General Chat

Lucy....... afew questions-you can answerby PM...thats OK.... I found my bio-dad in 2002 aged 34...I didnt even know I had one to look for ie...thought my Dad was my bio-Dad-and everyone kept stum....Ive done it and helped others do the same thing but the results and consequences are different in very case........ I'll be blunt...from what you have said,the foundations for all this search and potential meeting is sounding very awkward and vague......one person would read this as your brother being controlling ,another would read it as being protective......but I suspect the first......some parents in these circumstances put themselves first and are preoccupied with how they appear to other members of the family instead of focusing on your unique potential relationship,whilst others will be very welcoming and others simply cold . You have to ask yourself why?...curiosity isnt enough-it could be damaging.

my brother has only just got in contact with him after years of hateing him i don't qualify for having my heart n that checked yet as i am only 21 now

Lucy If NEITHER of your parents is on your birth cert, then you must have a short version. Send off for the full version and see what it says. However...you DO know where he is by the sound of it, so not much to be gained really. As everyone else has said, do be careful - these things can go badly wrong if you expect too much. My daughter was the result of my first brief marriage and was brought up by a stepfather. She always wanted to know her 'real' father but I held back, because I KNEW what a waste of space he was, and how he would let her down. I eventually helped her to find him when she was 27. True to form, he let her down badly, but she was old enough and settled enough for it not to devastate her life. Of course, this may not happen to you, but do think carefully how you will feel if he rejects you, or lets you down. Good luck. OC

Wont your half brother give you his address - seems that you know him well enough.

he carn't let me down any more than he has already how did you help you daughter find him? i appriciate any help you give me

not seen my brother since before crimbo hes done some stuff that no one agrees with, ive always stood by my brother but refuse to at this moment in time he has all the details i need

The other suggestion is see if you dad has any siblings, i know how you feel lucy i am 26 and i really want my dad to acknowledge me - send off for you full birthceftificate, do you know how to do that?

Lucy It was sheer luck in my case that found him - an absolutely unbelievable set of coincidences. I traced him by looking for the (very unusual) name of our best man. While I was doing this, I met a complete stranger through my work, who turned out to be my ex husband's first cousin! All this was hundreds of miles from where either of us had ever lived, so it was sheer chance. A more practical solution for you, probably, would be to try to find him on the Electoral Roll, or on B4U search. But please, please, go carefully and don't rush into contact - the first contact is very important and if you mess it up you don't get another chance. OC

hi lucy, are you living in the UK, or abroad, as i see that you say that you don't qualify for heart tests. bryan.

As a Practice nurse I would say that you could get a cholesterol check and blood pressure check at your Doctors--no problem-no matter your age, Ros x

well i admit this is a strange one itl proberly come to nothing i am living in the uk

Lucy I will add to be very careful, My husband has twin daughters who he has never seen or contacted, since the initial birth, when he was informed he'd done his job and to clear off. Yes I know about them and when I asked what if they contacted him his answer was ' We'll move again'. ......and sad to say he probably would he really has no interest in them. If they turned up maybe it would be different but .........please be careful, although you have a half brother in touch with him so maybe it will turn out okay. Jacqui

i don't know if he wants anything to do with me but at least i tryed