General Chat

i agree with tory i all so have two children with autism and adhd and i do try to leave them at home but its not always posable as i know it will be a nitgh mere to take them shopping and there are people like you out there that just assume they are naughtbut they ant its just they dont understand the world the same way you do and as to smacking them you could be done for child abuse now for that so even normal kids pearnt hands are tide so all they are left with is to yell at the child.and i ask any of you to try and controle my eldest son when he lose control as he's phisicaly strenth doubles and he is no small lad so he is very hard to control and yes mum may have been at the end of her tether and i know how that feels so you do walk away not only for your sack but also the childs.
sam

Hi All Again,
I did not abandon the thread, Had a family emergency to deal with , all sorted now though.

Re the thread.: It has bee very interesting to read your views and comments made throughout. many differing thoughts and ideas as how to cope/handle/control with children when they have tantrums/outbursts/wobbles etc

Thank you for your interest

Paul:-)

Thread ends

well said devon, my mum says that all the time, these shops are just large cany stores............... lol
paul, sorry to hear you cant have any, never give up, maybe foster.......
as for tantrums, so many reasons, i do the same as tania, see a child or baby crying, i always say how dou do.... lol and comment they have lovely eyes or curly hair, always give the mum a smile......
my boys autistic and dyspraxic......... so simply, if i gave him food to eat roll/bun he'd drop it....... then came the screaming.. same if drop toy while out............ never ending............ awell.
xxx

hummmm could that be something to do with the fact that 50+ years ago there were no big supermarkets and the shops had far far less to temp the children with anyway?

I have been reading this thread through, and I have tried to cast my mind back 50 years or more and I dont remember seeing children behave like that. I am wondering if all these problems are modern, or if in the 'good old days' such children were put into a mental institution?
Perhaps the lead in petrol fumes are affecting children more now (more traffic) or it could even have been the pregnant mum ingesting the fumes and affecting the foetus. Or perhaps modern additives in food. Just thinking aloud to myself. I have an enquiring mind.
ps, my children usually behaved when they were out. I say usually because there was one occasion when my young daughter surprised me. I had gone to town on the bus. Daughter (about 3/4) was unhappy, had been unhappy in the night. I went in to a dentist as I thought it might be her teeth. Sure enough she had one bad tooth which had to come out. To my great surprise she was fine almost immediately afterwards, but when I went into a shop to look at things she was running around, behind the counter, pulling out drawers. Normally she just stuck with me. At least there were no tantrums.
Huia.

Cumfifolda used to do a lovely mother facing pushchair that folded flat instantly, sadly no longer made. I hunted all over e-bay for an 'antique' one when my grandsons were born. I did find a Silver Cross one that could go either way and nearly flat too, in a charity shop, it served my youngest grandson for a long time. It was sturdy enough for shopping without tipping too.
Obviously you have to be careful buying second hand. We had to go on the train, or an hours drive, mainly on single track roads, to the main town, but our village had a shop and Post Office so we were quite lucky.
Eileen

I don't think there is a magic answer Kemp.

As I just said the same child can behave differently according to the occasion and to the adult in charge. They can behave differently if they think they can get away with it. A child in a class who knew they were going to be with the teacher for a year would probably be better behaved than if a supply teacher were in for the day.

There do seem to be some people whose parenting skills are not as good as they might be but, as has been said, it isn't always possible to see which child has problems or which is just being naughty.

Sue

Yes Tory I so agree ......but as a Childrens nanny ...I kinda know that ....

Just wanted to see what our x RAF policeman would have come up with having complained about childrens behavoiur !!!

it would seem pablo has been putting threads up all day and in the most not coming back
Kemp there is no easy answer all children are individuals and if you can find a way that works use it but as we all know when they have special needs it makes the job much harder

It might be a good thread but

I asked
HOW DO WE CONTROLL THEM ?


but no one answered .......

Yes Paul... nice thread.... thank you for deserting it (mostly) and letting us change the direction somewhat, lol!

Love

Daff xxx

I have to say that despite a child needing to be told when it is wrong, I hate to see children slapped. So often the child has a point to make, it may need the loo, be thirsty, or simply want to show its parent something - parent all too often has no time for the child, does not listen, and when pressed simply reacts with a slap. A particular place to see this is in large DIY stores at weekends.
However there are times when it is not totally the parent's fault, sometimes the kiddie is just being 'plain ordinary' as they say in America. Then you really have to do something.
My youngest son, aged about four at the time, did throw a mega wobbly in a shoe shop once. I have to say that his older sister was being a great trial to us all in making a choice. Young son was not going to give up with quiet reasoning, he knew what he was doing. I asked the assistant for a glass of cold water, she got it quickly, to her surprise I emptied it over my son's head. He went quiet immediately, older daughter chose her shoes, and rather wetly we went on our way. So much better than a slap. I only ever had to do this twice, the other time being in our own kitchen..................
it was quick, a shock, but no lasting damage to my child or feelings of guilt for me if I had slapped him.
Eileen
birth name

My brother was the same as your sister....................when he had his own, he shut up!! LOL

Not knocking pablo but it is amazing how many people, who have never had children, think they know better than you how to raise yours. My sister is like that, I love her to bits, BUT she does like to say "if they were mine, I would??" well they're not they are mine, and when you have know what you're talking about call me.

grrrrrrr

Over the years I've been a primary teacher, a mum and now a Guide Leader.

I've had to deal with some really awkward kids but it does seem to me that the majority of children are able to suit their behaviour to the occasion. I have taught some really difficult kids (some quite nasty with it) but I noticed that when I was a regular class teacher it was so much easier to control awkward children than when I later did supply teaching.

The difficult ones who probably would have behaved if I'd been their usual teacher could be most unpleasant if I was just there for the day. That's really depressing if you are doing your best and have deliberately taken in fun things to do.

As a mum I noticed my younger child was so much more difficult to control than the other one. Fortunately she only tried a tantrum in a shop once. It was the local village store and she started demanding sweets. I calmly handed back the things I was going to buy to the shopkeeper (a friend) and said I was sorry but we weren't shopping today. We walked home and I told my daughter that would happen every time she made a scene. It never happened again.

In Guides we rarely get very badly behaved girls but we do get awkward ones from time to time. I did have to expel one a few years ago because she was a danger to the other girls rushing around with scissors! We had coped for a long time but that was the final straw. I had wondered about her though because she was overheard to say to others that she could do what she liked because she had ADHD.

At the moment there are some lads in our village whose behaviour is tiresome to say the least. They are banging on doors and windows of the hall where my Guides meet and making a nuisance of themselves hanging around outside and swearing at the neighbours. I'd like to throw a bucket of cold water over them but I rather think that might lead to retaliations! My severest put on teacher voice didn't work on them last week. :(

Some kids have problems, some are bored and irritating and others are just not very nice people.

Sue

Thanks Julie, lol

I'd also like to make a point here that there is no criticism of the parents who use these type of buggies etc They have no choice!! Believe you me... I searched and searched for my granddaughters....

there are many that do forward facing ones for the newborn babies... but they are soon out of that and the next stage up you have to have the baby facing away from you.

I contacted Mothercare, and also some of the more popular makers at the time... and I know that Mothercare now do one at least... French make and in the highest price bracket, but that is a start!

Love

Daff xxx

good for you kitty
susan well said

Like you said on one of your replys you don't know how hard it is to control kids as you do not have any, i hate shopping with mine as it stresses me out and feel like throwing a tantrum myself

ahh but Paul.....how would you know whether the child you mentioned had them or not?

Susan
;)

Temper tantrums are a fact of life with almost all children..................no matter what type of parenting they have.

All of mine have had one or two tantrums while out, each time I picked them up and carried them outside the shop and waited until they ran out of steam before giving them a cuddle.

Any person who tutted at me or gave me a dirty look got a right glare from me and scuttled off! lol

xx