a try, but if you can talk to your family and stay home while you save for a deposit, and you feel you would be happier away from them eventually, then try that. I will tell you that nearly 7 years on my son and I get on really well, we are very close and leaving home was the making of him in many ways. You can furnish a home very reasonably from charity shops and such places, and sometimes there are places where furniture is donated especially for people who can't afford new or those on benefits. You could also contact the local YMCA equivalent, if there is somewhere like that in your area. Make a visit to your doctor the first port of call and see what he can do to help you and go from there. Don't do anything hasty, in temper or panic, and stay in touch with us all on here if you can, so we can help support you emotionally. Lots of luck - look on this as a new challenge rather than a backward move, and wait for new experiences to come your way and embrace them. A New Year, a new chapter in your life, who knows what lovely things could happen for you. Liz x

Stacy - i wasn't implying you did stay out late - it was just an example of compromise.

Stacey sweetie Pleaseeeee don't ever try and manage depression on your own (you don't want to hear my story about doing that - honest!). Go to your GP and take whatever medication they give you for it - remember depression is just an illness like any other and therefore nothing to be ashamed of. Within a few weeks of treatment you WILL start to feel a lot better and your relationship with your family will improve too. I promise!! (((Hugs))) Mary x

Hi stacey.. again ;) sorry when i wrote my reply i didnt see the posting regards your depression. Please do me a favour, go to your GP, and tell him how you feel. As a mother of four daughters... and of course i remember my 20's, and the trouble i went through particuarly with my own mother.. i really do understand how you feel. sometimes its not what we say, its how we say it that makes all the difference.. But if all else fails, there is loads of help out there.. organisations and charities specifically aimed at your age group and type of problems. there are loads of people on here for a start willing to help.. and here to listen. But first, go to your GP, i am more concerned by your emotional state, and health, and that, above everything else is more important.. Em x

EM, I can appreciate what you are saying and I can see that you are very right in the things that you are saying too. I've tried before to talk to them about how I feel and they go on about stop feeling hard done by and sorry for myself. I tried talking to my mum about my depression too but she doesn't think that its a big thing she had it a few years ago so it means nothing. I'm fed up with trying to talk to them it gets me no where just in more arguements. Jess I hardly ever go out anymore, but when I do I'm not out late. It's not that, that's the problem he's got a short temper and if something really silly is said it'll set him off on one. Sx

I have been to hell and back with my 2 daughters. The eldest one has a baby of her own and often returns to live back at home not that we want her living here but she has not had anywhere else to live. We do love her and her son to bits but our house isnt big enough for the 2 of them so we had to practically force her to move out but I did all the running around to find her a place and had to prise her out of ours into hers... So even if you are asked to leave doesnt mean you are not part of the family.