General Chat

Its also feels to me kemp that you are accusing this teacher of having another agenda regarding your son.

Lets face it, your son has abused the trust of this teacher by sending the adult joke to her. She did the right thing to complain about what seems to be a sexual text (joke or not) & she did so out in the open before the accusations and insinuations come in thick & fast from a scorned parent.(as per your replies on this thread)

Very dangerous ground ... you seem to be inferring that this teacher has a hidden agenda in giving a phone number to your son!
Yet surely it was for your son’s safety that she gave it to him at Chessington
Friday placements have also been given this number ... ‘in case they need help’
Make up your mind ... in one instance you are complaining that your son was given her number and then you are saying “My son will no longer send for help as he has no number!!”

School mobiles are usualy used for field trips/outings etc. They are logged out just before the trip & logged back into the office on the teachers return to school. They are not used solely by one teacher & are turned off between trips.

Hi, I've been following this topic with great interest. I have 4 children, 2 of whom are in early years at Secondary School. They both have mobile phones with firends & family numbers on them.

They both also belong to various sports & athletic clubs. I have (on my mobile), the contact numbers for ALL the people in charge of their various activities, just in case they need to be contacted due to illness, lateness etc. My children have none of these numbers on their phones.

However, my eldest son (aged 13) travels away from home with his athletics team on a regular basis. Each time he goes away, we make sure he has his Coaches number in his phone in case of emergency whilst they are away from home and that coach has the SOLE RESPONSIBILITY for my child. This number is deleted from his phone when he gets back home.

When we have had children go on school trips, they haven't under any circumstances been allowed to take a phone with them. As parents we have a contact number for the school, which if we need to get hold of a teacher, our call will be actioned accordingly.

But, if a teacher takes the children out on a trip or activity, surely the Pupil/Teacher ratio that is required by law, would ensure that all pupils are not left "alone" without somebody keeping an eye on them, even from a greater distance?

If your child is on a placement organised by the school, and has a problem, then his first port of call should surely be the school, or even you if there is a matter which needs to be settled.

I think the teacher has made a mistake by giving out her private number, and could actually be severely reprimanded for that. However, she probably had the best interest of the pupils in mind when she did it. Did she give her number to ALL the pupils on the trip? If she did, then I think the matter should be closed and all children asked to delete the number from their phones. Your child should not have been put into this situation. However, if she only gave it to one or two pupils, then perhaps her reasons should be questioned.

The school need to review their policy of Contact,a dn all teachers, pupils and parents need to be advised of the correct issues to ensure a similar thing does not happen again.

Private numbers are just that, Private, and should remain so. Your school has their own mobiles (as does ours) and that teacher should be made fully aware of the policy. If she is new then perhaps nobody thought to tell her anything.

Your child is safe, no real harm has been done and with apologies all round and an explanation to the Powers that Matter, then the case should be brought to an end. Think how this poor teacher must be feeling, knowing all this has happened (rightly or wrongly).

You could possibly look at it from a positive side and be safe in the knowledge that there is someone out there who cares enough about your child when he is away from his home environment. After all he is only 15, and whilst they can be very streetwise at that age, they also still need security and the knowledge of safety.

As for the Facebook/Bebo saga. I have no idea. I don't have any such accounts, nor do any of my children, though I do occasionally get asked to join one as a "friend". I usually decline, due to the fact that just yet more information becomes available eventually to every Tom, Dick and Harry, and you really have no idea what is going on behind the scenes.

Sorry everything has happened to you. So much trouble can be caused by one innocent action, and then subsequently Mountains are made out of Molehills, and more and more people are made to suffer the consequences.

I hope you sort it all out ok, but don't approach it with a completely negative side. There may have been a perfectly reasonable explanation all along.

Good Luck.

Debbie

I wouldn't have a problem with my children being given the teachers mobile number on a trip out.

I'd far sooner that than them be left vulnerable with no point of contact. I'm sure if there had been an incident and your son got lost on the trip or hurt in anyway you'd feel differently about it.

I also agree with PME.........NO WAY would I have allowed a teacher access to my facebook account (had they been around in those days) when I was that age........ same as I wouldn't let my children see mine now !!! lol xx

I agree with you PME about teachers not standing a chance these days. One of my relatives was a teacher and a very good one at that. They've now left teaching - said it wasn't the children who were the problem, it was the parents.

Whoa,

Your sons 15 not five, clearly giving out the number was for there saftey and to allow them a bit of freedom on a trip out, I remember going round Alton Towers in groups without teachers at that age, no mobile numbers though (but this is just over a decade ago) they'd have been reliant on the parks tannoy system.

Please untwist your knickers about BEBO and Facebook, while I'd be worried if a pupil requested an 'add me as a friend' to a teachers 'adult account' in othr words the one they use to contact their family and friends, I would be less concerned if its an account the teachers set up that just has the pupils on, and probably done not to 'offend' stroppy teenagers, or even help keep track of them, to be honest anyone fool enough to add their teacher to their normal account really needs to think if they actually want a teacher being able to see what they post. At the end of the day someones requested to be someone friend and that persons accepted, whoevers in which role the childs activitely decided to have the teacher as a friend, you just don't pop up on someones accoutn as a 'friend'.

I think you need to get a grip on your child, mass texting 'funny' jokes about willies, how do you know everyone found this funny?
If he has a facebook/bebo account do you know about it are you his friend on it? If not why not?

I think possiably an apology to the teacher is required, as for him having the number that needs to be dealt with seperately, and should not deflect from the fact he sent a joke about a 'willie' to everyone he knows, I mean I bet theres more than one adult whose been in trouble with the boss for hitting 'send to all' and their boss has got it, at least he's learnt now thats not the brightest thing to do, well not without check whose on his contacts list.

As for the Bebo and Facebook thing, I would ask the schools policy, but also get the teacher to 'add' you as a friend I mean if they have pupils as friends why not a pupils parent? Then you can see what they are doing, if its 'appropriate' and then make a decision from there.

I know you want to 'defend' your child but think what is best for him in the long run. As for what other pupils do, have you witnessed this? As in your sons case is their evidence of the 'bad' behaviour.

By the way I am not a teacher, although I do think they stand no chance with parents who seem out for blood, without knowing the facts of the matter from both sides, before jumping to conclusions.

I'm a technology dunce so I could be wrong but my last phone used to automatically add the numbers of everyone who texted or phoned me. Perhaps his number was added when he sent the text.

My mobile number is only slightly more private than my landline number, which is in the phone directory. It appears on literature sent out by my place of work and is also on their website as a contact for questions about the Youth Theatre.

So it isn't exactly private.

Gwynne

I agree with you totally ...but now that this teacher has reported my son .....he no longer trusts her

And please do explain how and why does she have my sons number on her phone

Its interesting to hear other teachers are also giving out their private numbers to children .........

If one of my Youth Theatre members went missing I'd probably be one of the first people the parents would ask for help, they know me and they trust me.

My parents were both teachers and occasionally a child or parent would phone them with a question or to ask for help. Our home phone number was in the phone directory. I don't think they were compromising themselves by being in the phone directory.

If my son had been given a number to contact when he was on work placement I'd have been relieved to know instant support was available.

No wonder teachers are leaving in droves if parents are so quick to judge them. It's not that long since I was a teacher and the parents of the children I taught knew me and trusted me. Teachers who abuse the trust of children are a very tiny minority.

Gwynne

Sally ...yes I did get the joke aswel so did his granny she thought it funny and not rude ...so each to their own ...

He has said he is sorry and has written to her a letter that also says he is sorry ...........

For you ...i will continue to explain the situation further

Last week another child called this teacher a F****** C***. and nothing was done .She continues to allow these children to play up in class and has given her number to this class as they go out on placement each Friday and "may" need help ....My son will no longer send for help as he has no number!!

So therefore this number is for LONG TERM use !!!

I thought it was a school phone else I would have deleted it myself

The LAW says that "people whom work with children should NEVER put themselves in a situation that they may find themselves being compramised in"

My hubby says that this is one of them situations

Think to yourselves ......what would you say as a member of public if my son dissappeared and they found her number ...PRIVATE on his phone ?

I used to be a teacher but now I work in Youth Theatre.

Nearly all the teenagers in my groups, who have a mobile phone, have my mobile number and their parents know that they have. They don't contact me often but use it to text me if they are running late, if they are too ill to come or to ask a question about rehearsals.

Our Youth Theatre group also has a facebook page which we all use to make general announcements about the group. Many of the young people are also FB friends of mine and their parents are very sensible and monitor their Facebook use. None of the parents have objected to them being on my FB friends list and some of them are also FB friends.

My son is grown up now but if he'd sent an iffy joke to a teacher the last thing I'd be doing is telling the governors about it.

Gwynne

Maybe there was a problem with the school phones that day or they were out elsewhere. There could be a myriad of reasons why it was her private number. Maybe she didn't clarify that it was for the trip only and that no-one should store it on their phones. He should just apologise if he's caused offence and delete it from his phone in front of a teacher so they know he's sincere in his apology. I guess you got the joke sent to you as well as you must be in his contacts. If so then you can gauge whether it was a joke that someone else may find more offensive than other people possibly.

your son should now delete the number as it has no reason to be stored on his phone..

Sally I do see your point but its her PRIVATE number ......

At the school they have phones for this purpose...but this teacher chose not to take one to Chessington on that day .......


Should anyone in a child enviroment just give out their personal number

I have several people who are my Facebook friends. They send me an invite and I accept. My picture ( if I have one) and Facebook name are then added to their list of friends. I don't add any details about them, myself. It is perfectly possible that the kids found this teacher on Facebook and invited him to become their friend. There is no way that I can tell who of my friends has invited their other firends or vice versa. And I wouldn't be surprised if kids who invite a teacher then turn it round and say he invited them.
As for the phone number, it was given out as an emergency contact while they were at Chessington? In which case it was a sensible thing for her to do in my eyes. There is no way a group of 15 year olds would want to go around there in one large group. He really should have deleted it as soon as they were on the way home, if he had to add it to his phone numbers at all.

He made a mistake in sending a joke to all his contacts without checking his contact list first.....................but I would say an apology and deleting the number from his phone will be the best solution.

As for bebo and facebook.....................I don't use them so can't comment really.

Carol I agree with you and so does my son

he says he sent the text coz he chose to send it by this Cahin Mail thing ...which means the phone says "send to all mobiles"

he pressed yes and it got sent to hers ......

he them realised her number would be included in that group

There are defiantly no sitautions for a member of staff to give out a personal number and she is most defiantly in the wrong and you should make a formal complaint to the LEA and the govenors of the school. This is most definatly NOT on and she should be reported. Your son is a child and she is an adult.

We are NOT allowed to use our phone on school premisses let alone give out numbers!

As far as facebook and bebo go we were all made to sign a declaration NOT to use any of the sites however when 100 out of 125 staff used them anyway that was scrapped but I know a male member of staff was proceuted for having a female student on his wall.

Hope it gets sorted soon Kemp your child is NOT to blame in any way.

so is this it?
he sent a female teacher a joke with sexual connotations?

and another teacher (male)has a website with his pupils' details on it?

hmmm!!

sounds dodgy ground to me.........
Bob

Good luck with this Kemp, let us know how you get on.

Maria xx