General Chat

Dermot that is so sad it was brilliant written but so sad.
I dont smoke, I only have a glass of wine a few times a year when out to lunch. I eat fresh veg and lots of fruit mostly grilled or oven food. yet I have cancer they cannot cut it out but keep it under control
t I knew two people husband and wife they smoked over 100 cggies a week each . their house smelt of tobacco and the walls and ceiling was yellow yet they both lived till 100. so I often wonder who is right the non smoking brigade or the fruit and veggie brigade.

Rita

Stephen I am sure you are a nut case I was just siping a glass of water
when I read your Shepherds spie and nearly choked to death .

Marilyn I was told the reason they refuse to have blood transfusions is they say the blood carries deseases . I know there is some sense in that . but I still think they should allow the Doctors the choice if they think the child is going to die if he or she does not have that transfusion..If it is an adult then they can make their own minds up but children cannot.

The the JW have never been rude to me unless you call putting there hand in the open door or a foot to stop the door from closeing LOL

That was expensive dental treatment I suppose Peters pocket t money will be cut.

Rita
x

Dermot and Stephen you are real comics!
The last time i has JW ring my bell I tried to tell them that one of my favourite bits of tge bible was trhe Beatitudes but it was obvious I didn't know where in the bible it was!
I'm home from work. I'll be watching a dvd which I was lent on my lappy. It's called Amelie.It was lent to me by the Parish priest so I think it's got a message!
Shelley I'm glad you lappy is fixed.
About to put tea int he oven x

In memory of several family members, including my dad, who died of cancer over the years attributed to cigarette smoking.

Smoking - Irish style.
----------------------------------

I was born & raised in Ireland where the air is fresh & clean,
In the village of Dureen near the town of Skibereen.

I always had the best of food & never liked the pan.
I grew up healthily & could cycle with any man.

Oh weren’t they the happy days when I was young & free.
I could dance & sing & have a drink wherever I might be.

Kathleen O’Houlihan was the girl I used to date.
But, because of unemployment, I was forced to emigrate.

It was back in 1960 that I left my childhood home
Determined to achieve success & make it on my own.

I stared work with Wimpey far from home & family
And made new friends & some enemies too across the Irish sea.

Oh well I can remember the day of my first pay.
I joined a jolly bunch of chaps down at the Travellers’ Way.

We drank some pints of beer but I’ll always have regrets
Because before I left that tavern, I bought some cigarettes.

For more than 40 years now, I’ve smoked 20 fags a day
Which means I’ve sent up in smoke an awful lot of pay.

I haven’t had a breakfast now for 20 years or so;
Cup of tea, light a fag & off to work I go.

The people whom I’m staying with look after all my needs;
And when I come home each evening, they put up some mighty feeds.

They really shouldn’t bother for my taste buds have disappeared;
And bacon, beef or mutton chops - they all taste kinda weird.

I met a young lad recently - he came from Donegal;
He’s a qualified accountant & thinks he knows it all.

He asked me how many fags I smoke & when I started;
I didn’t take much notice for I was trying to kill my thirst.

He took out his calculator & began to add it up;
T’wasn’t that I asked him - cheeky little pup.

And when he had finished, he looked at me and spoke;
“You have £67k pounds all gone up in smoke”.

Now, £67k is an awful lot of dough;
And to spend it on a poisoned weed is hard to take I know.

I used to think that all my friends would surely be impressed;
But now I think of all that muck I’ve inhaled into my chest.

I can never stop coughing - I even cough all night;
My eyes are kinda watery & my face is deadly white.

My memory has started failing & it’s often I forget;
Oh, what the hell about it - I’ll have another cigarette.

Sometimes I sit & dream awhile when I’m all alone;
About the days when I was young & weighing 13 stones.

I was then in peak condition for cycling was my thing;
And I hoped one day to emulate Stephen Roche or Christy Ring.

Oh God be with those happy days & things that might have been;
Had I the chance to stay at home & work in Skibereen.

Still, it isn’t emigration that’s caused my main regrets;
It’s that day in 1960 when I bought those cigarettes.

I’m lying in intensive care with my body wrecked with pain;
Oh what I would give to see my Irish home again.

In my mind, I have a vision of the fields of new moan hay;
And I see the sun ascending way beyond old Bantry bay.

The doctor’s been to see me & his face was rather grim;
And the Matron asked me yesterday to name my next of kin.

If only I could breathe again the air I can’t forget;
I swear to God I’d never smoke another cigarette.

PMSL Stephen, you crease me up with your cracks.
Can you send an Irn Bru down the cyber hatch for me please, I can't be bothered to go out in the cold.

Good evening everyone.

RITA,

JUST FOR YOU !

A friend and I were acting as Security on the Nuclear Sub Base at Faslane on the Gairloch.

When doing our rounds we came across a guy lying in the heather using binoculars to view the base.

We told him he was under arrest as a Spy
.
He protested he was doing nothing illegal and that he was a Shepherd.

So we arrested him as a Shepherds Spie.

Enjoy your tea.

Marilyn,

I could have done an Impression of a Dentist for £299.99.


Pauline,

Have spent the last hour looking for a man in a pile of Coffee Beans
The right side of my Brain has obviously not formed.ROFL
(About 5secs really)
Mrs Stephen didn't find him at all but I think that's more down to poor vision.

Busy day today. Time for coffee and a relax.

Catch you later.

Hi All,

Rita I have no problem with JW they have always been polite to me of course I tell them that I am a Catholic and don't need to change my religion, and off they go !!

I did have a dear friend of mine that did convert as she was a sucker for talking to anyone at the doorstep !!
And she did have to go out and about on doors herself.
She also nearly died as she refused a blood transfusion and did indeed did die 2 years after due to complications.

I was ever so upset ,and often wonder if she had not refused that blood transfusion would she still be alive today ....Hmm there's a thought !

I have been and had my impressions done at the dentist , just coughed up £300 for the services .......got to go out singing now ...!! LOL

So that was a very expensive holiday and its not finished yet at dentist that's only temporary ...

back later ....phone going ..

Dermot has daughter had no time for Jehovah's Witnesses sorry if I am going to upset someone here who is one. ?

but we always had them call at our door, they always shoved papers into my hands and you could not get rid of them they tried everyway they could to convert me.
My daughter was standing there at the time she must have been about 10 I said to these two people I didnt beleive in their religion and wish they would not call.. I had a friend Phiylis she was deaf and married a man who was also deaf. she converted to the JW. and they had three sons one was very ill and needed a blood transfusion her and her husband refused they said they would take a chance. I was so angry the little one was about three at the time I said you have no right to do this. he cannot speak up for his self . so you should let the Doctor do what they need to. I have always beleived the child should make up his or own mind when they grew older what religion they wanted.
Sadly my friend and I fell out over it. her son nearly lost his life the nurses and doctors were frantic at the time.
That was when I told them dont knock on my door again. my daughter has put a big notice on her door Saying No jehovah Witnessethey dont call on her now,
I am going back to the realy 60's now.

Rita

im here lol
laptop is in the menders hopefully it will be back tomorow
i took it to a shop round the corner to my daughters
the man want 45 pound to fix it and pc world wanted that just to look at it

now iv got to go back to earlyer post as i misted it
now jean what on earth made you think we wouldent want to talk to you
just becouse of your rutes
we all are from diffrent places and you could come from timbuck too for all we care
now stop being silly becouse you are now one of us


now i will see if i can pop back later that is is this thing runs a little raster

Afternoon everyone

Stephen and Dermot your jokes made me laugh

Rita pleased that your son is feeling better

Jean pleased about your results

Hope everyone is ok

talk later
x

There was a knock on the door this morning. I opened it and there was a young bloke standing there who said: "I'm a Jehovah's Witness".

I said "Come in and sit down. What do you want to talk about"?

He said " Damned if I know - I've never got this far before".

I had visions of a fruit machine being installed in the porch of my church til I read the end! Very good Dermot!
Jean I don' t think my glasses will be ready for another week or so.
A bacon roll sounds a lot nicer than my cheese spread roll.

Jean
I am just going to have a shepherds pie I made one this morning, looked at the clock and was amazed at how the time had gone.
I be having my dinner and tea together at this rate. Lol

Rita
x

Dermot I beleived all that till I came to the end about the chips being

counted and returned for cash what am I going to do with you. ?

Chip Monks indeed.

Rita
x

Hello everyone, hope you had a restful night.
Rita, hope you enjoyed your shower and are feeling ready for the day ahead.
Marilyn, hope your trip to dentist is painfree.

As I wasn't up in time to do breakfast would anyone like a hot bacon roll and a cuppa?

Patricia, hope your new glasses are ready for you today, got mine 2 weeks ago, am pleased cos now I can see more clearly.

Hope you all have a good day and enjoy whatever you do.
Go with God and in good health.
Jeniwren xx

Dermot, we must have been typing at the same time,
love that, very funny LOL

Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips:

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN
LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.

THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.

(From an e-mail received today. Enough said!)

Morning everyone
Stephen sounded like Jack Warner in policeman in the Blue Lamp with his short words.
I Was up half the night so took a couple of paracetmols and went back to bed it was so cold as well. and went off to sleep and didnt wake till 8 oclock. thats a good bit of my day gone already . and I have not had a shower yet. thats the next job.
. Dermot I looked at the thatched cottage on the net. There use to be a lovely thatched cottage I passed on the way to Wembley. it was like a painting I undertsood it had been there for many years and cost a lot to insure, It caught fire one day and going back home I was looking out of the bus window and got such a shock to see the damage it had been perfect in the morning and was half gone when I went home.
I understand many Insurers charge a high price for insuring the Thatched proproties now. ?

Hope you all have a good day. see you later.

Rita

What no brekkie!
I don't want any lettuce- that's rabbit food!
Stephen-a phone call at 10.30pm. that's late! you must have wondered what was up. Hope you get the cooker fixed.
Hope the dentist and the optician's go ok, Marilyn. I'm waiting for the call to say that my new glasses are in.
Have a nice day everyone x

A wee chuckle for the day......

Delayed Reaction

Bert and George were sitting on a Park Bench when a lovely young woman walks past.

Says Bert.........,' George do you remeber those Bromide pills they gave us during the War to stop us chasing Women?'

'Yes!' says George, 'Why?'

Bert said......'I think mine are beginning to work'