General Chat

Just saw your thread and HAD to post. I love my MIL to bits but good god she can be sooooo annoying...she attention seeks, spreads trouble, tells me our kids will never be as good as her first grandchild..knowing full well we are trying for a baby...we have been married 6 weeks (been together a year and 10 months) and already we have had about 4 rows over his mother being so rude and sometimes plain nasty. I think i married his mother too sometimes......cant wait to move away as we live a five min walk from her. I sympathise with you...my MIL is ill and she uses it as a weapon and a tool to cause arguements....like playing on it so he will basically drop me like a ton of bricks to run to her. Makes me so mad.
Anyway....got that rant over. This is a fab thread means people can have a rant and its with people who understand lol.
Dont let her get you down though lol xxx

Hi Caz love,

my 1st MIL was ok once I'd produced twin grandsons but initially was extremely jealous of me, whenever I went round for Sunday lunch she used to pinch him and go for a chat for about an hour in his bedroom leaving me watching tv with his dad.

My 2nd (& last!) MIL is ace. I love her and respect her and am so proud to have her in my life.

I've also got experience of an interfering ex wife, which was more annoying than GR will allow me to describe, but it doesn't matter now as he's an ex boyfriend and could never have been more than that, because he allowed (and possibly even encouraged) the interference.

In your situation Caz, I think you have to keep your counsel as has already been said. Be honest to yourself and give him a bit of time & space if he needs it just now, & he'll love you all the more.

I can't draw in pixels, but here is a rose for you mate


**** A ROSE **** !!

Maria xxxxx

Yvonne, I know it can be men too, my friends dad is like that. Yes the bit about ' they are only with you to get my money' is VERY hurtful,

Hiya hazel, thats unbelievable,

Claddagh, you must feel very lucky to have had a ex MIL

like that and a family that can be mature after divorce,

Thanks uzzi,

Now Kathleen a intefering ex wife or hubbie { we both have been married before} would be awful!! Iwouldnt bite my tongue there though!

Caz xxx

poor you Kirsty!!

Pmsl Merlin, bet that was a laugh....not!!

Caz xx

Thanks Jill, coming on here is a very good idea!!

Aileen, my Mum is lovely too and treats my OH like her own son,

Thanks Sylvia, your MIL sounded very hard work!

Lol 2 ndoow, like it!

Sheila, thats a big part of the problem, I know some horrid things have been said and constant threats of wills being changed

I have two fantastic daughters in law and a super, super son in law, could any mother want anything more more her children??

BUT.....how about an interfering ex wife..!!!!!!! I don`t count sheep to get to sleep I count how many ways there are of getting rid of her!!!!!!

Thanks all of you, just logged on for a sec, will read the answers carefully tonight,

Caz xxxxx

Caz I feel for you on this one but can't help
All my MIL's have been diamonds in their own way it's my mother who has been the problem my ex couldn't cope with either my mother or my step-mother. OH now just laughs and tries to keep me calm. Mind it does help living in a different country

Have killed yet another thread!

I actually loved my mil, we got on very well.Even when I divorced her son, she continued to treat me like a daughter.When she died in '92, I was invited to the funeral and the 'funeral meats' afterwards, all my (ex) in-laws were very friendly, we had all lost a loved one. She was my 'mother' from when I married her son at 18, and a very good one. I missed her wise advice and still do. I was one of the lucky ones.

Caz my M.I.L. is now dead but when she was alive
we just didnt get on at all , it wasnt so much that she interfered but was always on the the borrow
for money (that we didnt have) , my name was muck if i refused her.. if i asked her to look after her grandson for an hour or two she would charge me for it . where as if it was one of her daughters children she done it for nothing and both her daughters and husbands earned more than my OH.
On occasions when we were at the MIL house if one of the daughters children asked for a sweet yes o.k. sweet heart hear you are , but god help mine if they asked for anything she would say do you think i'm made of money , so in the end i said to OH that i and the chidren wouldn't go round there anymore but i never stopped OH from going , but in the end he got fed up with her and told her what he thought of her treatment of me and the children .
Now both of my sons are married and my daughter
but i do not interfer in any way shape or form in their lives they know where i am if they need me i am always here for them and that also goes for the DIL and SIL i have 8 grandchildren and love them all.
Hazelx

I have a f-i-l from hell!! My OH's mum divorced his dad over 30 years ago but he cannot forgive or forget. fil is very possesive, when I first met OH his dad was all sweetness and light but turned nasty when we decided to get married, said I was only after the money OH would get when he died. He has to be the center of attention and plays the 'I'm not long for this world and I'm an old man' card a bit too often.
OH sees him every day and takes him shopping

I could go on but I would run out of space

x

I,m sure my Ex.MIL,was one of the originals from "Eastwick",**M**.

Caz,

I do and worse still she lives next door!!!!

she even keeps her curtains open a bit so she can see who is coming and going from my house.

she used to have a key and let herself in whenever she wanted till I took it away from her

Kirsty

My husband's step-mother died 2 years ago and I didn't shed a tear. I only knew her for a few years, but she was sweet, smily and nice to your face and then proceeded to stab you in the back - she said some awful things to, and about, OH and his sister.

I'm sure Les Dawson would have come up with a solution.

:-)

my mil's dead now but .............


for the first 18 years after we married, she was fine, plus we lived in Canada and they lived in the UK, so we only saw her over here for 2 or 3 weeks every other year :)))


Then her husband died in 1985, and things changed.


she became the mil from h*ll


Turned out, she had to have someone to blame for anything that went wrong in her life. It had been her husband, but it became ME

We had emigrated in 1967 immediately after our wedding, and came up to Canada in 1968. Husband's sister emigrated to Canada from UK in 1970 ........ told her mother it was for 2 years (fatal!!), but she met someone here and married him.

Stroke number one against me ........... we were responsible for her favourite child leaving her! Not true, because s-i-l would have gone to Australia if we hadn't been here! Also a facer for husband to be told he wasn't her favourite child!!


Fortunately, husband was on my side, otherwise I don't think we would have got through the next 9 or so years.


She told him to divorce me "she's no good for you"

She told him that I had only married him for his money so she was going to write her will so that there was no way I could get my hands on her money if he'd died.


She played us off against his sister and her husband, and vice versa

She played our daughter off against her 3 cousins, and vice versa.


Fortunately ... husband and sis are very good friends, and so are s-i-l and me (her husband died very young)


also fortunately, the 4 cousins are also very good friends


but she could have driven them and us apart.



It made me determined that I would be a good mil when my daughter married.


But, oh dear, I have problems with my s-i-l, and have to really struggle to like him! All I can hope is that I can disguise my feelings, and not behave like my mil did.



wishing you all the best!



sylvia

Never knew my mother in law as she died the year before I met my husband.

By all accounts I think she was a bit like my own mum and I regret never having met her.

Aileen xxx

Tricky one.

When I was not far off marrying my first husband - his mother's opinion mattered to him. I remember saying to him "Look, you're marrying me, not your mother". That helped - a bit!

I shall be lovely to my daughter in law - when my son gets around to marrying someone - so long as she's perfect. LOL.

Trouble is I can see both sides. I would hate to be the MiL from hell, but I am just hoping that when son does settle down I will be able to get along with his woman/wife. That can't be easy - even if she IS perfect.

I think you just have to ride through this - stay calm, offer sympathy and cups of tea when he comes back from visiting her and button your lip if you feel like exploding. Come on here and explode instead!

Jill

I agree Ann, I hope I will be fair with my sons wives, i have been with their girlfriends. i do think , from what i have experienced that the wives parents accept better than the husbands,

I agree Hayley, do you know my MIL lol? What has your experience been?

caz x