General Chat

No wise words of advice to give you Kim, she trusts and loves you, so just love and trust her back and never stop being you, as that is just what she wants and needs.

Martyn ..
Sue ...
thank you so much for replying. I love this person to bits and I am so scared I will let her down when the end eventually comes.She is so calm about the news at the moment
We have talked honestly tonight about the results of the biopsy.. it's a done deal , terminal but I want to get this right for her...
I am still so bloody angry at the moment ..

don't delete - I think you also will need a lot of support and I'm sure I speak for all of us on here when I say we will be here for you

Ann XX

LOVE TO YOU MY FRIEND
XXXXXXXXXXXX

I went through this with my husband - he was diagnosed with an incurable non-treatable rare lung disease and after a biopsy to confirm what it was the prognosis was no more than five years - actually it was less than a year - very difficult to deal with, so much so that we really never discussed it because it was too painful - no one would believe he was dying s he looked fit and well - nothing prepares you to deal with such an eventuality

How to deal with a friend - that's a toughie too - she's obviously well aware of what's to come and seems you are going to be her support through it all - I have a quirky sense of humour and find that helps in dire situations

I hope you can muster the strength to see her through this - you obviously have a wonderful friendship and I have a feeling you will do fine - everyone should have a friend like you to turn to in their hour of need

Ann XX <3 <3 <3

just lost my SIL i also went through school with her,she was only 54,same as your friend,she had it in her lung's ,throat, liver & brain,she had chemo ,lost her hair and in the end she had a stroke and went down hill very quickly,less than 2 week's after the stroke.
just listen ,love,cry, whatever come's day by day,she will let you know what her wishes and hopes are each day just be there,i was applying face cream & body lotion's to my SIL while she was laying on her hospital bed,it made her feel a little happier for a short while,
if she is a lady who likes make up etc,maybe a manicure or some beauty treatment will lift her spirit's,
it will be very hard to see her getting frail, this will be when she will need you most,

positive thought's for you and your friend,

sue

Muffy .. I want to kick the s*** out of something at the moment , but the end result is about what she wants me to do..My feelings don,t come into this, we have a 6 month window at the best to work her wish list..
We discuss funeral arrangements .. then we discuss a wish list .. then we discuss me taking care of her adult children when she is gone..making sure they are OK plus her OH. She is like a sister to me and I want to do this the right way
She can't do this with her family .. and I am going to be there all the way. for her.
Perhaps I should delete this thread .. stupid and daft to post this on here
I feel so angry and totally flamin helpless

Yes...and I also have a friend who is going through the same thing with a family member as i type.

Keeping it light always good.

But then my dark sense of humour was in tune with the person whose hand I was holding. You'll know how far you can take the black humour (if that's your thing) or the gentle joke...because you're her best mate. Trust your instincts.

Just be the friend to her you've always been..that's why she is confiding in you.

But please dont be afraid to confide in a 3rd party to cry or shout it out of your system ...whichever helps should you need to...

you need to stay strong in yourself to be able to help her.....you are allowed your own weak moments.

Good luck hon. x

My best friend of 12 years who also lives next door has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, This has only happened over the past 2 weeks .. prior to this she was fine. We thought she was having a stroke but the results show the lung cancer not diagnosed has migrated and apart from other areas she has a brain tumour
The biopsy results came back today and we are looking at 3 to 6 months max ..
She is my best friend and I am there for her all the way.
She says I am the only person she can be truly honest with . We have discussed funeral arrangements , but I keep it light.. we have wish list we are working on
I just wonder if anyone on GR has had to deal with this situation and if they can help me to get this right
PS she has asked that will bethe carer when things get bad