General Chat

A couple of Nursing Home jokes, to start with... :-)

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say
"Supersex.." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping
her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the
soup."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An old woman says to an old man at the nursing home, "I can guess your age."
The man doesn't believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try.
"Pull down your pants," she says.
She scrutinises whats on display for a few minutes and then says,
"You're 84 years old."
"That's amazing," the man says. "How did you know?"
"You told me yesterday."she said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. They were afraid that this could be dangerous, as one of them may accidentally forget to turn off the stove and thus cause a fire. So, they decided to go see their physician to get some help.
Their physician told them that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders.
The elderly couple thought this sounded wonderful, and left the doctor's office very pleased with the advice. When they got home, the wife said, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And why don't you write that down so you won't forget?"
"Nonsense," said the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream!"
"Well," said the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries on it. You better write that down, because I know you'll forget."
"Don't be silly," replied the husband. "A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. I can remember that!"
"OK, dear, but I'd like you to put some whipped cream on top. Now you'd really better write it down now. You'll forget," said the wife.
"Come now, my memory's not all that bad," said the husband. "No problem-- a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream." With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him.
The wife could hear him getting out pots and pans, and making some noise inconsistent with his preparing a dish of ice cream, strawberries, and whipped cream.
He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later. Walking over to his wife, he presented her with a plate of bacon and eggs.
The wife took one look at the plate, glanced up at her husband and said, "Hey, where's the toast?"

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Actually the aged 84 joke should read




"you've got 84 ring-kles on your ole man!!"

And I counted them yesterday!

Yes, Bob. But that would have been rr'd :-)

Off to have some soup before bed. Leek and potato :-(

Not yet it hasnt!!

It must be the way you tell 'em :-D

Or rr'ers are reading JC's OP and are p*ssing themselves too much to get to the button :-S