General Chat

When my Grandmother had my mother adopted apparently she interviewed 4 sets of parents and chose the couple she liked the best. My Mother was adopted through the Church of England childrens Society. Is this a normal procedure. We do have a letter from my real Grandmother to my adopted Grandmother. I would be greatful if someone could help me out , Thank you

It depends on what years and which country ,,,, what can happen is if the child was boarded/fostered and then an agreement is met to adopt,,,,that way each set of parents are known to each other.

Prospective adoptive parents would not be interviewed by the natural parents-

Stories given to adoptees can vary but was often done to make the adoptee feel any less towards natural parent/s perhaps this was the case here ?.or a story can be not so nice of a birth parent/s.

I trained at a CofECS nursery in the late 1960's and never heard of this happening.

Prospective adopting parents would visit & spend a little time with the child, if that meeting went well, depending on the child either there would be a few more before the child went with them or went quickly after.

Occasionally a birth mother or relative would visit to say goodbye/leave letters for the new Mum or one to be given to the child at a later date.To my knowledge this was never at a time when they would meet up with the adopting ones.

At our nursery I know that adopting parents were given a copy of any photo's we had taken, a 'Milestone Book' & any favourite soft toys when the child went home with them.

It was frowned on for us to keep in touch with our nursery children as they started their new lives.

Debbi - have you been in touch with The Childrens Society?

They will have her records and will copy them for you - they just ask for a donation. You will have to offer proof of identification.

I do know the Society fostered children out on long term and if a parent was alive asked if they could contribute to the child's upkeep. I am speaking of 1915 plus.

Thank you al so muchl for these replies. It is very helpful. My real Grandmother told us she had interviewed my adopted grandparents and we have a letter that she sent to them saying she hope they would take care of my mum. Would there be a chance that someone from my adopted family knew my Grandmother and set this up ? or possibly my grandmother maybe feeling guilty told a white lie!!!

If the mother interviewed the prospective parents and then chose the couple to adopt the child then why would there be the need for a letter asking them to take care of the child?

I think that the story was told in order to make they child feel better about being adopted for what ever reason, It could be that the adoptive parents didn't want the child to feel that the birth mother didn't care about her

Roy

SorryIi didnt make myself clear. I have a letter from my Grandmother to my adopted grandmother saying that she had signed the adoption forms and hoped baby would be a credit to them :-(

Debbie, With respect, The letter from the birth mother to the adoptive parents and or for the child when the child is older in my limited experience this is quite normal, But the story told surrounding the adoption based on my research is not.

Roy

No I can see that now. We are stil desperately looking for the Father and trying all avenues . Thank you x