General Chat

can I say just be grateful you still have him to give you flowers whatever the day -oh how I wish I still had my OH

Rose.
I shall just say, not a lot.

Have tried the weepy bit a couple of times, but next occasion we are back to square one.
I even arranged our wedding to coincide with his birthday so that he would have no excuse for forgetting or ignoring our anniversary.

I guess it comes down to whether the other 362 days with him ( other than Christmas, birthday and anniversary) make up for the way you feel .

I think I know why I'm not married lol.... :-D

Have you tried having a tantrum, or even more, sobbing with disappointment? :-D You never know, Wisechild, but it might work. Men are a funny species :-D <3

Tried that Paula, but he has a tantrum & says that as he´s gone to the trouble of buying me a present (usually the last thing I would ask for) the least I can do is show some interest.
For examle at Christmas, we didn´t have much money, so I asked him to buy me some notebooks & pens (for my research).
What did I get??
A pair of leather gloves which I neither needed nor wanted. :-(

WiseChild.... We actually hide our presents till the day of our birthdays as we both like the surprise. I know it sounds a bitchy thing, but tell him to leave them on the side until tomorrow as you love to open them on your Birthday. If it matters to YOU , then it does matter.

Yes, he knows because I always point out that it´s a day early.
His attitude is that one day is the same as another, so what does it matter.
I never get a card & Christmas is a real bone of contention because he prefers to celebrate 12th night as is the custom in Spain.
Christmas was the festival for me for 60 years, my birthday has been on the same day for 68 years & I don´t see why I have to change to fit in with what he wants......it´s a control thing on his part.
Have suggested celebrating Christmas & 12th night, but he´s having none of it. He sulks all day Christmas Day every year.
Drives me mad.

I know exactly how you feel. My OH has always given me a card the day he buys it. It could be the day before or even earlier. He no longer buys me flowers or presents as he tells me to go out and get what I want.

Trouble is , I feel it's my own fault as I have accepted it all these years and I'm not gonna change him now :-)

Have you told him that it matters to you?

On the build-up to our 25th Wedding Anniversay, I kept dropping hints about where I'd like to go.... Ireland.
I told OH about all the places in Ireland that I wanted to visit and he seemed really keen.

He asked me to keep the whole week free as he had planned a trip... and said that it was for a place that I ( yes me) had always wanted to go to.

Where did he take me?
Venice!
I cannot ever recall mentioning Venice... because I didn't.

I was truly grateful to get away, but I can understand how you feel. <3 <3

I don't think you're being ungrateful, does he know that you feel so strongly?

Some people don't feel it's important to celebrate on the day itself, but if it is to you then he should respect that and make the effort, won't kill him!

For b´day, anniversary, Christmas, OH insists on giving me flowers and/or a present the day before. He says it doesn´t matter, but for me, it means that there is nothing special about the actual day.
It isn´t that he gets the day wrong. It´s more that he decides when to celebrate & I have no say in the matter.
I always make sure that his "special" days are celebrated on the actual day.