General Chat

**shuffles nervously from 1 foot t'other **

Why shouldnt I of done :-0

*nervous twitch....Hayley, you didn't....er....smoke them did you by any chance? :-0 :-0

Throws self at BC mwahhhhhhhh <3 <3 <3 <3

ereee Ive bin eatting the herbs and seeds you sent me for me breakfastdont taste like much but Ive been off on me way to work very very happy :-D

:-D :-D *hugs Hayley :-D <3

That wasnt bullying BC TSK that was just er..........passing comment...

maybe thats my trouble being far too polite and calm I just attract them like a moth :-S

No, I can honestly say I have never been bullied...except by Hayley when she found out I went out with two odd shoes. But otherwise? No, I would never allow that.

Evening all,

Never been bullied in real life or on here.
If anyone even attempted to bully me in real life they could expect a swift response, same goes in cyberland.

Never allow yourself to be bullied, only cowards bully.

George :-)

Never had a bullying PM,.. had some 'interesting' ones late at night , that kept me amused for hours :-D
RESPECT to the senders, they brightened up my evening LOL
I give as good as I get but I can understand some people are far more reserved and polite than I am when it comes to receiving this kind of thing and that it can be upsetting.

Ann, exactly :-)

5exy my very good friend went through the same thing, went to hell and back , threats post sent to their address contacting other family members, untill the police was brought in, it only stopped with a restraining order.

Maggie Sadly your dilemma is not unfamiliar, I have seen and heard many times higher management accuse their staff of wrong doings and mistakes because they couldn’t do their job correctly

I've never been cyber-bullied, as others have said - there is an on/off switch.some have tried - but I'm very strong with the written word.
However, some people seem unaware that there is a person at the end of those written words. There are ways of disagreeing, and there are ways of disagreeing......

Having said that - I have been bullied in the 'real' world. Not as a child, when, considering our family lifestyle - moving around a lot - having the wrong dialect, living in a caravan etc- I was ripe for it, but any attempt was brushed off. I am no wimpering wallflower, I am willing to confront unfairness and 'tough' people who are under the misconception that, because I'm small, I must be 'victim' fodder etc

I was bulllied 4 years ago, when my line manager (ironically smaller than me!)and I were the only people in an office. She would accuse me of making mistakes that she'd made and report this to higher managers etc
However, I was more au fait with the system we were using than her- she didn't know I knew how to see who had put information onto the system - and thngs got worse when I pointed this out to her!
She allowed managers to make written comments about my work - but I wasn't allowed to point out that I was only given half the information I needed etc. She started accusing me of lots of things I never did, and talking to me like I was a piece of sh*t.
I thought I was slightly paramoid, until a temp came to work in the office, who pointed out that it was her - not me!!
Then another temp was horrified at her attitude/behaviour etc- god I felt good!!

The problem was, at the time, to accuse a line manager of bullying - the accuser was apparently at fault, and could be sacked (this is in the public sector), but help was at hand - the person suffering from the bullying(ie me) could go for counsellling!!
BUT - I didn't have the problem - SHE did!!

Came to a head when it was noticed I was absent from work most Thursdays (I could only take so much).
Capability procedures commenced -which could have led to dismissal.

I just handed over a copy of the 'diary' I had been keeping (excusing the language - it wasn't meant for public consumption)
I also mentioned that both temps would write a statement if wanted.

Nothng happened to me. BUT, the whole procedure was changed. The bullied were suddenly not the ones at fault - they weren't offered counselling- they weren't threatened with dismissal for accusing someone higher up.

I no longer work with the 'poisoned dwarf', I'm in an open office.

I no longer keep a 'diary,' - there is no need - but I still have my original one.- on my computer - computers can be wonderful......... and 'they' know it.....

Yes Cyber bullying does go on, & on here too. Many members have left this site because of it. I myself have been cyber bullyed by many on here. I decided that their vitriol was down to their inadequacies...not mine. The people doing it don't even know me or anything about me. Yet they are happy to make up lots of untrue things about me. The thing is they took it into the real world by threatening my life, phoning people I knew, & sending things through the post & other thigs. Maybe it's because I have a life & they don't.
Any way yes it happens, No it's not nice, & the people that do it are not bright. I have been on this site for seven years seen many things & I'll be around here a long time yet. :-)

Suzanne stand up and be counted
show them your made of stronger stuff by ignoring them
and dont let anybody make you feel down
remember your better than them x

No cause in cyber land opinions of me by others matters not a jot.
and bullying in cyber from strangers is not the same as bullying behaviour in real life where it is real and matters.....its a word bandied about on here far too often in the wrong context.

an unkind PM is only sent because the other person hasnt got a high enough intelligence to do otherwise,,and PMs can be swept along into the ether.

Suemaid,,,,,,,,,hello lady........missed you. ;-) ;-) ;-)

Cat, yes it is degree isn't it. Somebody can say 'no you are wrong' aggressively, that is just because they don't know how to debate assertively. But somebody else can call people names, threaten to find their house and attack them etc. All this can be on line. the first is not bullying, the second is. And your own personality comes into it. If you are tough you will ride it out. If you are vulnerable or fragile it will affect you more. That is why we see cases of children affected by bullying on line, although theirs is made worse by the fact that it carries over into 'real life'.

lol Stray :-D

I do believe that there can be cyber bullying. However, it's all to easy to accuse someone of bullying just because they post an opinion that is in direct opposition to the one someone else has just posted (this isn't directed at anyone btw)

33 actually :-P

iv have had nasty pm's and vile messages sent, as well as some horrible thing said about me, some true some not lol, but i was never bullied, as i was never afraid to come back,

i have to agree with muffy, the word bully is bounded about far to freely on here and does take away from people who really have been bullied, a difference of opinion or name calling is not bullying.

some people take cyber world as real life, and its not, if ya dont like somthing turn off or go to a different website.

and yes we will never agree with hayley that she is 29 an a 'alf :-P


~~~~~ to everybody ;-)

In answer to the original question....yes l have been bullied in the cyber world, l ended up on anti-depressants!!.....l wish l been as strong as some of you and ignored it, but l can promise you it was horrible!!

jude :-0

It is a sign of the times that people think they can say what they like to somebody on line, whether or not it is nasty, hurtful, untrue. Or even if it is true and they shouldn't say it. Probably if you met these people in real life they would be cowed and timid and afraid to say boo....! It gives them a sense of power to attack and try to hurt. The best weapon is not to respond but to ignore (ok, that is difficult, it is human nature to fight back.) And I don't think I agree that it is not bullying. If somebody feels threatened, hurt etc by somebody else, whether or not they should, maybe because they are unused to such treatment or they are ultra sensitive; then that person is feeling bullied.

If it is just on the boards and is a violent disagreement you shouldn't feel bullied Suzanne, if it is by PMs attacking you, where others can't see, then I can see where you are coming from. But the solution is in your hands. forward the messages to GR and ask for the person to be blocked.


Some of us are stronger and more resillient than others so will feel differently and we should all remember that when we phrase posts on here. However, I thought things were a lot better now than they were a year or so ago.