General Chat

Thanks Caz xx, at my wits end!!!

mine never has so i've been lucky

what has your mil done?

No Never knew her

Jenxx

avnt gone one soz

Thanks ladies, its a very long story. OH has a difficult relationship with her, shes been ill and in hospital, this has emphasised the problem.

She lost her older son at 17 and hasnt wanted OH to be with anyone, this is creating problems with me and him. Does anyone have a difficult MIL?

Caz xx

Sad she feels like that .She may be ill but can't have the upper hand.Sound like she is being a bit selfish to me.Is it that your OH feel torn between the 2 of you?

this is a problem, but you two must not let it create problems between you, m.i.l has to be made to understand that his priority is you so perhaps you could come to some agreement between the three of you of when its convienant for him to spend time with her, i have 2 sons one married one not and i accept their priority is their wife /partner and would'nt want it any other way they have their own lives to lead, if only she realy thought about it she's being very selfish.
when she's better perhaps she could get involved in something to get a bit of purpose in her life and something more to focus on other than your OH

Nah, aint seen her since me divorce. lol

Ray x

Difficult for you Caz as no doubt at the moment she is playing the 'ill Mother' card and he is falling for it. wait until she is better before trying to sort it. otherwise i doubt you will win.

Ann
Glos

Thankyou all, I have listened to OH a lot recently saying that he doesnt want to see her etc, I have tried to say its best to visit. Now he has gone to the hospital, it all seems ok and becuse im confused he says Im jealous.

Nooooo confused! My parents treat my OH like a son, his Mum treats me like an imposter, its so hard!

Caz xxx

the old saying is
A SON'S A SON TILL HE GETS A WIFE
A DAUGHTER'S A DAUGTER ALL HER LIFE, this can be very true daughters do stick to their mums more but sons have to look out for their new family and hard as that can be mums have to accept it and welcome in the daughter in law sometimes things dont go to smoothly but for the everyones sake you have to make the best of it and keep the piece

as i always say you can think what you like but its mostly best to keep your mouth shut

2 sides to every story

not always some are just to clingy to let go

I agree Ann, I hope I will be fair with my sons wives, i have been with their girlfriends. i do think , from what i have experienced that the wives parents accept better than the husbands,

I agree Hayley, do you know my MIL lol? What has your experience been?

caz x

Tricky one.

When I was not far off marrying my first husband - his mother's opinion mattered to him. I remember saying to him "Look, you're marrying me, not your mother". That helped - a bit!

I shall be lovely to my daughter in law - when my son gets around to marrying someone - so long as she's perfect. LOL.

Trouble is I can see both sides. I would hate to be the MiL from hell, but I am just hoping that when son does settle down I will be able to get along with his woman/wife. That can't be easy - even if she IS perfect.

I think you just have to ride through this - stay calm, offer sympathy and cups of tea when he comes back from visiting her and button your lip if you feel like exploding. Come on here and explode instead!

Jill

Never knew my mother in law as she died the year before I met my husband.

By all accounts I think she was a bit like my own mum and I regret never having met her.

Aileen xxx

my mil's dead now but .............


for the first 18 years after we married, she was fine, plus we lived in Canada and they lived in the UK, so we only saw her over here for 2 or 3 weeks every other year :)))


Then her husband died in 1985, and things changed.


she became the mil from h*ll


Turned out, she had to have someone to blame for anything that went wrong in her life. It had been her husband, but it became ME

We had emigrated in 1967 immediately after our wedding, and came up to Canada in 1968. Husband's sister emigrated to Canada from UK in 1970 ........ told her mother it was for 2 years (fatal!!), but she met someone here and married him.

Stroke number one against me ........... we were responsible for her favourite child leaving her! Not true, because s-i-l would have gone to Australia if we hadn't been here! Also a facer for husband to be told he wasn't her favourite child!!


Fortunately, husband was on my side, otherwise I don't think we would have got through the next 9 or so years.


She told him to divorce me "she's no good for you"

She told him that I had only married him for his money so she was going to write her will so that there was no way I could get my hands on her money if he'd died.


She played us off against his sister and her husband, and vice versa

She played our daughter off against her 3 cousins, and vice versa.


Fortunately ... husband and sis are very good friends, and so are s-i-l and me (her husband died very young)


also fortunately, the 4 cousins are also very good friends


but she could have driven them and us apart.



It made me determined that I would be a good mil when my daughter married.


But, oh dear, I have problems with my s-i-l, and have to really struggle to like him! All I can hope is that I can disguise my feelings, and not behave like my mil did.



wishing you all the best!



sylvia

I'm sure Les Dawson would have come up with a solution.

:-)

My husband's step-mother died 2 years ago and I didn't shed a tear. I only knew her for a few years, but she was sweet, smily and nice to your face and then proceeded to stab you in the back - she said some awful things to, and about, OH and his sister.

Caz,

I do and worse still she lives next door!!!!

she even keeps her curtains open a bit so she can see who is coming and going from my house.

she used to have a key and let herself in whenever she wanted till I took it away from her

Kirsty