General Chat

I haven't seen my dads family since his funeral 26 years ago, after that none of them stayed in contact apart from my step grandmother and when she died no one bothered to tell me, so I kept writing to her for 2 years before someone got in touch and told me. I have managed to find they're numbers and have phoned them but one uncle said I am no longer part of the family and told me to phone his brother he might care. Didn't bother after that it is a shame that they didn't care enough about their brother to have stayed in touch with his family. Jackiex

Shelli, I just feel like people blame me for what my dad did. I have never even seen a photo of my grandparents. About my half-sibling I get told things like well, they had it hard when their mum and dad split, But what about me? My childhood wasn't exactly a bed a roses. Pat x

Also Pat, my mum is the same as your Dad. She left when I was about 6 too. I was left with my Nan, who wasand is wonderful. I did see her occasionally. But these days i rarely see her, unless i make the effort to viist Nan at the same time as she is!!! But to be honest, I've given up, I was putting too much energy in to trying to have a relationship with her. As Saba says it's her loss. My energy now goes into my kids... looking forward.

Pat don't know about the norm, is there ever a norm in a situation like this??? Perhaps your mum warned the Aunts and Uncles away when she split from your dad? Perhaps they stayed away feeling it would disrupt your life even more? as for your half siblings, perhaps it's the old thing, what they've never had they'll never miss?? Shame cos knowing you i know how much they're missing!!!! There are so many perhaps. Like you I would welcome any relations with open arms, but who is to say we'd actually get on. After all you can't choose your family can you?

That's the way most people look upon my dad, But he's not a bad person. But he does have a problem with the drinking. I think now though mostly my dad doesn't know what to do to try to mend things. He knows he can't give us back our childhood.For me though, although our relationship is not great, It's better than not having one as a far as im concerned. I agree though, sometimes it's their loss. Pat x

i have not talked to my dad for 35 years i just get on with my life , my wife and kids are my family , thats his loss

My mum and dad split up when I was 6 years old. Basically my dad was (is) an alcoholic and my mum had an affair and chucked him out. My dad had been married before and had 4 children with his first wife. When he split with my mum I saw him a few times, but he went off travelling with the Gypsies ( although he's not one). I then didn't see him for 20 years untill I found him 5 years ago. My feeling are not towards him as I know that he would not have ever left us, but I suppose my mum couldn't take the drinking that's why she threw himout. i feel rejected by my dads family. His father was alive and he has 2 brothers and a sister.I never saw them when I was growing up, They never visited me and my mum never took me to them. When I made contact with my aunt and one of my uncle's about 8 years ago, They made it clear that they wanted nothing to do with me, although my aunt did give me her phone number to contact her if I needed to. It was the same when I found my half-siblings. I can't understand this. If it was my neice I'd want to see them and be in their lives.. Do you think this is the norm? DId you feel rejected as a kid/adult? Pat