General Chat

Hi Jenny, So sorry to hear this. I have had several miscarriages and the only time the DRs intervened is when there was signs that the baby was still inside. When scans showed clear after a mascarriage they usually don't do anything. (not much to do sorry :( ) Can I ask if she has been tested for polycystic ovaries. That is what i suffer from, I too have a period here and there and it is the cause of the miscarriages. With polycystic ovaries the cysts make it hard for the ovaries to secrete or absorb hormones (to varying degrees). Love to you and your family, Louisa

Jenny so sorry to hear this news, I can understand how sad this poor girl is feeling. How I wish she had received better care and support through this ordeal.Will be thinking of her. Liz x

So sorry to hear the sad news Jenny.I hope your daughter's step-daughter is recovering now and everything will be okay for her in the future. Mau xx

Hope everything is ok with her. I don't think it would be wise to go abroad though...........

Jenny that is so sad, poor girl. and there is nothing really you can say to ease her pain. I am amazed at the lack of sensitivity shown by the doctor. But I really shouldn't be, most of them are not noted for their bedside manners. Bless her I hope all goes well for her. Deanna X

Jenny Im so sorry for her. I know how she is feeling. As for the lack of suuport from the doctor, I had the same. My second pregnancy ended in a very early misscarriage (5 weeks), My next pregnancy ended at 14 weeks when I was told my baby had died at about 8-10 weeks, I had had no signs. I had a d and c 2 days later. When I fell pregnant again, I was obviously very scared. I started bleeding at 6 weeks and was getting a lot of pain. The bleeding stopped and I was kept in hospital for a few days. I was given a blood test and then a few days later was tested again, They were looking for my hormone levels. I was told that as the hormone level had gone down, My baby was 'probably dying', Thats the exact words the doctor used! I went mental! The doctor was completely unsympathetic. However my baby fought and is now a healthy 8 year old! Pat x

Thanks Mommylonglegs for the explanation.....I had not heard it described like this before......it was very sad being their first, but they have two healthy girls now and another baby on the way, so we are really happy.......sorry to hear about your family member though.... I thought I had replied to this thread earlier, but I can't find it.....going a bit potty maybe....

Hi Sally, sorry to hear that. The only thing I can think of is, although your DIL was 11 weeks, the baby or should I say Foetus? Probably died in its very early weeks and had not grown to its 11 weeks stage. A foetus if fully formed at 12 weeks, but a couple of my miscarriages at 12 weeks, were not 'fully formed' I would imagine a lot of women have a miscarriage, and they didnt even know they were pregnant. Going to change this thread title to ' Very sensitive thread. Jenny. x

Jenny - l am so sorry, the poor girl. l must admit it did'nt seem right at all that the doctor sent her home like that. Hope she recovers soon bless her. Take care and keep your chins up all of you. Hugs to all. jude sarf wales xx

My daughter in law started to bleed at 11 weeks, and she was scanned and told the baby had absorbed and there was no need to do anything else.....I did not understand this, she was definitely pregnant......she since went on to have two lovely daughters and is now pregnant again.....but what did they mean by absorbed.?

Just to let you all know, my 'relative' actually my Daughters Step Daughter, lost her baby this lunchtime. She is ok, but obviously broken hearted. I am so annoyed that no-one had told her what to expect, just sent home to wait the inevitable. The poor girl had no support from her GP whatsoever, and considering they didnt know at the begining if it was an Etopic pregancy or not, I think it is absolutley disgusting. I had to relay what I knew from my past experiences to my Daughter, so she could tell her. As I said earlier I have had 6 miscarriages, and all were completley different. My first one, my first pregnancy at 12 weeks, was horrendous. The next, my 3rd pregnancy I was 19 weeks and thought I was dying, ended up in hospital, D&C and had to be given 3 pints of blood. Sometimes I had to have a D&C others I did not. I have been lucky I have 4 healthy children by my late Husband, But unlucky because I lost my last two babies with 2nd Hubby. He has never had any children and we would have dearly loved our own, although I was in my late 30's. Sorry to have rambled on but I feel so upset and angry. Only a few weeks ago, we were laughing and joking that my Daughter was going to be a Step Grandma at the age of 27yrs. Yes there is rather a large age gap between my Daughter and her Husband. Jenny. x

Cant add to this Jenny, jjust sending you all lots of hugs, thats all take care xxLynnxx

Thank you all for your replies. I have read each of them and want to reply. But I have had unexpected visitors and they have just gone home. So will get back to you all tomorrow. Jenny xx

One point no one seems to have mentioned, and I am not being unsympathetic in not discussing the miscarriage, I have been through a premature birth and losing my daughter 3 days later so do understand, but what about the praciticalities of this situation? Is this young lady insured to go abroad and will that insurance now be invalidated because of an undisclosed medical condition? I think that you need to help her check this out in case of any problems abroad, and her incurring expensive medical bills and no longer being covered by her insurance. I do feel for her, the whole thing seems to have been very casually dealt with, and she might feel the need for some counselling in a while. There is also the problem of infection so she must take care. Liz

Tania Although I understand and agree with what you say about a D and C not being a simple operation without risks, in my day there were of course, no scans available, and the first you knew of your miscarriage was when you started to bleed. When I had my first miscarriage, the GP was not sure that I was pregnant, and as there was a GP strike at the time I was told to go home and wait to see what happened next. I almost bled to death and had to have three blood transfusions and a D and C, followed by a further D and C because I had an infection. We have scans now - a mixed blessing, because before that we were all in blissful ignorance of what was going wrong. But to be told your baby is dead and then be sent home to wait days/weeks for the inevitable, is rather cruel, in my opinion. OC

Hi Jenny This is not just a cost cutting measure as some seem to think. A D&C is not just a simple operation,they can and do go wrong. The most common complications are perforation of the uterus but have also heard of perforation of the bowel and bladder. This is why they should only be performed if absolutely necessary.For most women they are not. In the old days they did them because they thought it was kinder,which was misguided I find that as long as women understand what is happening and the process and have good family support they are fine If a scan has shown that the fetus and products of conception are no longer in the womb and they have ruled out ectopic pregnancy then everything will simply pass . Personally if it were me I would definately go on holiday. Regards Tania

Unfortunately this does seem to be the norm. Please take her to hospital asap if shes losing too much blood; my useless GP told me 'Its only a miscarriage, no need to go to hospital'. I lost half the blood in my body and nearly died; I needed a blood transfusion. Falkirkbairn, Im so sorry to hear that. x

So sorry for her loss. She may end up having to have an ERPC.

My daughter lost her first, much wanted baby (and my first, much wanted grandchild) at 14 weeks. She went for a routine scan, was told very matter of factly that her baby was dead, and tipped back out into the waiting room. She went home distraught and I called her GP. He said it was not necessary for her to go into hospital as nature would soon take its course. Three weeks and two days later, nature still had not taken its course and I was climbing the walls with terror. I dragged her to A and E and kicked up a stink - they admitted her very quickly and did a D and C later the same day. An older nurse on the ward told me they only admit you these days if you kick up a fuss - cost cutting, as most women will go on to have a 'normal' miscarriage. Those who don't, will be taken to hospital with all sorts of complications. I have had many miscarriages - admittedly all over 25 years ago, but in those days you were routinely admitted for a D and C, even if 'everything' had come away. If it's of any use in this particular situation, I did go on to have several healthy babies. But I haven't forgotten the ones I lost. OC

Jenny, Not sure what else the dr told her. Sounds like she's had a complete miscarriage and is just waiting for the bleeding to stop. If they did the ultrasound and couldn't see anything then the embryo has already emptied out of the uterus. The concern over infection is if the body does not expel all the tissue, the most common procedure performed to stop bleeding and prevent infection is a D + C. Sounds like she doesn't need this though because the ultrasound was clear. Google miscarriage and treatment to read more. Rose