General Chat

cleanest one i could find to post.

Subject: Must be a Blonde


Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning:
"Windows frozen."

Husband texts back:
"pour some luke warm water over it."

Wife texts back:
"computer completely buggered now."

This is a silly little joke but always makes me smile


A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and says: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

:-)

A plane was taking off from Mascot Airport.
After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your
captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number XYZ, non-stop from
Sydney to Auckland... The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we
should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax--
ARGHHHH! OH, MY GOD!' Silence followed and after a few minutes,
the captain came back on the intercom and said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but, while I was talking, the flight
attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap.
You should see the front of my pants!' A passenger in Economy said,
'That's nothing..... He should see the back of mine!'

AnnCardiff,I don't go on Quizzes and games

Minihousenut and Porkie pie..love them..

Sue

Not forgetting the original threadkillers thread..........
or Pilgrim Fathers'........

what a shame that the "women" thread bit the dust!!

This one is only funny to small boys like me

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"


Roy

old lady opens door to salesman " madam may I demonstrate the new superturbo vacuum cleaner?" "Not interested, got no money" she replies. Not to be outdone the salesman produces a large bag of horse manure and procedes to tip it all over her hall carpet. "If my cleaner doesn't pick up every bit then I'll eat the rest myself" The woman looks him up and down then says " Shall I fetch you a knife and fork, me electric was cut off yesterday!"

How did you know I was about to open Sues thread Wend? :-S :-0

just in case you don't know, there is a long running joke thread on Quizzes and Games :-D

Hee, hee, that just about sums me up :-D

Wags finger at Island - no, you stay away from this thread :-0

Off to think of a good joke that won't get me banned >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

If My Body Was a Car!

This is just too funny - scary how true it is!!!

If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull... But that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it, Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter,either my radiator leaks or My Exhaust Backfires!

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Fed up of not seeing funny jokes on here..