General Chat

LOL tempest.
We 'oldies' have our uses too!
Grand daughter needed some boots for the 'Victorian' day they were having at school.
Daughter brought her round to my house, where she found a 'suitable' pair.
Three months later, I still haven't had them back - apparently they're really trendy!!
Oh - and I'm in my 50's!!

When my daughter was three she was being taught to swim by her grandfather in the grandparents pool. She had goggles, snorkel and flippers and was very busy in the water. When she got out she said to her grandfather " I swam very well didn't I Poppy with my testicle? "

Poppy kept a very straight face and said yes dear, until he came inside and told us.

Persie xx

My son was 7 when my Dad died in a hospice after suffering with cancer. I think my son had realised how poorly his Grandad was as he wasn't really upset when I told him Dad had died. I asked if he wanted to go to the hospice to see Grandad and explained it would be his body left behind but that the bit that made him Grandad was gone to a nice place, usually known as heaven. When we got there (Mum had been visiting him so was still there) the nurses asked if we would like to say a prayer at the bedside and we went in with my Mum and one of my brothers where the nurses had drawn the curtains round the bed. My Dad had his mouth open and my son asked why he hadn't closed it. The nurse explained that she would tie a bandage round to close it after we had gone, and as we went out of the hospital my son said Oh Grandad does better goldfish impressions than me! We all burst out laughing, it really helped stop the tears.

A while later when my son was still attending Sunday School, he told me he was confused. He said at school they told him about the ozone layer but at Sunday School they told him it was heaven up above us, so which one was it? I passed the buck and said he should ask the teachers lol Not sure he ever got a real answer tho.

Also when he was about five, he was learning to tell the time and had a watch of his own. He said one day I wish I had two watches, so I asked why. He said Then I would have twice as much time !
I sent that one off to a woman's magazine and won a tenner or something as the letter was published lol

Kids are brilliant with the things they come out with.
A little lad I childminded walked on cobblestones one day, he said I don't like those wobblestones, they make my bones wobble!



Lizx

Thank you.Keep them coming. There do make you laugh.

I am looking after Caitlin at the weekend, so will have to remember any that she said.

Hazel

Caitlin just gave me a sweet, she had two in her hand, and said thats good sharing isn't it mummy, i said but u have two and i have one, then she said u should be thankful u have one. cheeky mare!! pmsl.

Caitlin said this to her mum today

Hazelx

A friend of mine was pergnant with her second child and her 4yr old son said " if I look in your belly button can I see the baby?"...

Jules x

My 3 year old grandson loves cheese - and will try any once -and as hs dad's a chef and also has a love of cheese - he's tried some very unusual ones.
Last week, my daughter gave him some fairly average vintage cheddar.
Upon offering him a second chunk,he said :
'No thank you, mummy, that cheese punched my tongue!'
What a fantastic description of a cheese!! LOL

Hmmm my little daughter was on her way to a birthday party of a friend's son. Now he is a solid, quite tall 9 year old lad. Last month we went to his older sister's birthday.

Madam was obviously a bit confused about why we were going again. Partner helpfully explained that it was just because of the order they popped out in.

From the backseat silence then ...Oh a BIG pop then was it!

:-)

A friend of mine has an 8 year old, he was moaning that he didnt like his toys and said they were all 'gay' My friend said to him 'if you say that again I will wash your mouth out. His reply was 'no Mummy you only have to wash my mouth out if i say S**t.!!!!

Julia (In Cambs)

When my eldest was small there was a tv programme called Greyskull, my little man pulled a play sword from his waistband and proclaimed very loudly, "by the power of playschool" !!! I still chuckle about it 18 yrs on.
When he was quite a bit older,he had to take his birth certificate and passport with him to his basic army training, i asked him if he would bring them back on his first leave, as i had no proof he was mine otherwise, to which he replied, "mother you have the stretch marks to proove it'!! Still not chuckling at that one !!! =I

One of our seven grandkids Owen refers to me and wendy as grumpy grandad and nanny tut-tut, and told me to liven up its not called baby-sitting anymore its childminding

I love this thread, when my daughter was young she went to the corner shop to spend her pocket money, the shopkeeper laughed when I went in and said she had asked for a bar of bubbles wrapped in chocolate, a**o bar.
Still don't know whether to laugh or be insulted by my son, when he was young he was into dinosaurs and asked me which dinosaurs were still living when I was young.

Caz

When my daughter was young, she was playing with her brothers had a stick in her hand and was piggybacking on my elder sons back. Quite a few people were about and she called out " I'm a shiting farmer". What she really was trying to say was "I'm a knght in shining armour" the looks on the faces of the people around had me taking cover. I also remember she could never say the name of a small supermarket which was called Shoppers Paradise, she always called it Paras shopperdise and a car park was always a parkark.But I think the best one was while we were at the seaside she would be about 4. She was watching people out on a lake in rowing boats and she turned to her dad and said can I go oaring daddy, his reply was not yet, wait while you're older (enourmous grin on his face). Elaine.

I hope this isn't too rude but it is something my son said when he was young.We had just moved into our new house ,and my daughter was putting her books onto her shelf.She chucked one out and said her brother could have that one.It was a Claire Rayner book on sex education .My son after looking at it ,came to me and said "Mum, you better tell Dad this will happen".It was a cartoon type pic of a man with an erecti**.lol.He is now 25.I must ask him if he remembers telling me that !( hope that hasn't offended anyone)

I love em gives us all a smile keep em coming :D :D :D Elaine

When my eldest grandson was three I said to him when we arrived at his house.'hello darling how are you?' He replied 'I not darling, I C****'.


I was told by my Mum that when I was tiny I was playing in the big bath (as opposed to the small one in front of the fire). I must have been making 'waves' and got my face splashed. Mum said I said to the water 'stop it'.

We used to go walking with daughter SiL and the three grandsons when they were younger. One day out walking (I was about 60ish, OH was walking with second eldest grandson, aged about 11. I clmbered over a stile and apparently J said to OH.'seriously, 'Nana's a one off isn't she?'