General Chat

Oh Caz so sorry things are still bad for Graeme I dohope that it gets sorted. I would certainly try to get another job if I was him. Nowhere near on the same lines but my daughter was going through a really bad time with an employer once. Being put on etc. treated different to the men. Had ended up trying to run the art department on her own and they wouldn't let her do overtime to make deadlines etc. A solicitor told her she had a case for sexual discrimination etc. But was told she was too nice to win as to use the solictors words she worked for dogs. Anyway back to the point she was told it is far easier to get a job while you are in work rather than leave and then look. So she did, it didn't go down very well and that firm have to send out for their art work to be done now. So good luck with the job applications Sellafield sounds good. Tell Graeme chin up . Germaine x

Ann and mary have PMd you, jean will catch you at 7, Caz xxx

Caz I have ony just seen this - with friends here last week I did not touch my computer. I do so feel for you and your family . it is so hard trying to be the strong one. Graeme should be able to get some help - Iraq must have taken the toll on him - yes I know it did with you trying to bring up the kids on your own. If I can help send me a pm - but do tell him he has a life and his family too who love him so dearly. My hubby was in a job for 15 years that took all his time and left me with 2 sons to try and control - not an easy job - but it all turned out right in the end. That was the main reason we came to Spain to get away from the rat race. Thinking of you all - and remember if I can listen to you I am here for you. Take care all Love Mary xx

Caz, I will be sending positive thoughts your way. It is terrible that Graeme appears to have had no back up from his superiors when he was threatened. Who was it said he had no right to send him back? And of course the man will be released, in years gone by he would have been punished by extra days added to his length of stay but now they are trying to get them released asap. Don't forget to stay calm and rational. If they are looking fr ex military I am sure that graeme stands a good chance. Ann Glos

today graeme was threatened again and security got there just before the man went for him as he was cornered, dont get me wrong graeme is a strong man but this thug was 6ft 1 and in for GBH, Graeme told him he was going to be removed for refusing to work, he got verbally offensive and when G went in the office to call security the man slammed his hand on the phone and said you arent F' in phonin anyone When security arrived it ws almost too late, g was in charge of 16 of them on his own. The man was sent back to the wing and graeme got a call saying he had no right to send the man back!!!!!!!This man is released on Friday so will not be punished, I am watching the man I love be destroyed and need you all to wish me luck as tonight I am going to sit him down on here and literally make him do job applications, he is so down with it he hasnt got the motivation, Sellafield are looking for ex military with skills so we will try there, Please send him positive thoughts, Many thanks Caz xxx sorry to go on xx

Hope everything turns out well Caz Love to you all Germaine x

Many well known companies today have procedures for exiting staff who are off sick, especially with stress related problems. Unfortunately, once the procedure is commenced it is very hard to stop it. Dismissal often happens on grounds of poor performance, or inabilty to perform at all (because of absence) This then causes more stress, which add to the problems. Do get advice, and make sure you know exactly that the procedures are so you can be prepared. Good luck

Arrrrrr Caz.....so sorry you are going threw all this...hope you get things sorted out hun.....and it is disgusting what is happening to Graham...i would go to the C A and get some advise....not only for Graham... but for you also as a family. Good luck Caz.....pm me anytime...love Gwyn xxxxx

Hope you can get this sorted out Caz, and Graeme. Nothing worse than being unhappy at work. And Malc, hope things go well for you too. My son has a different job now, regular hours, no pressures and pleasant people to work with, the money is much less but he has a second job two nights a week delivering pizzas. He was just saying on Sunday how much better he feels, happy to go to work now on either job and he is doing less hours in total than before for almost the same amount of money. I am so relieved to hear him say he is happy. He is looking to do some training to be a plasterer as he wants a skill, but he is a great people person so I am sure he will find his niche somewhere soon. He is only 24 so plenty of time but has to find his rent for his flat etc and wants to get a car. Life is too short to continue being unhappy at work. Liz

I think sometimes its the company you work for. Sainsburys have been bloody marvelous where I have been concerned. I have had a bad 6 years first with the time off I took because of pneumonia then all the panic/anxiety attacks I have had since. Now add to that the op's I have had on my feet (toe nails) . I know the meeting I have soon will decide my future with the company . But I will say they have been great

Take care Caz and I hope your OH (Graham?) is feeling much better soon.

I forgot to say Caz, some organisations have Welfare services where employees and their partners can ring up and talk if they are stressed or have problems. There may be a support service in place for you. You must be pretty stressed about this and need to talk to someone too,

have to get kids to bed, but you have helped me more tha can say, battle stress and prison stress very bad combo, Love to you all caz xxx

Ann is right, please ask him to jot everything down and ask him to keep all the documentation. Also, ask him to jot down what he has told them and when (if he can remember the dates) If the worse comes to the worse, it may be useful in an employment tribunal but hopefully it won't come to that. I think he/you need to act now so it doesn't come to that. I may be wrong but in my opinion he needs to talk to someone else about this as well eg a TU rep? A manager? Occupational Health? Welfare organisation? His doctor? Talking about it to someone may relieve some of his stress and they may help come up with other solutions that he may not have thought about.

Ann many thanks, if the situation continues we will all go down with stress, it is so hard to live in the pressure, jeff you are right, I told him tonight ' you only live once' You lot help when things are tough Caz xxxx

Caz No-one who is prepared to work should be unemployable, no matter what their circumstances are. I don't know what the work situation is where you live but it seems to me that the best solution is for him to try and find another job and get out of the prison service. Doing a job that makes you ill is no good to nobody and I can speak from experience as I went through that situation myself. Please give him my best wishes and I hope he has some luck coming his way. Jeff xx

Claire, Ann, lesley I am just digesting your replies and am so very grateful, I need to show him, we as the family get the back lash of it all, When he was in iraq with the TA he was less stressed, mad or what? Your replies are so helpful and tommorow { he is out at the TA now} I am going to go throught them with him, i feel he is scared stiff as the main wage earner and doesnt know which way to turn Thanks my friends, caz xxx

Caz, Do you think they are taking into account the stress he was under in Iraq? So many of our military personnel are suffering when they come home and not getting the proper treatment because we no longer have military hospitals. the stress of the last six months added to the normal pressure of work is bound to affect him. Can he talk to anyone in the TA about it? I feel sure that, if it is his line manager that is telling him this then he should ask to speak to either HR or a welfare officer (I am sure they must have one) because this person is only causing more stress. There must be procedures in place and it would not look good for the prison service if he were to bring a constructive dismissal case when he has just returned from iraq. Does he belong to a union? Ann Glos

I'm sorry Caz, is your husband still signed off sick? Has been off sick long term (they can still sack him if he's been off for a long period) however, again there are procedures to follow.

Don't know much about the prison service, but have a friend in a similar position workwise with regard to having been signed off several times with RSI. Very stressful for you both. Do try and get the Union Rep involved and perhaps go to citizens advice for the legal side, Best of luck Rosexx