General Chat

Hello Ron,

As your thread has just resurfaced, I have read your original post for the first time......how lovely to see you have started to enjoy your life once again and spending time with your much loved family.

My dad lost my mum several years ago, they were away on a cruise celebrating their 51st wedding anniversary......she never came back to her home after being flown to the UK. My dad was devastated as well as being in shock.......to watch him go down hill over the next year was crushing for myself and two brothers, like you he slept most of the day and could not muster much energy for anything, until we sat him down and told him how WE were feeling at the sudden loss of our lovely mum and how much WE were hurting seeing his decline. I think it was a bot of a jolt for him, he then dusted off his camper van and drove to Portugal to meet with their friends as they usually did. I was so proud of him! He is 81 this year and has a new lady in his life who shares his joy for travel, and although I know she will never replace my mum in his heart.......he has now a good & full life.

So there is light at the end of the tunnel, it just seems a little dark sometimes. Please take care of yourself & enjoy your lovely family!

Annx

Bless you Ron.

The "firsts" are always the worst to get over. Birthdays, Christmas, Anniversaries etc.

Your children, grandchildren and gr grandchildren are all "Mavis". She lives on in all of them and will always be with you. I bet you can see some of her in all of them.

My first husband was taken from me after only 12 years of marriage but I can see so much of him in my two sons, now both of them in their late twenties.

I am so proud of all three of them as you must be in your Mavis and your children.

You and your Mavis will live on and your love will endure.

Love and hugs. xx

hi ronald
i know just how you feel after i lost my mam and best friend.
i was given some advise at the time which has really helped me now end,so i thought i'd pass it on.
i was told to buy a miniature rose of the colour she would like,and when i feel down go and talk to it.i know this sounds daft but it has helped me no end.i even give it a right odd row now when it has weeds,and think of my mam laughing at me as we used to have rows like it.you can tell it thinks that only you and you wife could talk about.
i hope you get back on your feet soon but remember she's always with you . best wishes lynne

Well done Ron at facing things and making that trip, I am sure it meant a great deal to your family too to see you shaking yourself up and visiting loved ones, I bet your Mavis was with you all the way and was making sure you got your sleep pattern back on track too.

Now make the most of the brighter longer days coming and get out a bit when you can, maybe find a club you can join or a class or something, where you can make new friends who will understand how you feel but will enrich your life in a new and different way.

All power to you and if you should feel down, and of course you will have difficult days, do come and talk to us again, in fact, come and let us know how you are getting on anyway. Who knows, you might be just the person around at a time someone else needs an ear and a shoulder, cyber or not!

All the best
Lizx

Cant believe nearly EIGHTEEN months has gone by since My Mavis took her leave and has now gone on to become a loving memory in the hearts of all those she gave her heart and love to so freely.

With the passing of time, I've begun to understand that inside the protective blanket of my immediate (and "outlaw") family I am just one of number who miss her so much in our own special way. My family, bless them, have been brilliant by just doing things as they did when their mother and grandmother was alive.

I talk to others as though she was looking over my shoulder, I smile at her pictures, (and there's at least two in every room in the house) and I'm sure she smiles back when I "burn the toast" so to speak. I, wrong, WE find it a lot easier to talk about her and have got to the stage where what she did, said, or got involved in has brought smiles and some tears to all our faces; me most of all.

Miss her, of course I do and always will even though there are times I wake during the night and occasionally put my hand out to touch her. She was and always will be the most important thing that happened in my life, and we still talk. Yes I know, perhaps I do the talking and she does the listening nowadays, and that cant be a bad thing (uh hum, sorry love I didn't really mean that).

Anyway, to all of you who gave me your words of hope, your time and understanding, it's helped me along no end, so thanks a lot,...... NO........ thanks a million!!!!!!!

Here's just a couple of real tear jerker's I've had to "endure".
One grandson, without knowing it, decided to get married on 25th September, the date I first met my wife, how strange cos I never told him about that date. The second was when another grandson got married and tied an Everton scarf to a vacant chair and mentioned Mavis in his speech. Can't fault the boys, they were brilliant. (Everton were Mave's team)

I've just cast a glancing eye on her picture and smiled at her. She approves of what I do, when I do it now; if she didn't, I'm sure she'd tell me.

Once again, thanks and big hugs to all.

Ron

Dear Ron
I have just read this for the first time, and from your first entry.
I have not lost a spouse from death but I did loose my first husband through divorce..

Mavis will be with you for ever, for true Love does not end when someone leaves you but continues forever, through your children, grandchildren etc.

I feel that Mavis will be ebbing you on all the time, guiding you to do what she knows is good for you, and when the right time comes you will be with her again.

You have wonderful children and grandchildren and I expect that you see Mavis in them every day. enjoy every moment of every day.


Your openess, your way of writing is also an inspiration to others, and I hope perhaps others,but particularly men will feel able to do the same. So often the bereaved, and especially men feel that they should manage the grief alone.

Bridget in Spain

07.18 hrs

Ron,
I am so pleased that you have reached a level of acceptance. I am sure that your Mavis would be so proud of how you have coped. Keep watching those photos, one day you may see a wink of approval as well as the smile. Bless you and thank you for the update. stay in touch.

Thank you for the update Ron, so pleased that you are coping well and adjusting to your "new" life without your very special person beside you.

Take good care

Annx

I have read this for the first time Ron and I'm happy to learn that you're now at peace with yourself,and the picture you describe of your grandsons' weddings has made me smile.

The many years you spent with your Mavis will have given you beautiful memories to cherish,a blessing not everyone can receive.

Can I send my best wishes and love to you and your family
Mau (X)

Hi Ron,

Mavis would be proud of the way you are coping and even more proud of the grandsons who paid such touching tribute to her as they did. I bet Mavis had a hand in helping your grandson decide on his wedding date!

I am sure she enjoys hearing from you as you find comfort in talking to her and those smiles you see are for you and you alone.

Keep up the good work, be positive, be friendly to those you meet outside, you never know if someone else is hurting inside too and a smile or hello can help someone's day go better for your effort and make you feel good too.

When the time comes, I am sure Mavis will have the kettle on ready and while it's boiling, she will come to help you move on, but the time's not yet, you have a family who love and need you still.

Stay well and enjoy life as much as you can

Lizx