General Chat

Woman:
Do you drink beer?

Man: Yes

Woman:
How many beers a day?

Man:
Usually about 3

Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?

Man: $5.00 which includes a tip

(This is where it gets scary !)

Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?

Man:
About 20 years, I suppose

Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5,400 …correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man:
Do you drink beer?

Woman:
No

Man:
Where’s your Ferrari?

I had twelve bottles of whisky in my cellar and my wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink or else!
So, I said I would... and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass... which I drank.

I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with the exception of one glass... which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink, with the exception of one glass... which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass... which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork from the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, glasses and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine.

To make sure I counted them again... they came to seventy-four.

And as the house came by, I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses and bottles and corks and sinks and glasses counted, except one house and one cork... which l drank.

And Ossifer, I'm not under tha affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

:-D

Dermot

LOL :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

sally w <3...........I am hooked

lolol Mr M

I've passed that one on to a friend who is an accountant

:-D