General Chat

It is hard Uzzi, devastating.
We go through life knowing the word but not really knowing the implications.
Then it hits. Big time.
Then we think 'why am I so unprepared for this?'
'Why hasn't anyone ever told me about this?'
Eventually we think 'why would I burden the young and carefree with this sort of knowledge?'
You feel alone but you come to find you are not.
It's a massive learning curve but you will cope.
Be kind to yourself and accept help.
Don't try to cope on your own, you are no good to anyone if you wear yourself out. <3

Its very hard when you love someone .but they dont know who you are .your mum is in her own world .just be there when you can but dont get to upset .the relatives are the one in pain .as they can see how people use to be .My Dad had altziemers & i looked after him he lived on his own .at first .went to day care had home care in .but there comes a time when they need 24/7 care .I visited him every day .but i went home knowing he was safe & cared for .Take care Uzzi one day at a time .laugh with your mum remember the good times (((((hugs ))))))) to you All Barbra

One thing I will say to you Uzzi is be kind to yourself, you won't always do and say the right thing so don't beat yourself up about it.

One of my mothers carers said to us not to worry about correcting mom when she got mixed up about things as it just made our visits with her more stressful so quite often I became her sister or cousin or whoever she thought I was at that time. This was quite late in her dementia so further on than your Mum .
I hope that your mum stays well and that you can continue to laugh about the trials that may be ahead for you both. as I use to say to my friends If I don't laugh about things I'll cry and I don't look good crying.

Good luck.xxx

Uzzi...you must realise now that all she has said to you she did'nt mean!! That does'nt make it any easier l know, but it was'nt really your mum.

My lovely friend has alzheimers, diagnosed aged 55yrs approx.....its not her anymore and l don't really want to see photo's of her as she is now. l want to remember as she was. For you that is different l know, but maybe the time has come where you need to find a residential home for her and you can visit and try and take the strain and stress from you.

Take care.

jude xx

Get stuck into the practicalities. My dad shipped in a batty old bird. We had always known her and her husband died at about the same time as my mother did.

She needed looking after, she had already propositioned the vicar, and the old man needed somebody to look after.

She kind of moved in, although her home was down the road and he looked after her until she was sectioned.

Make sure you can contain her if needs be, otherwise you will be constantly chasing around the district after her. Little things like making sure she can't use the kettle alone or put on a pan when you are not watching. You will soon find you are too busy keeping her in sight and safe to have time to worry about the emotional bit.

Sadly Huia. it´s my mother I am talking about ..it would be easier if it was me cos I would just forget again.

Oh well

Its very hard. There stand a person that you recognise, but you no longer know. Everything they stood for has changed, what they are is completely different to what they were.

Its even harder when you loved the person they were but find it hard to love the person they have become.

I think thats okay, Dont feel you have to - sometimes you just cant.

Take one da at a time, and just get throught it. I truly believe a person with dmentia doesn't realise what they have become.

(( hug))..... its hard

Good advice Sue, I'd say the same and add, take all the help on offer.

The only advice I can offer is:

Mourn the personality that has left and celebrate the one that has arrived.

Sue xx

Are you talking about your mother, Uzzi, or yourself?

Huia.

when somebody says it's dementia.
So how do you cope?

You don´t to begin with, because it may be wrong, they say you are not alone but you are. It´s only you can make you believe.
You find yourself saying it´s difficult and it is. It´s hard and bruteful and totally spiteful. You make excuses for their behavour even to yourself, but sooner or later you have to listen to yourself.
It is difficult and it is heartbreaking and yes you are alone. It´s your decision to understand.
Once you have then every other person either knows a dementia person or has a relative. Do listen to them and allow the friendship that they offer.
Will it make it easier, probably not but it will help eventually.

So how do you cope ...me I have no answers I will let you know eventually when (not if) I get through this.