General Chat

jealious(sp) teenager...................have been ask by my a mate as what to do shes was in on the phone tears.......................me i haven`t a clue..........can you help.

jealous of who or what?

The daughter is jealious of the mother doing things with the father.

X

you mean the teanager has got to the age of
wanting to be queen of the castle

you put your foot down before things get worse

Thank you Joy will tell my mate this.

tell her to mind her own business and get on with her homework and I would advise your friend to keep the noise down when the kids are at home.

Oh Hayley you do make me laugh.

x

its called alfa female syndrome

ASK HER WOULD SHE LKE MUM GOING OUT
WITH HER AN PALS ALL THE TIME INSTEAD

AND ALL MEAN ALL THE TIME

I would under no circumstances get into a slanging match.

I would sit her down and explain that even though her hormones are playing havoc, she needs to realise that as she is now emerging as a beautiful butterfly as she matures into adulthood, part of growing up is becoming less dependant and accepting that mum and dad sometimes want to do things that don't include her. Also as Dizzi says ask her how she would feel in you went everywhere with her and her friends.

I would also tell her that excluding her occasionally does not mean is loved any less but is a recognition of her growing up and being able to trust her. I would also reiterate that mum and dad will always be there for her.

Jealousy stems from insecurity and so hopefully by allaying those fears may help improve the situation

I asked nat if i could come out and hang around with her mates as i was bored i said my fashion is up to date and i wont show her up lollol noooooooooooooo she said end of story lol.

Lizz, how old is the teenager? She may be under stress because of exams etc.
I found that the teenage years between 14-18 were the worse because of exams GCSE-A levels, driving tests, school proms, peir pressure, lack of cash, part time jobs while studying and the taxi of mum and dad and hormones!!!!!! the list goes on.

Joybo is right in the Alpha female observation:)
Boys try and become the Alpha male.

I have children and neices and nephews between 11-19 so have seen it a lot.

Tell your friend to stand firm but also let her know that this problem is going on up and down the country.
It does get better:)

Teresa

Morning Girls,

My is mate coming later today so i will show her your messages and i hope things today are a little better for her .

Thank you in the mean time your a truly wonderful group of girls.

L X

P.S. Her daughter is nearly 17.

Picking up on Dizzi's answer your friend could maybe ask her daughter to organise a pyjama party for her friends that mum could join in on. I expect that would go down like a lead balloon and maybe make daughter realise that no, she doesn't want to socialise with her parents.

(She's not a step-daughter is she? Oh the joys of that one!)

Jill

I was going to ask if she was a stepdaughter. Different problem if so. Very unusual for a daughter to want to do things with either parent at that age so it does sound as if she is insecure about something.

Just thinking back to when I was 17, one thing that struck me was - if the girl somehow feels a bit out of place amongst her friends (ie. they all want to go out/ they drink socially/ smoke socially/ experiment with drugs etc and she is the only one who doesn't feel comfortable doing that) maybe that's possibly why she wants to spend time with her parents, because they accept her as she is and don't try to make her do those kind of "social" things that she doesn't want to do.

I know when I was that age a lot of my friends were drinking/smoking/using classified substances and I knew I didn't want to experiment and so I didn't tend to socialise much outside of college hours, partly because they never asked me to do anything (possibly because I didn't quite fit in) and partly because I was sick of being asked to justify why I didn't drink/smoke etc. I did find it quite isolating so I wonder if something like that is going on?

Sounds possible Kate and you are closer to her age than many of us

tell your friend not to worry
as soon as she gets a boyfriend
her dad becomes to old to be seen with

I don't think I can advise as we don't know all the circumstances. There maybe much more going on. I can only suggest that they sit down and talk things through if that is possible.

All your replies had my mate in tears~she said she has tried so many things to try a put a stop to this problem and today she saw so new ideas and will try them out.

Her daughter is a not step-daughter and she has a boyfriend and she still makes her life a living hell ~but hopefully with some of your ideas that will stop or help.

Thanks for being a caring bunch.