General Chat

Kaz I am so pleased you and your daughter were able to sort things out and I am sure if her young man has any decency he will understand your 'rules' and expectations of him. Lots of luck for a more peaceful life, you will never stop worrying, it is what mums (and dads, before I get ticked off) do best. I am pleased that her dad seems to work with you on these problems rather than opposing you, a united front makes all the difference. Liz

Hi Liz Yes we both sat and talked very calmly and openly,she understands what i have said and she now knows what is expected of her. I could see where she was coming from also. She knows she has to gain my trust again as does her friends. I have told her that when the young man that she is involved with has her with him he has to respect and look after her when he she is in his hands as i hold him responsible for her, he also needs to regain my trust and start by coming to the house so i can meet him, i did say i wouldnt say anything about the incident but i would be watching and listening to all that goes on rom here and now...he needs to regain my trust and prove to me he can look after my daughter..we both feel alot better now after our chat and things are back on track for us, i still worried when she was out on saturday night and kept in touch with her but i think i will always be like that, im a mother after all,lol. Lets hope she has spoken with her friends and told them how i feel and what i expect from them all...Thank you so much for replying...Kaz

Hope you managed to talk with your daughter calmly and she listened as calmly, and you both feel better for clearing the air. Liz

Marion Im glad too...just hope she hears what i say and its only out of worry and concern for her...thanks

Kem'pju:te Indemanare 0 When you put it that way then yes i agree, she does know right from wrong, its the crowd she is with, she is a sensible girl i do know that, its getting her to realise that if the police catch up with them and she is with them and they have been drinking then she will get dragged down with them and also i worry when she is in the cars as the speed they drive is just horendous...i fear that an accident may occur when she is in the car...also when it is after 11pm and they are making so much noise that she will maybe get done for breach of the peace...im hoping she will heed what i say when she gets in from work later..

Well Thats great....but I still say we cant stop them getting into trouble......Prehaps that sounds hard....but she has stopped herself...from the morals you have taught her!!!! prehaps my words are wrong...your daughter knows right from wrong coz you told her....its the crowd she is with...but her knowledge has stopped her going the whole way good luck with your met

Glad she is wanting to talk to you. thats a great start to thing's.

I had more problems with one son than the other. Not coming home,skipping school.smoking,drinking going around with the 'wrong crowd' getting in fight's etc etc. I was at my wits end with worry. That is what mother are for. That was as far as it went thank goodness. I know it could have been a lot worse but at the time you worry sick, wondering what was going to happen next etc. He has always had a job right from being a paperboy at 13, has a very good job now along with a wife and two lovely little boys..for me to worry about lol. Marion

Kem'pju:te Indemanare 0 I feel we can stop them from getting into trouble by warning them of the dangers out there as we as parents speak from experience, my daughter has always listened to what i have said and never defided me...its just been since she has got in with these new lads that she has changed! She has just texted me saying 'Mum can you be in wen a get in, i want all this C... sorted, be home 3pm' dad must of had words..think she does know i just worry about her SO much with her being with these lads and the fact the police are watching them ALL the time they are in the village..

Marion because we have been teenagers we now know the pit falls and we just try to stop them going down that road but it NEVER seems to work ah! As they always say ' Mother knows best' but that doesnt seem to matter..No more sleep overs at mine anymore. The new crowd shes now with wont come in to meet me,well the lads anyway! They sayhi to me through a text on her mobile but cant come and meet me face to face but if im not going to be home they are quick enough to come in then and that annoys me...

Well done ladies ..we have children who are doing what teenagers do,....be teenagers!!!! I,ve read your thread and agree with most of what has been said .....but we worry coz thats our job as mums...and thats what we should do. These things are just what our teens should do ...but the bit of the job that is at the end of this phase is to be there for them when they come home!!...until them ..we worry I konw that these words are not helpful at the mo coz it dony solve your problems.. My sons did the same sort of things but now ..at 21 and 18 they are on my doorstep as soon as they need help. Remember always say your bit and then....say I do love you....we cant stop them getting in trouble..but we can be there when the fall... Good luck...we have each other and we know that,,.....they THINK they have no-one

Oh MY. The only other thing you can do is hope she grows out it , I am sure she will lol. We had sneaky party's in out house when we were on holiday too. I even booked my son into a B&B while we were away and gave the keys to a neighbour. Just aswell she didn't need them as my son had kept the keys and gave her old ones lol. I was lucky there was no damage, just drink on carpet etc. After that we made sure we went on holiday the same time as my sons did. good luck Marion

Hi Deb..i wish they would just realise it is there safety we worry most about!! All she keeps saying is 'you were 17 once'! Yes i was but i never done what she is doing to my mum what she is doing to me, its the police and the drink that is worrying me along with these lads shes with, i know one of them is almost 21!! to me that is TOO old for her! But the more i seem to go on the more determined she is to still hang around them. Its a catch 22 isnt it! I ended up pregnant at 17 with my 20 year old and i know how hard it was, i dont want her to go down that road! I keep an eye on her pill packet(she was put on iy by the doc due to period probs and ovarian cysts) she should of had a period this week but she has started a new packet straight away and this is worrying me also as to why she has doen this! It makes me think of only one thing. Dont know if im being paranoid or not...Its just trying to work out what to do for the best isnt it?

Hi Marion its a very BAD word,lol She used to always have her friends round prior to this...my house always seemed to be THE house to go to. I have allowed her the house to herself with her friends in the past and they have ALWAYS kept it in shape and never gave me cause for concern BUT the last time it wasnt so good, she also had the NEW friends in aswell, they had all been drinking and god knows what else, as it turned out found a few things wrong with my house the next day and somethings broken!!! I was not happy and i told her this...told her it was the last time it would be happening!! A few weeks later she asked if 2 of her friends could stay over when i wasnt going to be here, because it was just 2 of her new friends i gave her the benefit of the doubt as she promised NO-ONE else would be in the house and they where going out and would just be in for bed so i allowed it. I am good friends with my neighbour and she watches things for me, the next day when i came home i didnt believe what i was told!!! She had a house full of people, 5 boys had came to my home with carrier bags of alchol..this went on till 2.30 in the morning! Again things were broken! The following day when she wnet to work i found 10 cans of lager and 2 bottles of 20 20 hidden in her room so i poured it down the loo, also i found durex, i was horified!!! they got binned too!!! Now i am getting all this from her!!! Im at my wits end with worry, it just ISNT like her at all..

Hi Kaz, Me too. I'm going through the same thing. I haven't seen my 17 yr old daughter all day. She stormed out this morning and it's now 8.20pm and not a word from her. She sent a text to her sister telling her where she was so the message was passed on to me but she doesn't ring me herself, she knows it'll just end in a screaming match. I suppose the best we can do is to sit tight and let this phase pass. We know that we've been good mums and I'm sure our daughters will realise this in time. We want to keep them safe from harm and they want to experience life. Deb:)

Hi Sharm..it sure is HARD work...i have never had any bother with her until now, its a shock to the system. I tried to act normal this morning beofore she went to work, she was taking her younger sister with her on the bus to meet my parents, it is raining here and cos of that i said to her that i would take them in, what an attitude i got back from her...so i just left it and they got the bus, feel bad for the little one with it raining!!! Hoping your youngest doesnt give you worries when in teen years!! x

Teenagers...thats a bad word lol. They just dont understand it's only because you love and care about them. Let her cool off a bit and suggest she brings some of her friends to the house. ie have a BBQ,maybe once you have met them they wont seem so bad. I am glad I am past that stage and on to the next, got grandkids to worry about now lol Marion

Kaz Have a restful peaceful day today - do what you want to do. Yes agree kids are a worry - even though mine are 34 and 31 still worry about them - does not make it easier me being in Spain and they in UK. But must have done something right bringing them up - they are both going to Exeter tomorrow to meet with my mom and sister for lunch - it is my mom's 84th birthday - so bless them youngest travelling from Nottingham and eldest with wife from Somerset even though the eldest and wife are moving house on Tuesday all the way up to Ambleside in the Lake District. Love Mary xx

hello kaz know how you feel its hard isnt it? i have 3 teenagers and a 9 year old. My eldest girl is 18 and hasnt been much trouble, but my middle girl nearly 16 is very difficult at the moment, we are forever falling out, she seems to think she knows best, wont take advice and she was such a nice little girl! also have a 17 year old son who hasnt been bad at all touch wood. girls are much more difficult all those hormones playing havoc all ive got to look forward to is my 9 year old daughter turning 13 and changing personality! good luck im sure it will blow over stay calm and try to talk to her. Sharmala. .

Hi Kaz I never had a daughter - got 2 sons - eldest no prob - although did upset me giving me only 12 hours notice he was getting married. That was almost 10 yeats ago and they are still happily married. Youngest was a pain in the bum once hitting the teens. Trouble with the big T - but he is now 31 - all I can say is stick with your daughter and eventually she will grow up and appreciate you as a mom. Take care Love Mary xx