General Chat

what would you do if you spotted someone's name here as a new member that 'could' be a relative of sorts but who has deliberately chosen not to be in touch in the past...but is now getting on in years and may be the last chance for contact?

I'm half inclined to send a message to find out, but then if it is 'her' she will then know I am on here, and I will feel 'watched'.

:-S
Have you ever contacted someone and then wished you hadn't?

Tricky one.....................I would sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow.

I have been lucky and only met nice relatives so far :-)

xx

If you have spotted"her" then the chances are you will be spotted too and if they want to make contact then its in their court .

I will do that Kitty

Shirley I suspect not, she may well not know my surname, and I am not certain it shows up anyway.

Have to agree withKitty. Sleep on it.

for me it would depend who it is lol,

defo sleep on it, x

RR

your name does not show when I clicked on your name to send a pm ............. it's Rambling Rose x

The ONLY way I think that she might see your surname would be if she RR'd a post of yours, the RR was upheld by GR, and they sent her an email to say her RR had been successful.

IF your maiden or married surname is showing as your Account Name ............... then that is the name they use in that email .........................


I found that out by pure luck.


Someone RR'd a post of my out of spite (honestly!!), and was so proud of himself that he pm'd me to let me know what he had donem and copied the GR emailhe had rceived.

There was my full maiden name ........... even though I have always had ticked "use Board Name in all communications"


You should have seen the steam arising from my head!!!


GR finally admitted that they do not always use Board names in communications .......... and the only way to prevent them passing on names you wish to remain private is to make sure that they are NOT in your Account Name


Thus my Board Name on here is SylviaInCanada, and my Account Name is Sylvia In Canada


It's a long shot in your case ....................... but worth checking out!




sylvia

as to your other question .................

yes, I have contacted several, and later regretted it.

Thye've all been closely related

all asked me what I knew

I gave all of them selected parts of my tree, ie those branches only connected with them), but I've also told them where and how to find much else.

Got thank you from a couple, but little other contact ............ and nothing from their researches.



Guess who GR keeps matching me with on Hot Tips and Hot Matches????

Rose I had a similar situation on here awhile back.....Like Kitty said sleep on it and see how you feel.

In my case it took a while I even had the person say we were not related when I knew for a fact we were.....now my Mum has a family member she never thought was alive and never thought she would meet.....Time will tell <3

Thanks Sylvia, I was pretty sure that I only show as RR, as it is my account name too. :-)

Thankyou Gwynne, Stray and Mersey :-)

Have pm'd you Rose, cos I can be subtle, and you never know who's lurking :-0 :-P :-P

BUT, I've met 'new' very distant rellies on here, who've been lovely.
One's even a fireman :-D

I would not contact the person, since it is she who chose to have no contact with you, and she must have her reasons for wanting it that way.
Also, as you say, if she knows it is you, she may feel watched and, therefore, less likely to post.
You have the advantage in that you can read her threads, knowing (or suspecting you know) who she is.
:-)

Karen it's no one who has posted, up to now anyway :-)

Ooops, I misunderstood the wording of your opening post ...
"what would you do if you spotted someone's name here as a new member......"
thinking you meant here on the Boards as opposed to here on GR.

Ah well, in that case, as a new member she may not yet know about the boards, so I would bide my time and wait and watch (despite being tempted to make contact)
;-)

K