General Chat

In the paper recently Jamie Oliver's wife admitted to checking his e mails regularly, and he knows she does it.

We have separate computers, I never look at his e mails, even though I could when he's out, we don't open each other's mail either
He only reads my e mails when I forward something to him. He doesn't text.

Relationships can be rebuilt Roy and not all go on to have further affairs, it doesn't do to generalise.

I wonder if anyone on here, would admit to it if they did :)

i remember (a few years ago) overhearing two women talking about husbands....both men were dedicated radio control aircraft modellers.....

one woman was saying about how much time he spent, building and flying his models........the other came back , in a similar vein.....but added
something like

" In a way I wish it were another woman, at least i could compete with that , but models............no chance"

Bob

OH's emails are either about work or golf! I tell him when he has emails, but I don't read them. He only reads my emails when I tell him it's from a certain person, or it's a funny one.

He wouldn't look in my handbag either - he calls it the Tardis.

Geez, if you don't or won't trust your other half - why get married??

My bag is so big and full of junk something could pull him in at any moment so my oh definitely won't touch it

If people want to have another go at making their relationship work after one or both partners had had an affair then thats up to them and yes trust can be built up again but that's not to say that another affair will not happen in the future and lessons learned first time round makes it easier to hide the signs of an affair at a later date?

As for needing a reason for divorce and citing infidelity their are plenty of other ways of getting divorced unreasonable behaviour is very popular but even simple things like having no common interests or pursuing a separate social life are enough

Roy

I also will never look in a ladies handbag under any circumstances

I was about to ask if this is the same woman we are all insanely jealous of *smirks*.
I think she is either an extreme bunny boiler or she is desperate to be famous. She'll turn up on Celebrity *double smirks* Big Brother - mark my words :-0 :-D

My fella won't go in my bag either, always brings it to me. He doesn't pass it by the handle either, he clutches the top as if he thinks something might leap out and bite him LOL

Well enough said :-D Likes to be a little controversial but comes across as rather silly.

That's the one Sue lol x

My OH won't delve into my bag even when I ask him to pass me my phone or purse.

Is the woman who snoops into her husband's email and phone the same woman who is just so gorgeous all other women are jealous?

LOL Dawnie...my OH won't look in my bag either..even if I say *it's in the middle* he still plonks it on my lap and makes me find whatever it is he's after......x

i dont have to check as he doesnt know how to text and doesnt have a clue how to use email.

He gives me his post to open and I have no probs with him opening mine. One thing he doesnt do is go in my handbag if I need something out of it he always passes it to me even if i say go in it.

I'd blame my husband far more than I would blame the *other woman*...as Cat says...HE is the one who made the promises to me....not her.

I'd have to have very strong indications elsewhere that all wasn't well before I started nosing into his personal stuff....I'm not at all the jealous type so it would most likely have to be staring me right in the face before I even started to think anything was amiss lol..x

That's a good point CAT.

Roy - trust can be built up again. Many relationships get through affairs and their relationships are stronger than ever.

Sue, I do think the women who chose to have affairs with married men do need to take responsibility for their behaviour and I question their morals. When it comes down to it though it's the man who has made a commitment to his wife/partner.

Roy, sometimes someone is right not to trust their partner. As I said earlier, often when confronted the cheater will initially deny the affair so evidence it needed, especially if you're going to cite infidelity in the divorce.

I frequent another forum that has a relationships board. There are many threads on that board where the poster has found out that their partner has had an affair. The one thing that the majority of these threads have in common is that they seem to follow some sort of script. Firstly denial then only admitting to what they think they can get away with. There's more to it than that but in essence they all continue down the same path.

Never,dont even open letter mail of each others.

I have no reason to check his phone or even snoop his PC......all I can say about her,she is so insecure and no confidence in her relationships that shes will only destroy them.

Two reasons for people to check their partners email/phone

1, They don't trust their partner
2, They are hiding something and assume their partner is doing the same

people can dress it up as they like (I trust my partner but not other people)
If you trust your partner then other people are irrelevant.

Without trust you have not got a relationship so get a divorce and move on

Roy

I agree CAT - surely these men have some self-control. However some women will definately blame other women just as some women will say that they don't feel shame about seeing a married man because his wife doesn't deserve him. What's that about?

I would never snoop into a partner's/husband's emails/phone unless I had a strong suspicion he was cheating on me. Then I would do it to gather evidence because from my knowledge of other people's experiences many cheaters would deny deny deny unless presented with evidence.

What got me most about that article was that she said she doesn't trust other women. Quite frankly if I were her husband I'd find that insulting. Her husband is an adult male with a mind of his own, nobody could 'steal' him. If he cheats on her then it will be because he chooses to do so.

It never fails to amaze me the capacity some women have to blame other women when their partner/husband cheats on them, absolving their p/h of all blame.

i would never have to do this and he would never do this to me :-D