General Chat

Very good Mr Magoo.

Paddy went to confession. "Bless me Father for I have sinned"
"What was your sin my son"
"I nearly committed adultery"
"What do you mean, nearly committed adultery"
"We got undressed and into bed but we never went through with it , so we only nearly had sex".
"Bejasus! that's as good as having sex, nearly does not count, nearly is exactly the same as doing it. 5 Hail Mary's and £20 in the poor box".
Paddy said his Hail Mary's and on the way out he brushed a £20 note on the side of the poor box and went towards the door.
The priest was watching and shouted out, "I saw that Paddy, you never put that note in the box".
"I nearly did", said Paddy, " and that is exactly the same as doing it" !

you are still reading the Joke thread, I see!! ;-)

A man went to church one day and afterward
he stopped to shake the preacher's hand.
He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a
damned fine sermon!"

The preacher responded,
"Thank you, sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity."

The man went on, "I was so impressed with that sermon, I put five
thousand dollars in the offering plate!"

The preacher replied, "No shit?"