General Chat

Well my daughter was put in a common grave (I was so shocked at the premature birth and her death so soon afterwards that I didn't take in what was happening at first). As soon as I found out that the grave could be opened again and another little coffin put in, I was upset but so pleased when I was told I could buy the burial rights so she would be undisturbed.

Lizx

Been though the same and they wont grant rights because the people are unrelated.......rights are needed before any kind of plaque with a name can be placed there.......a small in loving memory vase is often allowed but carries no name or dates,,,,should other decendants of the 4 deceased come along and wish to do the same can you imagine the carnage,,,,,,,they would need to apply to the grave rights owner for permission to errect a headstone,!this is why they wont grant one prson the rights of a shared plot of unrelated people.

I just got a reminder for the insurance for my daughter's headstone, it gives me peace of mind due to vandalism in the cemetery these days and the fact that the yew tree over her grave has grown to huge proportions but the council won't prune it back any more due to costs. It stops anything growing on the grave now and squirrels eat the cones then throw done the leftovers.

The cost for insurance was £45 incl. tax for five years, and the sum insured is £515 - I assume the company have the right amount for a small child's headstone replacement.

The headstone is small and plain, nothing fancy, just my daughter's name and details, so I imagine a full size one would be way over £1000.

I have the burial rights to the grave, which was a common grave till I bought the rights, but they only last for another 36 years. (75 yrs in all) If I want my ashes put in the grave, my son would have to get permission and I think pay a fee as well.

Hope you can get things sorted out.

Lizx

Wandering around graveyards/cemeteries (as you do ;-) ) several simply wooden crosses have been spotted.

As long as they only record the basic facts of the interred, you're probably right about them being ingnored.

Yes true. As the burials are in Cathays Cemetery (which is huge), we have created a cross for a certain grave and I doubt they would find out. I wanted to contact the owner but they wouldn't give a name and the grave has been forgotten and abandoned so if anyway should be the "owner" it should be my grandfather or me

As a matter of fact, the picture I currently have on the left is the cross we made..

Two examples of different policies.

My grandparents are buried in a small village churchyard near Coventry. After my aunt died in 2002 my sister and I wanted to add her on the memorial on her parents' grave. We were told "Certainly not! Only people in the grave can be on the headstone."

OH's grandparents are buried in a similar churchyard in Lancashire. His father died in 1951 and was cremated in Scotland, but he is on the headstone. When his mother died in 1999 she was cremated in Worthing and her ashes scattered in Scotland. We asked the Lancashire Vicar about adding her to the headstone and were told "No problem."

As other people have said, it is worth asking the relevant authority. You never know your luck.

OK. I thank you all for the help!!!

I had my mums ashes put into a grave which holds a lot of other family member ashes and wanted the grave re done as in cleaned new stones and a memorial part for my mum added .
Depending on local councils you do need to be the owner of grave and you can normally get free quotes from grave makers they also normally know the grave yard and what the rights are needed .

Very good points made Banana2, I would urge you to contact the local authority (council or church depending on where the grave is) as rules may well vary across the country.

Shirley, that is something I never thought of, the the 4 people may not even be related.

the cost of a head stone depends on were you go and how much you want to pay
daughter and me payed £300 for a small head stone for my husband sister that died over 50 years ago age 6 month
as she nether had a head stone there was nothink to mark her grave
my daughter went though the council and thay was very help full

we got the head stone from the internet 3 years ago

edit.... for got to say you dont have to have all the names that are in the grave on the head stone as how one had another baby burried with it

If its an unmarked grave then it may be a public grave so no one has any rights to do anything to it .

Unless you are a direct descendant ie child/grandchild etc., you will probably not be allowed to place anything on a grave years after the events.

And it could even be that if there are no other headstones/markers in the direct vicinity of this grave permission may not even be given then.

Also after some length of time (which I am supposing this to be) the rights could even have returned back to the cemetary owners ie the local council.

You really need to contact the Cemetary Office, to see if they can help or the local council etc., if they own it.

I would not hold out much hope though. And as for costs, just contact any monumental mason and they will be able to give you an idea of the costs of a headstone with 4 names on..... Am thinking a lot of money....

Good point Island.

Rights on a grave can pass outside of a family in some circumstances, so this needs to be established first.
My friend had a nightmare situation, some years ago because of this

http://www.genesreunited.co.uk/boards/board/general_chat/thread/844106

You may find that you need permission from the owner/lease holder of the grave - this may vary with different councils/parishes. Check with the local council or church. You may have already done this but I thought it worth mentioning.
Costs will vary enormously from a few hundred for a small vase to thousands for a large headstone. The engraving will be a reasonable cost on a per letter basis - I'm sure I paid £1 per letter in recent years but again, this may vary from place to place.

There might be restrictions too on which type of stone or what colours are permitted.
Best to check before you make decisions.

Gwyn

No idea - all my recently departed have been cremated!

Contact a local memorial mason for an estimate, and the cemetery for their fees for the erection. The latter might list the erection fees on their website.

There are 4 people buried at this particular grave and I am wondering what the costs are for a Headstone or some kind of memorial...