General Chat

we can never relax irish and sorry to hear abt your son.. this was a far worse case than mine and i think i would be ready for the men in white coats if it was me.. don`t think the police are a good idea now.. i said before that we have the police involved in other problems(bullying etc) and they have been good, but, today a neighbour called to the house to ask what had happened with her son and mine!! the school have made the bullies parents go to the school for meetings with the police at the meetings and have mentioned my son`s name!!!! sorry this is from previous incidents of bullying. so the police and school have named him.What`s gonna happen now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sharon

In our area there is a police person attached to each school to deal with this sort of thing. My son had a knife pulled on him at12 the school left it to us, didnt really want to know. But the school has ' a Duty of Care' to your son to keep him safe Call the police, even if it only ends up being a chat it may help your son, GOOD LUCK

I am going through the same thing, have you read my thread my son was attacked. I have to tell you the police were called. If it happened on school grounds it is down to the school to inform the police Today kids are to scared to be the grass but this is why we have so much crime as no one is prepared to deal with it so it goes on and on. Thing is these crimes are getting worse and worse. I hope your child recovers quickly. lots of best wishes i know it's such a worry. May i just add i called the papers they have been fantastic phoning thoe police every day asking why has this not been done ect ect, and whats the update, just brilliant. good luck When will us parents ever be able to relax?????

It's sounds like the school have no idea how to handle bullying! Check your local council web site see what info they have on Bullying Then I would write to chair of governors, of the school you may well find that they do not even know about the situation requst a meeting with them and ask what step will be made to make sure this dosenot happen again. Failing that contact your local LEA and request a meeting with him/her Good look and keep us posted

thanx to everyone for your help.. going to the school to raise hell and get this sorted once and for all will let you all know what they say.. if no joy maybe the newspapers will be interested..... dunno if i can do that but the threat has got to be worth a go...hey when you`ve got the internet you can try anything you want!!!!!! night night all sharon

Sharon, try to take a calm friend with you when you visit the school, they can be witness to what is said and might help you stay calmer, or stop you if you get angry and abrasive! I would certainly persuade your son to let you call the Police, ask him how he would feel if he didn't, and next time another child or himself got even more badly injured, or even killed. This hooligan needs a lesson now and maybe the Police visiting his parents might be the shock he needs to stop the bullying. Ask if the school will arrange a meeting with you and your son, and the parents, they must know why he has been suspended/excluded and if they saw for themselves, they might realise what a thug they have for a son. I wish you luck, I can imagine how worried your son must be, but I really think the Police should know, any further trouble from this thug when they already have his details, will help with punishment down the line. Liz

thanx everyone will see what school have to say tomorrow. i just wish i knew what rights i have to demand off them before i go shooting my mouth off which i can do very good and sometimes can be in the wrong so don`t wanna look or sound silly sharon

Sharon By what you say the school don't appear to be dealing with the problem. I would certainly involve the police it is not right that your son should have to face such treatment. I do hope that you can get this sorted. Hope your son is ok. Beryl x

how much trust to have with the school !!!!! they will say anything to you to clear themselves. this lad and his mate pushed jordan(my son) to the ground and kicked into him at school last week. i informed the school because he walked out, and this lad has done it again !!!!!!!!!! don`t want to be funny with the school as it may be more harmful sharon

Sharon Sorry this message comes to you over my OH name but I work for the Prison service and trust m go with what you feel in your heart!!! school rules fail because there is no disapline anymore thats why I get so much work! LOL

Who calls the police has to be doing it on behalf of your son - I think you are the only person who can do that. I'm sure the school will back you up but I don't see how they can act on his behalf. Schools will rarely involve the police unless the parents say that's what they want and the parents make the complaint on behalf of the child. There is obviously a bullying problem in the school - perhaps if you involve the police that may be the beginning of getting it sorted out. Gwynne

Sharon, I've only just read your message and would just like to tell you that at my kids secondary school, the head teacher would have involved the police. Our school is in the east end of London, police are always outside the school gates lunchtime and hometime. Despite this there are still fights, seen it myself many times. A couple of weeks ago two boys fighting off school grounds, one stabbed the other, in the head, with a comb. These boys are 13/14 years old. 3 years ago when my daughter first started this school, I received a phone call from the head saying my daughter had been sexually assaulted by a boy of the same age, she informed me that although the assault was not very, very serious, she was going to phone his mother, and threatend that if any more behaviour like that happend again she would report him to the police. I was fuming, wished I was 11 again, so I could give him a good hiding myself. I know its not right but next day I got someone I know, with a bit of a reputation and same sort of age to have words with him, to put it lightly, and he was ordered to apologise to my daughter. No problems since. We can't all go round fighting fire with fire so do what you said and go to the school tomorrow and find out what their policies are in these incidents. Bullies have to be stopped, however you choose to stop them, otherwise the problem just spirals out of control, until the culprit really does someone some damage. Hope your son is OK and good luck tomorrow - Carol

we are not frightened of the police being involved its the `who called them` that causes the problem. if the school should inform them first then the school made the first call.... this is the thing that makes a difference.. who made the first call sharon

Hi sharon I would refuse to send him to school until they sort it out, contact the police and tell them its not the 1st time it has happened , if you have a teacher as a witness the police should do something about it . I would contact a solicitor and try for an exclusion order to keep this boy away from your son. Most solicitors will give an intial meeting free of charge. Hope everthing works out ok lorraine

according to my son this boy is a right sh**, so i`m wondering if the school are trying to leave it up to me to do something about it to take the heat away from them???? i only spoke to the teacher who saw it happen, when i picked him up from school there was no-one else there to talk to me and i do know the deputy head quite well as jordan has had lots of problems with bullying and he was aware of what happened.. so why wasn`t he there to talk to me or help... think a visit to the school tommorrow may get me somewhere... i just feel so miserable about all this....and i am sick of worrying every day when my son goes to school thinking somethings gonna happen sharon

The victim has to make any complaint, even if the school phoned the police they could do nothing unless your son made a complaint. That's why schools leave it to parents to decide. Gwynne

Sharon, my daughter was beaten up by a girl at school and she attacked her again on the bus on the way home, she was 14 at the time. I went to the police and complained. They asked me what I wanted to do. I said this girl needed to be stopped as she had damaged my daughters glasses (she was wearing them when this girl attacked her) and my duaghter was a nervous wreck time she had got home. The police visited this girls home and her parents were totally unaware of what she had been up to. The girl herself was shocked to find the police on her doorstep and it stopped immediately. Go to the police and make a formal complaint, do not let your son suffer. My youngest child does not attend state school where I live, he is home tutored. A couple of weeks back a 13yr old girl was surrounded and attacked by other children at her own school all13/15...in our High st. This is no more than a ten minute walk from where I live and the school my son would have had to go to if he was in the state system. Bullying in this country is out of control....said daughter was beaten up when she was 7 as well, so don't anyone tell me it's getting better..... I wish you and your son a happy ending to this problem. Nanna-Moo ;-(

hi sharon As far as i know its up to the individual if they want to press charges , as least the school has suspended the boy. lorraine

the boy has been excluded, but for how long !!!!!!!!!!!!! i just thought if the school had a responsibility to phone the police then my son could not be blamed for involving them..as in the school get the police involved as an assault has taken place on there premises does that make sense??? sharon

hi sharon, my son was also bullied at school, and yes i called the police, tho they weren't very helpful as my son did not have a witness, but it is down to you if you want them involved, i'd call them,