General Chat

Who has and hasnt made a will? My OH has one because of the army etc but it suddenly hit me today the true implications of me not having one: the rights of my eldest 3 kids from my first marriage, what would happen to the 3 kids under 16 if g and i were both killed, All advice greatly recieved, Thanks, Caz xx

Mmm, have always felt I was tempting fate too and putting off 'til tomorrow what I should have done y'day...... - but doing mine this week so that things are how I want............... I too have a young son and my priority is to get things sorted for him! Bite the bullet and get it done and it will remove that little nagging worry you have! All the best Jules x

Thanks Jules, Thats it, protecting the interests of the kids, i was chatting to someone today and it hit me the mess that would be left behind, where did you go? Caz x

Hi Carol In my opinion, You really should get a will drawn up - even just for the 3 youngest children. When my parents divorced, mum had sole custordy (sp) - and was advised by her solicitor, to have a will drawn up - stating things like guardianship - etc. This was 30 odd years ago now, though. BUT still think you need to get one doen. Liz

hi caz. ,,,,,,, you can make provisions for them from your estate,,,,,,,,,if this is what you mean,providing for them... or,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,if you worried what would happen to your childern lifes if anything dreadful happened,to you both,,,,,,,,, think this is a case of arranging something with extended family,,,but if they dont want to take responsiblity then the welfare of the kids would be took into account and this is where S/S and a court would probally decide,??

I made one years ago. There was a short time where single parents could get one drawn up for free. Unfortunately I haven't updated it, so, my posessions are shared out between my children to do with what they want and the children AND all their pets (lol we had loads and my ex's partner had allergies to most of them!!) are to live with their father. The 'children' are now 26 and 24, and one has a child of her own!! maggie

Well - this sounds daft as it was an emergency situation an I was on my way to hospital, but for that i just grabbed one fm our local Post Office and we filled it in to cover the situation at the last minute - (I was scared of MRSA etc) When you have actually sorted out what you want to happen and would be a good idea to talk to peeps concerned, you need to ask for a Solicitor that has been recommended by experience. Ask up front on Fees etc too........................ We had a bad experience with a Solicitor who managed to drag out the execution of the will for three and a half years and cost us £7,600 in Fees!! Needless to say - I wouldn't be recommending her! My Post Office one is Legal by the way as it has been duly witnessed and signed, but you may need more confidence by paying for a Pucca one to be done! It will be replaced shortly!! Jules x

Forgot to mention - that family members had to agree,etc. My Uncle was prepared to look aftr us - if anything happened to mum. With the help and guidance from my maternal grandparents. Liz

Many thanks Ladies, My oh and I have 5 kids from first marriages ages 20, 18, 18, 16 and 13 and two of our own age 8 and 4, The fear I have is No1 the rights of my eldest ones if something happened to me and the guardianship of the little ones if it was both of us, our parents are too old to take them on, I will be making one, there are so many complicatins it is hard to know where to start, Caz xxx

It's not morbid - and it doesn't tempt fate! Everyone should have a will but especially if you have young children. Would you like Social Services taking your children into care if you were both killed in an accident? If you haven't left instructions in your will giving the names of guardians for them then that's what could happen. It's also vital if you have children from more than one relationship. If parents don't leave a will then only blood relatives can inherit which can leave step-children in difficult circumstances.

Caz - believe it or not - I was at the solicitor's signing my will the afternoon I was admitted to hospital last June with my mystery illness - scary or what?? It was just coincidental not intentional!! I then had to sign a Power of Attorney the following week after being told how seriously ill I was so that OH could make my decisions for me, just in case..... I think it's VITAL to have made one - I was really only updating mine to include 6 year old - I'd had one from before she was even thought of, to cover her 2 elder brothers. In a case where there has been a previous relationship I think you need to consider who you would like to look after them until they are old enough, if you don't want a previous partner involved. When my Mum died in 2003, all we managed to find was a photocopy of her will. The solicitor who drew it up closed her practice & didn't store the important documents from her clients in the correct manner. We had one hell of a job getting probate granted as we had to get the proper people in the High Court in Belfast to accept it. Thankfully, we're not the sort of family who squabble over petty things so we all had to sign an affadavit to say that we agreed with the contents before it went to court - it took 18 months for probate to be granted & was a NIGHTMARE!! Please consider getting one made ASAP. Ails x

Ive got a Will and also instructions for my funeral, but as ive got nothing to leave im not worrying to much. You should always update your Will if theres a major change in your life, people often forget. xx

I have same problem, we made a will before we married but of course that is not legal now we have married. Trouble is we have not been back to sort it and I know for certain there will be problems if his ex has anything to do with it. My boys say they don't want anything but why should they miss out? Appearantly if you both die in a crash and they don't know who died first, they take it that the eldest died first so everything goes to the youngest family-very confusing. Take my advice and get along to the solicitors, I know it can be expensive but well worth it- now when will I take my own advice!!! Janet

Funny cos I was thinking about this earlier. I had a dream last week that I would die in August 2024 when I was 48 yrs old. When I woke up, I worked it out, and I WILL be 48 in August 2024. Years ago a psychic said I shouldnt worry because I wouldnt die til my last child had reached maturity. (I didnt even have my 2 youngest then). In 2024, my youngest will be 18....this dream gave me the creeps. Im so organised, I want to know when I'll die so I can prepare things in advance, but its also quite sad.

Its not morbid, it gets things all done and dusted and then goes on the back boiler. We made wills many moons ago when daughter was married to her first hubby. didn't do anything to amend it after they divorced as it was really covered in the will including at that time there was only one child. We reconsidered a couple of years ago when she remarried & our grand kids have grown to adults .we did two new wills bringing everything up to date including that daughter no longer needed to live in the family home,They are reciprocal wills in as much as we leave to each other everything etc and then daughter can do what she wants with the assets when we BOTH gone. At least we can now forget about it and enjoy our retirement knowing we ain't leaving problems for her to sort out. Shirley

Caz, would any of the older ones be prepared to be guardians to the younger, maybe with a trusted adult left in charge of finances. You need to get it sorted asap. Ann Glos

Sort of going along with the same subject, but has anybody thought about what they would want at their funeral? Type, music etc. After arranging one some years ago for a relative, it is quite difficult to know exactly what that person would want. Would be a lot easier if the person could choose themselves. Martin

MARTIN - before I had my brain surgery last July I sat up til 4am one night making my funeral arrangements (I'm a young 38). I put them in a sealed envelope & gave them to my minister. Thankfully they haven't been needed & I should ask for them back again. I had all the music chosen & hymns - I had even written down the important events in my life - the date & place I was born, schools I went to, details of first job, memories which stood out etc. I'd even got the phone numbers of the people who I wanted to be responsible for playing the music written down. I'd also written messages for my family, just in case. Ails x

We did ours about 2 months ago - don't do a woollies one, not doing one could be disastrous - you never know how people change in such situations. You can always add/change things at a later date as well. jude sarf wales x

Definately no wooden coffin for me !!!- cardboard box please :o)) jude x