General Chat

Seventeen years ago today, my mother died, unlamented and she had put a great deal of effort into making it that way over the years.

Having had ten good years, including his coupe of years with his batty old girlfriend, and one day, seven years ago tomorrow, Fred had a major stroke.

Of course, we thought it to be a disaster at the time but, in fact, it has proved to be quite a positive thing. He now has no worries, several of which were a result of things that she had led him to believe of me, and time and support to have as full a life as possible. This is possibly more full than his life before the stroke.

Life is probably more quiet and peaceful and fulfilling than he has known for sixty years. I have less stress than I have ever had.

Very, very sadly Fred's brother, my darling uncle, Bill, also died four years ago tomorrow. I still miss him greatly. Sleep softly lovely man.

Sharron,

Having read this, I find it very touching. You certainly have not had an easy life, but seem to find the courage to make light of what must be difficult at times.You always make me smile when you tell about Fred's antics, many other people feel the same, of course.

It must have been horrendous over the years being at the mercy of your mother, and for your dad too.Good to hear he is able to lead a far happier life now with you, in spite of his physical problems.

Am very sorry to read about your uncle Bill's death.I know what it is to lose a loved one...my beloved aunty who lived with me over here, died in 2006...I still miss her.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Eileen x

Thank you Eileen.

Hope you didn't think I was whingeing. I don't let Fred do it so feel that I shouldn't either.

Can't think of anybody with a perfect life, can you?

I don't think for one minute that you are "whingeing" Sharron, the opposite is true. You always seem to manage to say something cheerful, but I know from first hand experience how hard it is to look after an elderly (much-loved) relative.

You are so wise to keep Fred on his toes, as it were.I used to do the same with my aunty, even though she had ALS, she needed to feel she could still do something for herself- when she could !

No, most people don't live a perfect life, but a lot seem to be unscathed by slings and arrows that a lot of us experience.

Eileen x

I was very resolute about being honest about my mother when she died. People would extend their sympathy to me and I would tell them that it was not now necessary but would have been thirty years before.

I hope I gave others the strength to be honest about their own relationships as many had been trying to keep up the pretence that was expected of them.

It is the same with Fred. He is an awkward, difficult old bugger and always has been. I am not going to pretend that having a stroke has turned him into a sweet old gentleman. And whie we are on the subject, he was a lazy old sod who spent more energy getting out of doing things than he ever did doing them, he knows this, I have told him, and, now he can't do things easily, he has to do them all.

Washing and washing up are innovations since the stroke. I can remember thinking he was washing up once because I could hear the pans rattling. He was actually shifting them to get to the tap because his shed was on fire!

Sharron - Life is never perfect as it is like climbing a mountain, some parts are easy and other parts are difficult, and it is how you face and overcome these that counts.

Fred and you appear to have had more than your fair share of difficulties and have tackled these face on and overcome them. I love following the antics of Fred and his mate and I sincerely hope that you and that old devil Fred will continue to share many more positive times.

My thoughts will be with you tomorrow on the anniversary of the death of your uncle Bill and also with his brother Fred - I know what it is like to lose a much loved uncle, aunt, or brother <3