General Chat

Ageism works both for being too old or too young. Children can wait in queues only to be overlooked by shop assistants for the adult standing behind. Older people can also be overlooked because shop assistant think erronously that it may be quicker to serve the younger person. I have been shopping with my mother and seen her overlloked or worse still patronised.

I am not one to stand back and have told assistants that a child is before me. When I saw my mother being patronized or overlooked I have spoken up against this kind of treatment. My mother is forever telling me not to make a fuss.

I have even had first hand experience when buying 2 DS lites for my niece and nephew I wanted one blue and one pink, not difficult I know. The assistant in Game could not understand I did not want insurance, I did not want to hear about insurance, I just wanted 2 DS Lites. I told him this many times, another assistant took over, obviously thinking he could back the sale. I repeated several time to him I do not want insurance. In the end I asked to see the manager. He came and I told the assistant to explain to him why the store had just lost this lucrative sale as I am now going to HMV and left the store. My son doesn't have this problem. His problem was being asked for ID by someone who was in the same class as him when they were at school who knew he was over 18

Trust me Rose, the group of noisy rowdy schoolboys didn't stand a chance when BC decided to get on the bus. She really did scatter them LOL. Was quite funny really, though Hayley and I both put our heads down and meekly followed.

I'd go along with that, as well, Rose, lolol!!

Love

Daff xxxx

I don't believe BC barges through..... I have the impression that crowds would part before her...like the Red Sea ;))

BC you're not old....you're younger than Hayley ;-)

Regarding degrees....I don't graduate until next year so what does that make me lol

Dahlinkkk......*gives an old woman kissy to TW.....lol...BC XX

Errr, when BC says 'I push past folks younger than me trying to get on bus before me' she means, she barges right through them sending them scattering through the air on either side of her. Trust me, I've been on a bus with her LOL

Because I am very old, I feel that at last I am getting the respect and deference I have always craved. I walk down my street and if there is anyone standing in my way, I tap them gently on the bum and they soon scarper. I push past folks younger than me trying to get on bus before me. I make sure that I have not become 'invisible'.

But sometimes when someone refers to 'older' folk, I look around to see who they are talking about. That's on a good day. Ageism? I really don't mind it at all:)

BC XX

Yes I do come across it mainly via some blasted spotty youth or overly made up wotsit sat behind a till. They seem to think they are doing me a favour when taking my money, it interrupts their discussion about last night's events!

They avoid eye contact for as long as possible until I start to speak. They quite happily chat to their younger customers in the queue!

After I have reminded them that it's old people like me who spend more money and pay their wages and then launch a verbal attack using as many archaic words as I can fit in I limp out smugly.

Sue x

Teresa, when it comes to qualifications, just slip an 'S' in there.
they've only changed the name - so you/we should to keep up!
After all, you no longer call a 'Marathon' a 'Snickers' bar do you, or 'Cif' 'Jif'.
I took my degree in 1999 - so that makes me in my early 30's not 50's!

Ageism when it comes to employment, yes definitely. I've been unemployed for just over a year now, and when telephoning for a job I sometimes used to get asked my age. Now there is new legislation around that means they cannot ask that question any longer but I soon learned to reply 'Why? Is that important to the job?' and they would usually back off quickly and deny it. Then I wouldn't get the job lol.

Anyway, having been on t'dole for 12 months, I am now referred to the governments Flexible New Deal scheme, which is set to help long term unemployed get back to work. I was not surprised how many over 50s are part of that scheme along with me. More than the youngsters, I can tell you.

They told me at the FND induction, that ageism is a problem in Norfolk, whether they like to admit it or not.

Nowadays, companies do not ask for your date of birth on their application forms, but they can still work our your age by your qualifications. I took my O levels in 1976. They would know I was 16 or thereabouts, it doesn't take a genius to work out age, and my experience and knowledge counts for nothing.

BUT, as far as treating elderly people differently, well yes I do, in that they are less able than I am, so, seats on buses, open doors, assisting on and off, and generally speaking to them with some respect is the norm, and why not?

I have been invisible too.... on a grumpy day I have been known to go back around the store and fill my arms/trolley/whatever with goodies, then once they have gone through the ignorant person's till.... change my mind and leave it for them to put away... done that 3 times in my life, and very very satisfying it was, too...

another time, I was informed that they had nothing in the shop in my price range.... in spite of the fact that I was browsing and hadn't requested anything other than whether they had a particular gown in my size (I was a 12 in those days) It was just assumed that I wouldn't be able to afford one of their posh frocks. So.... I bought my gown, shoes, tiara and crown jewels elsewhere, stacking up a price of a fair few hundred quid..... it was a very very special do.... then went back to shop, asked if they were on commission.... and then showed my receipt.... and said... remember me? Well, you might have had the commission from this sale... and stalked out again.

Lovely.

*sighs* They never do anything in my size any more, anyway.... so am doubly ignored now.

Love

Daff xxxxx

A couple of years later.... Julia Roberts did similar in Pretty Woman, lol

lolol.....

Hi
Am I being marginalised because of age?

Yes I can no longer help with the Brownies now I'm 65.
Von

Maggiwinchester, on the odd occasion that has happened to me I have remarked in a very loud sarcastic voice "They must think I'm waiting here for Christmas" I feel I have made point even if it doesn't have a great deal of response.

I feel I'm slowly becoming invisible!
3 people abreast on the pavement walking towards me - no-one moves. Am I expected to go in the (very busy) road?
I tend to make a quick dive to the inside of the pavement and stop!

Waiting to be served in a shop. Finally the assistants finish their conversation and serve the person behind me!
I just say 'Thank you' very loudly and leave the stuff on very edge of the counter. (hoping it falls onto the floor)

If they acted out any actions because of their thoughts then,age dont come into it,

,they can privatley think what they like as regards race.gays,or any other class,or even voice it privatley its not for me to tell them they must like or agree with all things,,

same as Eldrick but I am much younger than him...

Yes, I often find older people look down on me with lofty disdain, being a mere youth.

At least that's what I put it down to.

Mmmmm it's a difficult one, isn't it? My mother almost voted BNP, lol.... fortunately we are a very multi racial family... and she was persuaded against it by my lovely neices and nephews (most mixed race, and who absolutely adore and are adored)... but she is loud and proud in her racist comments.... about Polish people. Why? Because her brother was force marched across Germany, and it was the Polish guards who were brutal, not their German guards, who often showed some humanity and decency putting themselves at risk in doing so, according to my uncle. But that is where her opinion stems from, and now that she has a mild dementia, there are times when she finds it difficult not to voice that opinion.

When I was working, one of the ladies in one of the homes I visited was a child when Singapore fell. She is the same about the Japanese... as she spent her early life as a prisoner of war, Tenko style. And now, with increasing age... the result of indignities she suffered is perceived as racism, when it is no different to the way some women feel about men in general, when they have been abused by just one.... one of my ex colleagues hates men, because of the emotional turmoil and physical abuse she suffered at the hands of one man, for three years until she plucked up the courage to dump him.

So I think that there are times when it is inevitable that we *make allowances* and try to redirect or gently point out that n *not all.....* without negating their experiences and their feelings.

Difficult, isn't it?

Love

Daff xxxx

you have come across, being marginalised because of age?

or

Do you treat people differently because of their age? Give them more leeway? Try to ignore their foibles lol, because "she's an old biddy" ?

For example an acquaintance of mine sometimes makes rather racist or homophobic comments which I tend not to pick her up on in the same way that I might a younger person, only because she 'comes from a different generation' where those terms were the accepted norm.

"Elders and betters" used to be the phrase, do you still have that at the back of your mind when dealing with older people?