General Chat

Thought this post was going to be about drinking 3 glasses of champagne a week in order to slow down the dementia process. Apparently it has been tried out on rats and they are looking for some 'guinea pigs' over the age of 65 ............now then .....form an orderly queue....but in the mean time continue to answer Barry's post.-jl

Yes Scozz,
As my Mum used to say....
"Never put anything, other than your elbow, in your ear"

Very good. I remember some from my childhood.

Here's one from my father.

Q. Why are fire engines red?

A. (to be read in one breath!!) Well fire engines have 4 wheels and 8 men and 8 & 4 makes 12 and there are 12 inches in a foot and you measure feet with a ruler and Queen Mary was a ruler and the Queen Mary sailed the seven seas and in the seven seas were fishes and fishes have fins and the Finns fought the Russians and the Russians are sometimes called Reds and that's why fire engines are red!

I'm quite out of breath just typing that lot!

I've been in the land of nod, WC, and thus extremely quiet!

Yes, I see that all the replies are from the fairer sex. Thank you, ladies.

However, it's my understanding the gents who tried this got all answers correct.

They really didn't want to post to say so and 'rub it in'.

Simple, really!

Glad everyone (!) enjoyed doing it.

P.S. Good Morning, Everyone!

another impossible thing........

You can't lick your own elbow.

You just tried, didn't you?!!!!!!!!

:-D

You may notice that all the replies are from women & Barry has gone very quiet.

Thank you for This Morning's laugh did try to breath with my tongue out ...daft ? say no more! ....ooops forgot to put it back in no wonder I'm going blue!

i bought a set of magnetic letters to stick on the fridge door,it stops me from snacking and keeps the brain active,each day we make new words and sayings,

wendy(lincs)

So did i.

Thank you, Barry. A lovely start to the day :-D

You may be right there wisechild, I got them all right straight away. :-)

I must be Miss Goody Two shoes then..got them all right....

Don´t worry Barry.
I´m not a smart a..... I´m a woman.
Just goes to prove that women think more logically than men.
Ducks to avoid flying missile ;-) ;-) ;-)

Says you!

Nobody likes a smart a.......!

Well done, WC. You beat me by a mile!

It's yonks since I've seen this lot - and failed miserably AGAIN. Lol.

Very good.
Tripped up on 7 & 11.
Not bad for an oldie eh!!

Come on, GR members, (try to) answer these questions correctly .....

1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. ...What was the third child 's name?

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers....What does he weigh?

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, ...what was the highest mountain in the world?

4. How much dirt is there in a hole ...that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

5. What word in the English Language ...is always spelled incorrectly?

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. ....How is this possible?

7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. ...Why not?

8. What was the President 's Name...in 1975?

9. If you were running a race, ...and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

10. Which is correct to say,... "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, ....how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?




Here are the Answers

1. Johnny 's mother had three children. Thefirst child was named April The second child was named May. What wasthe third child 's name?

Answer:Johnny of course

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

Answer: Meat.

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn 't discovered yet. [You're not very good at this are you?]

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

Answer: Incorrectly

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere

7. In California [where else!], you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures. [Give me strength!!]

8. What was the President of the USA 's Name in 1975?

Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come ON ...]

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one.

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IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD

1) You can't count your hair.

2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.

3) You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out.

Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.

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Ten (10) Things I know about you.

1) You are reading this.

2) You are human.

3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.

4) You just attempted to do it.

6) You are laughing at yourself.

7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.

8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.

9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person and everyone does it too.

10) You are probably going to copy and send this to your friends ro see who else falls for it.

You received this challenge because I didn't want to be alone in the idiot category!