General Chat

Will only interest a few, but here goes.

CATARACT - THE OPERATION

Six half blind chaps in the waiting room,
Nervous black humour takes the floor;
"Roughly one in a thousand goes awry,
Hope they're not on 994".

A nurse picks you off one by one,
Two lots of drops they first apply;
Details and risk signatures certified,
Mark of Cain over the offending eye.

She falls for my mum's favourite joke,
Will I be able to play the violin when it's o'er?
"Don't see why not" she replies;
Good, I couldn't play it before.

The surgeon arrives - why the mask?
Is he a learner in disguise?
More compensation questions,
Ensures the mark has not swopped eyes.

Then its anaesthetic eye-drops,
An Ena Sharples hairnet on your head;
No undressing is necessary,
You simply lie flat on the bed.

An aerated sheet goes over your upper half,
And the operation is begun;
The laser is so gentle,
In 15 minutes the deed is done.

A patch is taped over the damaged eye,
Near to a Cyclop in days of yore;
Tell the nurse she's only half as pretty,
But she's heard that one before.

Wait an hour and you're free to go.
Must have an escort, bear in mind;
Sly squint through the side of your eye-patch,
Eureka - you've not gone blind.

Next morning it's time to remove the dressing,
The High Noon moment arrives at last;
For me, at 80, a slight improvement,
Getting better as three days passed.

The operation is a piece of cake,
So can the other one be done?
"You're bottom of a very long list" -
A five month wait has just begun

--------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading Happy days ;-)

Oh, absolutely brilliant .....Harry ..

well done <3

Well, Harry, glad to see your cataract operation hasn't affected your gift for poetry. I didn't offer my cataract advice as I was probably the one in a 1000 and you asked for messages of hope :-D Well done! BC XX

Thank you Renes. Most kind.

BC - one in a million is what you are. I feel a song coming on,but not to be published.

Happy days

Great poem Harry.
Glad your operation is over and I hope all will be good before too long.

Thanks for that Harry, I look forward to when my
time arrives to get them done :-D

Emma :-)

Harry may I use this?

We have our own independent optical practice
and I would like to include this in our pre surgery counseling. :-D

Happy days

<3 :-)

Thank you all for those kind replies. i do appreciate them.

LadyKira - you are very welcome to use the poem as you see fit. Nobody gave us any counselling - I'm going to sue

Happy days

Brilliant poem......as in, you're a shining light Harry and I love your sense of humour :-D

Mau xx

:-D :-D

Dear Mr Harry

Hello

Hope you are doing well.


As always, absolutely brillant poem.

Loved the bit about the hairnet!! :-)

Take very gentle care
Lots of good wishes
Elizabeth, EOS
xx

Thanks Harry <3

My eye specialist has been "keeping an eye" on a cataract on my left eye.... it's been there for years and hasn't changed much; I expect something will have to be done one of these years.

If you don't mind, I'll copy your poem for her. :-D

She's Indian, living in Australia, so I'll have to explain to her who Ena Sharples is!

:-D

Thank you Harry.

I hope things are still improving.

I am sure you had a little chat with your optician to explain what a cataract is and what would happen in surgery etc.

That is brilliant Harry, as someone who had a cataract operation on his left eye and is waiting to have one done on his right eye it rings so many bells.

I am pleased your operation went well and that things are improving.

The cataract operation on my right eye has been delayed as there is another problem in that eye that needs to be dealt with first :-(

Just one small point Harry.

You used the word laser which is a common misconception.

Scalpel sounds scary

and phacoemulsifier in comprehensible.

Could I just switch the word laser for surgeon for my purposes? :-D :-D

Great one Harry - must send it to my Vicar who has just had his second cataract done and he's only in his 50's.......

Cx :-D

What lovely replies. Many thanks to you all. Nice to SEE messages from old friends.
Lady Kira I originally put a question mark after laser cos when you are under the sheet, you haven't a clue what's going on. Seemed to alter the flow, so i took it out.
Lady Scozz- you're welcome. Half the the residents of this country won't know either -it was a long, long time ago.

Best wishes to you all Happy days