General Chat

any time, Tec :-D


I've been told that I give super hugs :-D

Hello everyone :-)

Tec - I'm so pleased you found the Duchess well and that you didn't have to explain why no one visited her while she was in hospital. What a dreadful state of affairs :-(. A letter of apology indeed - do they think that is all it takes and that all will be forgotten?

Thank you Sylvia :-)

There are times in our lives when we all need a hug <3

Tec


(((hugs)))



I'm feeling that you need a hug :-) <3 <3

Hello Linda, Sylvia, and Amanda,

Thank you all for concern.
It will take time to make different arrangements for the Duchess, and not least I have to consider the upheaval for her when the time comes to change homes.
Her mental state is very fragile now.

I will do some enquiring to see what alternatives there are, and this time will be able to visit and view any potential home before making a decision.
So I know this will take time, but now that they know I am watching I think more care will be taken.

It is unfortunate that I can't get to visit more often, and can only hope that my driving licence is returned sooner than later.

I find it so hard to accept that at a time when she needs me more than ever, I am rendered helpless by my own circumstances, and have to rely on strangers to take care of her.

Hello everyone .

I've not looked in for a few days but have just read the thread back for a couple of days .

Tec , I am shocked about the news regarding the Duchess but very glad to know that she is well again . I'm not surpised that you want her moved from that " care home " , it doesn't sound as if it cares anywhere enough ! :-|
I hope that you can find one that is much more to your satisfaction .
I'm glad that you all had a good visit today :-)

Berona , I hope your Grandaughter is all better now . Being in hospital is bad enough without being plonked into a mixed ward , poor girl :-(

Linda , I hope your holiday is going well and that your feeling nicely rested .

~~~~~ to Sue , Sylvia and Persie and all :-D

I'm so glad to hear that the home seem to be taking it seriously ............ and hope that there will be improvements in how they behave.


Do please write that letter, Tec



It is quite common to have mixed wards here, certainly in certain areas of the hospital.

OH was put in the recovery ward for open heart surgery on the occasion I mentioned ............. that was the only bed available for him ............ but a mixed ward is common. The side curtains were kept closed around everyone's bed most of the time.

It makes for a more economical use of beds if it is possible to have sharing.



It is lovely today ......... sunny, blue skies, and warm :-)

I am glad that the home seem to be taking it seriously Tec. I hope that you can find somewhere else for her which you are happier with. It must be difficult in such a remote area to find places. Maybe you could Ind somewhere closer to your daughter so that she could visit more often. You then have the problem of the English Welsh border of course

It was an interesting visit to the care home today.
Most importantly the Duchess appeared to be fine today, physically anyway. She made very little reference to her stay in hospital, and didn't comment on the fact that nobody had visited her there.
We, being me, daughter and SIL, thought it best not to say too much about it unless she did.
On arrival I was handed a letter by the deputy manager, written by the manager who I spoke to yesterday.
The letter was full of apologies. Stating that what happened, should never have happened.
Yesterday I was told that a junior member of staff (16 yr old trainee) had been told to contact the family. She apparently claimed to have left a voicemail message on my daughter's mobile. My daughter doesn't pick up voicemail on her current mobile.
In today's letter it is claimed that she left a message on my daughter's answerphone. My daughter doesn't have an answerphone.

I should explain that when I was in hospital the home had my daughter's mobile and landline numbers as contact. Also as next of kin, as things looked bad for me at one time.
However, after I came out of hospital they were told twice, once by me, and again by me daughter to amend their records, naming me as next of kin, and the contact number. This was also raised at a meeting I attended in early April, and the records were amended in front of me.
In today's letter they state that I was not contacted as I was not named as next of kin. Very strange that the hospital obviously had the correct information, given them by the home.
Anyway, the letter contained the address of the owners of the home should I wish to complain to them, stating that the incident had already been reported to the owners, who in turn expressed their apologies.
I had a 30 minute interview with the deputy manager today, who was very remorseful.
Among many other things, I pointed out that it was totally irresponsible to rely on a 16 yr old trainee to convey such an important message to a residents family, and wrong to just assume that this had been done. The message should have been conveyed by a senior member of staff, who should actually speak to the family, not leave a vague message on voicemail or whatever.

I will respond to the letter of apology in writing, expressing my grievances, about this and other issues.
I didn't mention that I am making enquiries about having the Duchess moved elsewhere. I don't trust those people, or the way the home is run.

Time after time we see reports of abuse or neglect in residential homes, and I have often thought " Well where were the family while this was happening?)
Well the Duchess's family are here, and taking note. The very least I can do at this awful period in her life is fight her corner to ensure that she is cared for.

Apart from all of the above today's visit was pleasant. We all went and sat out in the garden in the sunshine.
The doors to the garden are always locked, although the garden is secure enough.
I've never seen residents in the garden, and you have to ask a member of staff to unlock the doors.
The Duchess said it was so lovely to have fresh air, it seemed a shame to take her inside again.
Well I seem to have written a book, but thought I'd let you know how today went.

It is really unusual here to have mixed wards, it would only happen in a real emergency. The wards themselves are often mixed, but the bays with the beds in them are always segregated. It must have been very traumatic for your poor granddaughter Berona

I am in agreement with Linda,

Tec you have to voice your complaints in writing and you have to ensure that they are read and addressed properly. I do hope you can find somewhere better for her ladyship. As Sylvia says the maltreatment or lack of care given to the elderly and those that cannot speak up appears to be worldwide.

I did not know until my dad died in Feb 1998, that he had had a stroke the preceding September. I noticed that he spoke a lot quieter but nothing else other than the aging process. I was cross with them over that but on the whole he was treated very well. Though I do have my suspicions when quite early during his stay, I went to visit him one evening and he was not in the lounge, he was in his bed with his clothes on (not pjs) and one of the staff came and sat in the only chair on his room the whole time I was talking to him. He was looking very flushed and it did occur to me that he could have been in a row with her or someone may have hit him, which is not uncommon in these facilities. The problem is when you visit you are never certain whether they have hurt themselves or been hurt.

I was rather amused by one thing, I had put this silk flower arrangement of flowers in his room, it was one I had given my mother when she was in hospital. Later I saw it in the reception area of the rest home. I could have had a go but let it go instead. They also had this habit of musical clothes. I didn't buy him track pants but he was often wearing them.

Berona, it is common place here in the public hospital to be sharing with blokes. When I was there it went from three women (4 bedded room) to two blokes and two women and then four women.. we had much more fun when it was us four women. We were still awake at 2am joking etc. Even the nurse's station which happened to be outside our room didn't mind our hilarity.

One of the blokes had been in a fight and so there were detectives interviewing him. He knew who had hit him but wouldn't tell them, we knew because he told friends. We also knew a lot more besides that went on when his curtains were drawn with both the girlfriend and the wife (not at the same time).

Waves to lovely Carole..

Persie

I have just been telling OH and he says that as well as writing to the home, you shoul copy if to the care quality commission who are in charge of the homes inspections I do hope you will as it will improve the Duchesses care until such time as hou can look for somewhere better

Oh Tec that is absolutely disgraceful, you must be devastated. While you have made a verbal complaint it is vital that you make a written complaint about both incidents or they will never come to the attention of the home owners. I would write a letter before you go stating that you are making a formal written complaint about the incidents and you expect a written answer explaining how they could have happened and asking what steps they have taken to improve their procedures so they can never happen again.

I know that you may not want to rock the boat but think back to your own treatment and think how different things may have been if youhax been assertive then. When I look back to the way my father was treated when he was first ill I wish I had stood up to them then, but that was my first experience of the NHS and the elderley. I know better now

Sorry. Had to take off before and have just got back.

I, too, was surprised at her being treated like that. Not even a curtain in the room she shared with one man - and no nurse's station either. I've always had a high regard for that hospital - considered to be the biggest and the best. I'm just glad she came home yesterday. She had a lot of pain for a few days, but has finally responded to antibiotics and now that she is feeling better, is talking more of the embarrassment at having to share with the men. She couldn't get out of there quick enough. Oh well, her parents will know their rights next time any one of them needs to go to hospital!

Sixteen year olds are considered adults in hospital here but I'm surprised that Berona's granddaughter would be put in such an uncomfortable position.

sleep tight, Tec.


and I hope that you get satisfaction tomorrow xxxxx

we do have mixed rooms here ......... OH was in a room with 4 other patients back in 2005 ............... 3 women and 1 other man. The others were all recovering from open heart surgery, so there was also a nurse's station (ie, desk) in the room.

It was just before Christmas, and the hospital had closed most of the General Surgery wards to allow for staff holidays ................... otherwise OH would have been in one of those wards!

I think the other man, who was in the next bed, must have cringed if he overheard the surgeon telling my OH that his prostate HAD to be reamed out, all other option were out of the question!

I know daughter and I crossed our legs!

This was just about 10 days after he'd had the colon resection.


But a 16-year old would still be considered a child here ..................... and, in this city, would be transferred over to the Children's Hospital. In other towns, they'd put her in the children's section, or in a room by herself.

Goodnight Tec - hope you are able to sleep well <3

Hello Berona - what a dreadful experience for a young girl although I would feel uncomfortable too.

Berona .......................

that was very hard for your granddaughter.


they should never have put such a young woman in with 3 men.

Her parents should complain to the management, in my opinion.


We have Extended Health Insurance, a form of private insurance to cover things that the provincial insurance does not cover (like prescription costs).

That allows me to have a private or 2-bed room if I want .......................... the insurance company we are with insists that we pay as we leave the hospital, and then claim it back from the company afterwards.

That means we know what was charged vs what we were told the fee would be :-)

Thank you Sue,

Well I must go to bed now,

Enjoy your day Sue getting more pots :-D

Enjoy your day Sylvia, and Berona,

Don't get too hot Linda, it's bad for you :-D

Goodnight,
Tec :-)