General Chat

I expect that most people here have visited their local records offices, family history centre or whatever. I wonder if you find the same as me.....?

Invariably, there is someone sitting at a micro film reader that annoys the hell out of you. With me, it is always a middle aged woman, rather large (OK – fat), who wears either a crushed velvet jogging outfit or a football team shell suit that is too big. Sensible shoes complete the outfit. A mass of untamed straw hair with the roots dyed black compliment a face like a boxer sucking a lemon, with large very thick glasses.

Ok – you got the picture.....?

So, every 5mins 17 seconds a loud exhalation of breath followed by a YESSSSSSSSSSS, which sounds like a black mamba about to strike, is uttered, jut loud enough for everyone to hear. 3 mins 46 seconds later, it’s an official press release – ‘I have been looking for this one for years’.

Now is the time to avoid eye contact at all costs. A seconds’ lapse will condemn you to a 3 hour long lecture on how Uncle Fortescue had 3 kinds and one of them turned out to be a footman at Lord WInkelpickers cousin’s summer holiday cabin at Margate.
Any attempt to interrupt is met with a raising of the voice to drown all protests out.

She knows the staff by their first names and looks round to see who is looking when she asks for a copy of the shoe buckle tax returns from 1753.

Are there people like this in every records office?

You spotted me then Eldrick........

Damn ... rumbled

Def so lol

I feel the phrase 'sexist pig' coming onto the thread!

What about all the old coots then? Huh huh?

Eldrick........dont i know you from somewhere,?:}}}

Yeah Sue - good point - the old men mutterers who scratch their crotches - what about them then?

yep its me even down to the straw hair lol

That's them, last night's dinner down the tie, cordouroy trousers, permanent drip on end of nose (bound to drop on the record page you want),

Personally, I think it is very weak and unimaginative response to try to have a go at us gentlemen who quietly and politely use the facilities with no fuss at all.


:-)

Afraid so Eldrick.......and a good description too,but you missed out on the pencil hanging from mouth and fingers full of 'gold'rings ;O)

elderick

shakes my finger

i have met some lovely people

at the records office

regardless of their looks or size

Raises voice to drown out the others* You were there last week then Eldrick????

But I must point out that the hair colourway is the wrong way around....


*air kisses Eldricks cheeks* He is SUCH a lovely boy... we are related, you know... through the Marmaduke-Fortescue-Smythes.

Love

Duchess Daff

I have never never never worn senseable shoes .....ever

Just shoes would be a good starting point

changes shoes to stiletos

will this do

Eldrick,

Did you just call me weak and uninmaginative?
Checks spelling!

*takes of specs and tightens screws in hip, sticks DVD of Henry Cooper in player for a quick refresher*

Gentlemen ??

look at all this indignation. methinks the protests are too loud..........

shall we whisper then