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No more Love or dear from nurses

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Janet 693215

Janet 693215 Report 26 Nov 2008 22:47

God help any professional who calls me Love or Dear, they'd be asking for a mouthful. I'm not a great one for formality but I do think it is demeaning and treating people like a child.

I have to report figures to someone each week who calls me Hun. Each week I really have to bite my tongue as it really annoys me. Only my family and closest friends call me Jan and the friends being added to that is only a recent thing.

Susan9363343

Susan9363343 Report 26 Nov 2008 22:47

Perhaps it is because both views have been taken into account, due to the strong views of both parties, that they have come up with this simple answer, which used to be the appropriate form of address, so that all opinions were catered for and not just the 'one'.

One set of people feel that it is ok.....their choice/right...no problem

The other set had no choice and also have a right

This has surely got to be a simple answer which costs nothing and just a few seconds of thought.

Glenys the Menace!

Glenys the Menace! Report 26 Nov 2008 22:26


Oh for Gods sake, I think it's utterly ridiculous, and nothing will change my mind.
x

Susan9363343

Susan9363343 Report 26 Nov 2008 22:17

You have my permission to call me 'Susan with numbers' Morleyite :-))

CATHKIN

CATHKIN Report 26 Nov 2008 22:09

I was once told by a GP not to shout "MARGARET SMITH" - I had to say Mrs or Miss, but I would rather say their full name unless I know for certain their marital status . Once I know a patient I usually just say their first name, Ros x

Morleyite

Morleyite Report 26 Nov 2008 21:51

Hi Susan9363343, Yes i suppose you could be right there however i still think asking nurses not to refer to patients as love and so on is really pathetic,
It's a good job you dont have that number on your forehead 9363343 it would go right across.

Susan9363343

Susan9363343 Report 26 Nov 2008 21:41

Hi Morleyite

I don't think it is political correctness, just etiquette, and agree. Once past the initial introduction a person can ask to be referred to by their first or a pet name but I believe the 'choice' should be there.

Those who dislike being called 'love' 'ducky' etc don't at the moment have the choice unless a point is made of it which can cause ill feeling.



Morleyite

Morleyite Report 26 Nov 2008 21:41

So it looks like we have a mixed view on this topic folk's never mind then we will have to see what happens in the future, I for one will insist they refer to me by my given Christian name and not Mr,

Linda G

Linda G Report 26 Nov 2008 21:39

With all that's wrong in the world I think that there's more to worry about than how I am addressed.

As long as they don't call me too late for dinner I couldn't care less...lol


Linda

Winter Drawers Ever Near

Winter Drawers Ever Near Report 26 Nov 2008 21:39

One of my elderly peeps told me tonight she didn't give a tinker's cuss what they called her.

On her last stint in hospital she came out like a famine victim. Couldn't feed herself but her food was dumped on a tray and she was left..... starving.

Think they should get their damn priorities right.

Aileen xxx

Jill 2011 (aka Warrior Princess of Cilla!)

Jill 2011 (aka Warrior Princess of Cilla!) Report 26 Nov 2008 21:30

That's what we mean Taff - people need to be called by the names that they are known by. These may not be the same as their "official" names. Plus, older people might like to be asked what they prefer to be called.

My ex m-i-l was for most of her life known as Teddy - everyone called her Teddy. Her real name was Doris and I doubt that she would have answered to Doris in hospital (or anywhere else come to that).

Jill

Angela now in Wilts (not North Devon)

Angela now in Wilts (not North Devon) Report 26 Nov 2008 21:28

Jill

I agree. My mum's name is M??? but she is known as J???. If called M??? in hospital she ignores them. Name badges (if correct!) would solve the problem.

I remember, when my mother-in-law was dying, the nurse kept calling her E??????. I thought that's not her name, why are you calling her that? It was her real name, but she was known by another name.

Angela

Taff

Taff Report 26 Nov 2008 21:27

So when I go to visit my 91 year old aunt, in a care home, I cant call her Aunty **** which is her name, even though most days she doesnt know me fron a stranger walking down the hall?
Get a flipping grip!!! these are People with names , not numbers!

Jill 2011 (aka Warrior Princess of Cilla!)

Jill 2011 (aka Warrior Princess of Cilla!) Report 26 Nov 2008 21:25

The staff might know the patients real names but not necessarily know what to call them unless somehow it's made very clear to them.

I can think that agency staff, temporary staff, part-timers might well have trouble keeping up with everyone ...

ChrisofWessex

ChrisofWessex Report 26 Nov 2008 21:24

Had a pre-op form to fill in last week - first thing do you wish to be called Mrs.............. or christian name? Never got asked all this when had my accident end of April - discovered that staff called me by christian name whereas drs/surgeons called me by my married name.

Morleyite

Morleyite Report 26 Nov 2008 21:23

They could call me what they liked as long as the operation went o.k.

InspectorGreenPen

InspectorGreenPen Report 26 Nov 2008 21:22

And why don't staff know the patients real names?

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 26 Nov 2008 21:21

when I went for my pre op meeting the first question I was asked was "What do we call you? What do you prefer?"
I was happy to be called by my first name.
Ann
Glos

Jill 2011 (aka Warrior Princess of Cilla!)

Jill 2011 (aka Warrior Princess of Cilla!) Report 26 Nov 2008 21:20

I think it would depend (in Amanda's post) on how big the care home is and how many staff there are. If there is a high staff turnover it could be difficult for the staff to keep track. If it's a larger home with a high patient turnover the same might apply.

Personally I think name badges would be good. Would save any confusion.

If I am in my confused dotage one day and someone is trying to ask me questions and calling me Gillian I would ignore them anyway in the same way I would ignore it now - so a name badge saying Jill would solve that problem. No worries.

Jill

Angela now in Wilts (not North Devon)

Angela now in Wilts (not North Devon) Report 26 Nov 2008 21:17

I agree with Mildred that everyone should be addressed as Mr ... or Mrs ... whatever initially, and thereafter, by their christian names if the patients so desire.

What concerns me is Amanda's comment - is she suggesting that careworkers/nurses call people 'love' or 'dearie' because they don't know their real names?

Angela