General Chat

I always feel guilty if I ask my parent sor sister to have them for the evening and never book anything til I know they can do it.

Even feel guilty asking friend to take tiddler to school or pick her up when I cant manage it even though I know she is more than willing and would rather pick her up than have me suffer with more pain and exhaustion.

I dont know about looking after children, my moan is a neighbour who has cats and expects me and my pal to look after them for days on end. when she goes away. We would'nt mind but there is no cat flap, so it ends up with not only feeding and watering them, but clearing out litter trays as well.

We have now said, any holiday over a week she must put them in a cattery.

It's just the opposite for us now we're great grandfolks, have grandson 9 lives too far away for us to day mind or baby sit and our 6 year old great granddaughter lives next door to her gran and grandad, our daughter who does the honours if required. we miss all this and do feel a bit left out nowadays but can please ourselves what and when we do things can't have it all ways can you?

I dont do child minding for my lot,my health doesn't let me. They all respect me enough to make other arrangements.

Maddyxx

OMG I'm glad I haven't got any children or grandchildren! If my 3 step-children ever produce (doesn't look very likely at the moment), I shall make it clear that we are NOT unpaid babysitters on demand (none of them live nearby anyway so it's unlikely, lol!)

We didn't have this problem as both our children live a couple of hours away. We did use to have our 3 grandsons for weekends at their place or for a week in the holidays here when they were younger, no need now as they are 16, 18 and 19. We also go to look after the younger two occasionally for a long weekend or a week while the parents are away, but they don't take advantage and are not upset if we can't do it.

Ann
Glos

My Mum used to look after my two in school holidays so I could go out to work and pick them up from school for me...............

She would take them away on holiday and let them sleep over...........

But I always had to let her know in advance and if she had previoulsy arranged something then I had to make alternative arrangments

My kids miss their Nan so much and fondly remember all the fun times they had with her

I now look at my kids and realise that my Mum played a big part in making them who they are today ...................

But that said she would say " no " at times and I knew never to plan anything without asking her first

i've just showed this thread to my mum and she was so shocked by some of the answers.......her view is that before long our two girls will be grown up and doing their own thing and that she and my dad are only too happy to look after the girls.......although saying that i always ask if they mind looking after and i dont mind if they say no....which they have done.

Our girls stay at my mum and dads house every friday night and have done so since they were babies.

Karen x

Hi All, Saying NO isn't all that difficult now. For the first time I have said it. The wife said "We're having the family for dinner tomorrow" (Sunday). I told her, that's the last time, next Sunday we have proper food. John.......

I told my Son and his wife before their children were born. I won't mind baby sitting for you but if it interfers with our social life then I'm sorry but you will have to find someone else or forfeit going out. My Grandchildren are 6 and 9 and only once have I had to say no to Babysitting as we had organised to go out that night. But they were OK about it and cancelled their outing.
Nip it in the bud before the children are born I say.

I love looking after my Grandchildren but happily I am not taken for granted. I usually get at least 2 weeks notice of Babysitting.
It's not too late John tell them because you are older you still have a life. Also from now on you would like plenty of notice if you are to Babysit as you and your wife may have made other arrangements.

Hayley I wouldn't slate you I totally agree with you.
Although I still enjoy having my Grandchildren

Good Luck John
Regards
Jackie

Hi Jackie - I'm always a little concerned about that word - "Offending"...The grandchildren and Gt. grandchildren love being here, so who do I upset.?.Now I'm beginning to sound like a wimp !!
John..

John,
well done,,,,,,if you have made arrangemnets yourself to be elsewhere,then NO shouldnt be taken as a finale or that you never want to do it ,it means that its unforunate you cant that night/weekend,,,,,just have a nice word with them and say,,if you know in advance you want to go out can you please check with us just to make sure we will be home,,,,,,simple,,,

my children & I never just assume and we both respect each others life,,,,,,and they know I adore my g/children to hell and back ,dont mean saying NO you are loving them less,,,,,


Take the wife out next week and let the family know tomorrow that you are going out just the both of you,,,,,,,,,,!!

Good advice Kay - cheers John.

Some friends of ours have 13 grandchildren from their 4 children. One of their daughters tended to take the mickey a lot when it came to our friends babysitting for her children. This is how they cured it.

As soon as they had made arrangements to go anywhere they phoned their daughter and said "Could you do us a favour please. Could you babysit the kids on Friday night as we are going out."

It took a couple of times for the penny to drop with her but she asks an awful lot less now.

It's a bit of a jokey/cheeky way to do it, but it's always worth a try. It might just work.

Dianne xx

You know Dianne - that could just work !!! ..
John..

One of the advantages of not driving - I can't drop everything and babysit!!!
Over the years I have occassionally had my (now 6 yr old) grand daughter to stay - but that's because she wants to stay and I want her to, and we have to arrange it around her very busy social life!!!
Fortunately my daughter's partner's mum doesn't work outside her home, so is more than willing to drop everything - not that they are asked to very often, and her daughter and husband absolutley adore having my grand daughter - they try to take her every Saturday!!!

To be honest, my dughter sometimes wonders how spoilt her daughter is when she disappears into the arms of doting relations!!

maggie