General Chat

What an awful disease Alzheimers is you lose your loved ones twice. Though I did see a programme what a lady and her daughter made about her Mother who suffered. They made it so light hearted and the Mother was really funny and retains her sense of humour.
Davex

Im sure everyone has the same concerns when a loved one is placed its heart breaking.its early days as yet.but I'm sure your fears will go soon.. once you have found his true level of care/.there will be good days and bad for him,but if hes safe warm and given all the care that can be provided for him there,,it will set your mind at rest,and feel less guilt,,,

The care home may welcome any suggestion you have...

Imeda

Sorry I don't have much experience of Alzeimers - apart from my friends Mum - went down hill rapidly from being OK ish last summer to being extreme now & in a home .

Could you not go back to their GP - say you are not happy with care worker & see what he/she suggests?

.

She does deserve some peace. Especially looking after others at the same time. I really send you my best wishes and hope that you are able to get things sorted out.

Thanks Sally,
Until a few years ago, I didn't know much about Alzheimers.
Absolutely heartbreaking what it can do to a family.
The awful thing is, we've all been so worried and we haven't know where to turn to get help and advice. Dad's case worker has proved to be useless so we've more or less got on with it alone.
Mum and I have never argued before, but we've started to just lately. The pressure is enormous.
All I want is for Dad to be happy in his own confused way and for Mum to have some well deserved peace.

I think Shimmers thread is on the Chat board Imelda.

I feel for you I really do. My Mum had Alzheimers and Dad had got to the same stage, but she died last year before he had to go down this route. He's 79, so it was getting very hard for him, but he loathed the thought of being parted. They'd been married for 45 years when she died. She was only 63.

Thank you for advice and hugs (I certainly feel I need them).
Shimmer - can't find your thread - where is it pls?
xxx

Hun (hugs)

Thread called Abuse in Care Homes, come through, pls. Help support advice listening ear, bro was assaulted in one last week - was dreadful, got it sorted.

Not only about abuse - got nurses/carers, families, everyone on there.

xxx

Thanks to you all for your replies.
Perhaps after the meeting at the home next week, we'll feel a bit better. We don't want to complain, we know that the staff do their best in the circumstances. Even the thought of finding another home for Dad is very stressful. When viewing last time round, we saw some pitiful places and the memories of them won't go away.
It would also probably be very fraught for Dad to have to move again and get used to a new place.
I hope we can get this sorted soon and have a little peace of mind.

I know how you feel..............Mum has Alzheimers too and is in a home.

Until we made the decision for Mum I had vowed never ever to "put her in a home."

We had absolutely no choice either, but it doesn't stop the hurt, grief or pain and emptiness that follows.

I know Mum is in the best place for her..................the staff make the home, not the surroundings or activities.

If your Dad's home has a friendly feel to it and the staff show you and your family, as well as your Dad friendship and support ..............it is the right place for him.

Alzheimers is a cruel disease that slowly takes our loved ones away from us and we can do nothing to stop that, but by visiting your Dad and keeping as much contact with him as possible, you are doing the right thing for both him and yourselves.


xx

Having worked in Care Homes for a number of years before slightly changing career, I understand what you mean. We all have activity sheets, but sometimes staff shortage or the circumsances of the day prevent this happening. Are there any volunteers around your area who could offer some sort of stimulant. We had a lady with her dog coming in, another lady with chair exercises, locaal children singing. Perhaps you could ask about any such groups in the area. It is hard to find something that keeps the residents attention, I found old films and cd's a hit. Good luck to your Mum and Dad XX..

My heart goes out to you all.

I hope you can get some more positive news when you have your meeting.

(((Hugs)))

Linda

My Dad has Alzheimers and had to go into a care home a few weeks ago. My Mum wasn't happy about it, but she realized she couldn't cope with Dad at home. Poor Mum was getting worn out, she's seventy years old herself , has my disabled brother living at home and is also caring for my Nan who's ninety four.
A care home was the only option for Dad, but now he's there, we're tearing ourselves apart over it.
When we first viewed the home, it seemed a nice place, the answer to our prayers, but now we're not so sure.
Having to put a loved one into a home is never an easy decision to make, but we thought it was for the best.
We were told that they had a programme of activities for the residents every week, but so far we know of only one morning where this happened. We visit Dad every day and every time we go in, he's wandering the corridor or slumped in front of the tv. He has always been a very active man, but now he seems so bored.
He can get aggressive, but I'm sure this is just frustration because he's fed up.
Most of the other residents just shuffle around or sleep in armchairs.
I'm terrified that Mum will just bring Dad home, because I know she won't cope.
We looked at all of the other homes in our area and this one , seemed the best.
In most other ways this home is very good. Excellent food, pleasant surroundings, but just not enough mental stimulation.
We are going to a meeting next week at the home, so we'll talk about this with them.
Is it possible to find a home that meets your criteria 100%?
I'm worried sick about it.