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Running Bear - definitely agree - still great!!!
Frosty - thanks for a good laugh - quite a few I hadn't heard before.
Steph xx
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Loved the jokes also frosty
Chris
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pmsl RB
Loved the jokes Frosty
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Kids Are Quick
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ...
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O .
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O .
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is ..
TEACHER: No, Millie ..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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yes RB
def think that version is ore plausable
lol
Bev
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Monty l m a o , wonderful
Chris xx
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After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It's all so beautiful" she replied. "Everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It's these breasts you've given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I'm constantly knocking them with my arms."
She went on to tell Him that since many other parts of her body came
in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc.......she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.
"That is a fair point, but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And He reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part.
You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see............where did I put that useless tit?
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that stuff about the rib?
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