General Chat

Shirley

My friend is 80 and his wife is 82. No other family, they didn't marry until they were around 50, both for the first time.

She is managing pretty well .......... knowing that she can unload on certain close friends, including me.

That unloading of problems is necessary.

We're going over to visit them next week.

One thing that she has done that has proved very good for her is to get in a lady to clean the house ................. she comes in for 2 hours twice a week. J was finding the housework getting to be a bit too much for her.

She has also found someone to come and work in their garden (it's a large one) .............. both she and her husband enjoy working in the garden, but he is now past the heavy work and she cannot do it alone.

Having the help enables her to keep going, and him to do what he still enjoys.


She is also thinking ahead .................. but is not yet ready to give up the house to move into somewhere smaller, nor to think about future homes for him.

Thank you John , Huia .Sylvia and Liz.

We do hope he can tolerate the higher dosage and it will keep him on even keel for some time.

I hope too I can cope if he becomes worse But then do the right thing for him if the situation becomes unmanageable for both of us,

I read a book called 'Amazing Grace: Enjoying Alzheimer's' by Ray Smith. He wrote about the way he and his wife carried on with their lives when Grace developed Alzheimer's and it's a very moving story. As a carer watching his beloved Grace deteriorate it shows his way of coping and trying to help Grace have as good a life as possible. Quite inspiring and shows there are so many ways to deal with such a life changing illness.

Shirley I hope the medication helps your o.h. for a good while to come and you too can lead fulll lives together as long as possible.

Lizx

Shirley


so pleased to hear that your husband is having this new medication. I hope it helps him


we have a very dear friend who is rather rapidly deteriorating.

He was given the patch earlier this year, and it really did work well for a time, but he has now had to be taken off it because of side effects.


It is terrible to see the deterioration that has happened within the last 2 years.

Ooooh, John, you terrible thread killer you.

Oh no, you havent killed it as I am now adding.

Shirley, I love your attitude. When my OH was diagnosed with cerebral atrophy about 7 years ago he wasnt given any medication. He went into care 3 years ago as I could no longer cope with sleep deprivation, and he was starting to do potentially dangerous things. It was a case of him going into care or me having a mental breakdown, in which case he would have gone into care anyway. The care is marvellous so I can now get on with my life in between visiting him. These boards have helped me so much.

Best wishes for a long and happy life together.

Hope I haven't killed this thread :-(

Very nice thread. Shirley - it is so good that you can share successes and failures with us. It is a subject I know very little about.

But these modern breakthroughs are wonderful, and it looks as if OH can have a reasonable quality of life for a long time to come :-) :-) :-)

Shirley,

I'm so pleased the Medication is helping your hubby ......how I admire you for looking after him.

My FIL had Dementia ....so I have seen it can cause so many problems in ones life .

I often think maybe I may have the same with my hubby as his father suffered , so I listen to everybody that goes through with this terrible decease to learn more about it.

Keep up the good work Shirley ...your doing very well.
:-)

Marilyn x

Thanks all.

In order for the new med to work it needs to be given when the dementia is in its early stages for it to help.

What annoys me somewhat is that I first voiced my concerns to the doc in January and it took months of waiting for appointment's then tests and more waits for tests for him to finally get prescribed in Oct . In the meantime I saw a marked deterioration in his walking and word recall . I know they need to be sure of the diagnosis but Its my hubby they have let get worse :-(

We are both very laid back about it though . have both said he needs to enjoy today and not worry about what might happen tomorrow cos worrying doesn't help and anyway the mind can go into overdrive an imagine things that may never happen anyway. His health visitor said its a very good attitude to have .


Have joked with him that I can see him bombing around on a mobility scooter ringing a bell for everyone to get out of his way lol

My g/aunt had been a Geriatric Nurse and when she developed dementia, from the sound of it she had the somethng similar to your husband.

She was very stoic about it and you would be in the middle of a conversation and she would burst out laughing and say 'oh bugger I have forgotten what we were talkng about'. She would regularly pop to the shop, get there and then forgot why she went out, and they would take her back home.

Eventually her son had to place her in a home (this was back in the 70's). She was well looked after.

The problem with dementia is not always for the person who has it but for those who look after and live with them.

My heart goes out to you and your husband. <3

So glad that the meds are working for him Shirley. I know that the balance thing is bad because following Labrynthitis my balance is a mess. The only thing I can suggest is stay close to walls and no sudden movements which his balance can't deal with quickly. Wish I could come up with something a little more useful.

xx~J

Good news Shirley, so pleased to hear the medication is having the desired effect.

Take care
Carol :-D

Hello Shirley,

That is good news for your OH. My MIL has dementia but hasn't been prescribed anything for it. Probably too late for her.

Thank goodness for medical advancements.

I wish your OH and yourself well.

Susan

That is good news Shirley.
Medication is getting better all the time,so lets hope they can stall the effects of dementia even more.

Brenda x x

my heart goes out to you shirley and your family x :-( :-(

That is brilliant Shirley - let us hope it will become m ore widely available.

I too have tinnitus and it can affect your balance so I sympathise with him But, yes, the hearing aids help to disguise the tinnitus a bit. The stick is a good idea. Good luck to him.

Yes Ann the falls are because of his balance which isnt helped because he has tinnitus too in both ears . he wears hearing aids that do help

He has bought himself a walking stick and is using it when out after his last fall in the street 3 weeks ago unnerved him . people just walked by even though it was only just after 8am and he was outside our front door , He had been to the shop to get the Sunday papers . A jogger saw him and came over and helped him up and helped him indoors

That is good Shirley. I assume the falls are due to his balance? I hope he continues to do well on the meds and that he enjoys many more years of good quality of life.

We went to the Memory Clinic this morning for his follow up appointment.

Has been on the low dose of the new med that is out that treats dementia/ Alzheimer for 6 weeks.

He also has Lewy Body Dementia that gives him Parkinson type balance problems and hand shakes.

Well. he is doing fine. It has been noticed that he is walking better ,not shuffling so much ,and his hand shakes have reduced so the cup doesn't rattle so much in the saucer when he carry's it. not slopping his tea as much when that happens,

He has a patch rather than tablets cos he had digestion problems as a child as well as he has a gastric ulcer which doesn't give him problems cos he has a very healthy diet.

They are very pleased with him and he has been given 3 months supply now of the patch in the maximum dose.

Apparently lots who have this medication do get marked improvements initially cos brain cells that were struggling and dying off get a boost from the med and get back to almost full strength.

He cant be cured or regain the brain cells that have died but he may be able to stay at the current level for many years as the meds slow down the deterioration.

He functions OK looking after his toiletry needs , showering and shaving and getting dressed altho a bit slow. he also does his dishwashers monitor duties OK !!!
Apparently I dont load it correctly so he took it on himself to load and unload it and to set it up on the timer for the overnight wash.

Its his vocabulary that is causing problems to him. he starts to have a conversation and cant remember what he was trying to say .
He has had several nasty falls too which worry me more than his words cos he could hurt himself big time .

All in all though he is doing well for the time being
:-D