General Chat

Gazebo has survived its frist day of gales. :-D

I wonder if it was because I said we had'nt heard from Many on the thread Vera? The woods and ponds are here in Devon so you sound like you were in the right place for me at least. Not sure about us all being there though! Its funny what you dream sometimes is'nt it?

Ann I have pm'd you.

Hang in there Gill, you are doing really well. I won’t speculate more about Michelle’s motives or try to offer too much advice as I obviously don’t know all the ins and outs of the situation and what has happened in the past but you seem to be doing all the right things. I assume your OH adopted Sandra? I hope everything can get sorted out quickly so you can be reassured that Sandra is being given the right care and you can see her frequently and in time have her back with you <3 <3

OH got back OK a little earlier than I expected. We had our roast and then he did all the clearing up. Since then he has been hovering around me, offering to make me cups of tea and fetch pillows for my back. I could get used to this pampering :-D

Ann, we did have some heat patches but we seem to have run out so I’ll get a couple in the morning. By the way, thanks for telling me about the Angel’s Blush Lychnis. I googled it and think it’s very pretty so I might get hold of one anyway. I am sure I will find a spot for it somewhere. I’ve only seen the magenta coloured one before.

Well done on finding your scissors and Christmas pressies Mel. Isn’t it odd when things disappear for weeks and then suddenly reappear in a really strange place? Oh, it’s the postmark which says Chester which made me think my card came from Gill.

I’m doing this on my iPad and I have just noticed it’s really low on charge. As I have a couple of library books on it and I’ll want to be reading later I had better go and plug it in. Hope you all have a good night’s sleep and sweet dreams.

Saying “sweet dreams” has reminded me of a dream I had recently that I meant to tell you about. We (the people on this thread) had all met up in some rural area. There were fields and woods and ponds and we were all calling out and hunting around because we had lost Mandy. The weird thing was that I knew who you all were but you had no faces. I was getting more and more upset because we couldn’t find Mandy anywhere. I woke up at that point. What on earth made me dream that :-S?

Oh my goodness Mel!!! Fancy you finding them and the magnetic tray would be great for your OH. Christmas all over again.......he'll have to get you some more clay and dies!! lol I'm still hopeful I'll find my stick, especially when I empty out some drawers again!

They were in the charity bag because when I bring the shopping in with presents underneath I go in the uti room and he had walked in so I bunged them in the nearest black bag and can remember saying to myself "I shall never remember where they are". Then when he is in bed I usually transfer them to my usual place behind the chimney breast in a Morrisons bag but I must have been tired and forgot to do it.

Survived the chicken run.

Afternoon All,

Gill it sounds as if you have given up on Sandra coming home already. Obviously Sandra must have basic care, but doesn't Michelle need a reality check about how her life will be now and why should you assist and make it easy for her in this cruel thing she has done. She needs to find out how hard it can be through experience, just like you did. I know it's hard, but if things go a bit badly for them, they will realise sooner that looking after Sandra isn't a piece of cake and she is more likely to come back to you if she doesn't like it there. Just as they want to get a house too, and Sandra's contribution and the Carer's Allowance will help, never mind that they have taken money income from you at the same time! It sounds more like their financial planning than concern about Sandra to me. Have you asked where they plan to move to....further away still? After I asked and found out that only Michelle had a little part time work, I wrote in my post last night that it seemed like money was the motive, but deleted it as it seemed mean. Now I wonder!

If I had been Social Services I would have thought for them to help Sandra find some way to join a group or have a social life where she is would be the first step, before considering uprooting her from all she has ever known and moving her such a distance from her parents and their support. The way it has happened doesn't add up.

I think I more or less guessed you didn't cope with going far Gill and I sympathise and understand how difficult travelling to see Sandra would be, but that makes it all the worse what Michelle has done as she knows this. Only seeing Sandra 3 times a year doesn't sound enough. Surely there is a mobility component in Sandra's PIP that covers her travel needs? I hope you will have some more promising news after your phone call tomorrow.

About her part ownership of your home. When you sell up to move, if that goes ahead, I presume she will receive her share of the value of your property after her share of the mortgage is deducted?

I remembered in the early hours that our glass topped table was still on the patio in the middle and got up to see if it had blown over but it was ok. Then I looked out of the window on the front to see if the Pine tree was alright and it was.

I must have no brains as I went out to get milk and the papers. There were a few tree branches down that had been pulled onto the verges and a big plastic planter was in the gutter. I then decided to drive to the factory shop, 17 miles away, but avoided the lane by the golf course as it is narrow with some huge trees each side and went the main road route instead. When I got out of the car the wind nearly took the door out of my hand and my hair looked like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz!! Just after I got home it got really squally and thrashed it down with rain, but it is dry and calm now. Like Mel I tried to get a photo, but the rain on the window was all I got.

Sorry you have had a bad back Vera and I hope it gets a bit easier soon. Your friend's saying is one that OH often says if I complain about aches or pains! Have you tried those heat patches on your back? Since Jane told me about them a few years ago I keep some handy as they are good. Yes I think your OH will have struggled walking in this wind. It was enough for me getting from the car to the shop and everyone inside seemed to have the same mohican hairstyle as me!! lol.

I hope James manages to enjoy the concert Jane, Is Fitz busy as it sounds more like something he might enjoy? If it is as calm where you are as it is here now they should be fine. Good luck with your consultant appointment tomorrow

Frank the wind earlier would have blown you over so you have been in the best place inside. Your lamb dinner sounds nice, my favourite, although you rarely see it on menus around here. How is she doing with the poppies? I keep picturing you covered in them from head to toe. I have a pattern and keep meaning to do me a beaded one. It hadn't occurred to me about the chinese shop owners being back in China for their New Year.

Mandy the wind would have blown the little ones over so best they stayed put. Have you started on any of those crochet patterns in the books you got yet? I hope you make a maggot at some stage as I'm dying to see one!

Mel, there you are, you knew those presents would turn up. But why in the charity bag? curiouser and curiouser"
Hope you have not done a Mary Poppins while sorting the chickens.

Gill, I need to re-read your post again as I got confused. I assume that Michelle needs to be able to open a bank account for Sandra so that her disability money (Not sure what it is called now DVLA, or PIP) can be paid in. But doesn't Sandra already have a bank account so wouldn't need to open a new one. Or is it for the carers money? Sorry I am confused as I didn't know Sandra was adopted. however, one thing doesn't alter, as adoptive parents you are her legal guardians and she is a vulnerable adult so it seems to me that, unless you wish it, she should not be taken off by Michelle to live with them. And, as a vulnerable adult Sandra is not really capable of giving her permission I don't think because she would not understand all the problems and ins and outs.

It sounds as if your anxiety has caused you to be mildly agraphobic. I had a friend (sadly she died last year), who developed this through anxiety when she was 13. She managed to control it by always having a safe place or safe person in her mind. e.g. their car was her safe place if they went out so, as long as she could get back easily to her car she felt safe. I think the suggestion is to start (as the doctor says) by going out as far as the front gate, then a few steps further at a time stopping and returning when you start to feel unsafe. And doesn't your OH help you with this. I wonder if there are any support groups in your area? Yes, you definitely need to speak to a social worker. <3 <3

I am just about to venture out to the chickens again to give them some corn. If I don't get back on here you'll know I have been blown away.

Go on AnnG you know you want to carry on with your crochet now you have managed a bit looser. I did a lot of crochet when I was younger. Blanket for my son in lovely blue and white for his carry cot and blankets for the dogs, holly leaves and even did some macrame'. In fact I have had a go at most crafts in my life.

Vera the card may be from me as I posted it with Mandy's by mistake!! I was going to wait a bit to send yours. There again I see there is another card on my pile and it has a lot of diamonds on it so I can guess who thats from. xxx

I meant to say yesterday while putting some things away IFOUND THE OTHER TWO PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!! plus two more! so oh had Christmas all over again. I had put them in the bag for the charity shop so as I was putting something else in there for them I opened the black sack and there they were on the top of the things already in there. The one I really wanted him to have was a magnetic tray that you put nuts and bolts in when taking things apart. He is always dropping bits and pieces and can't bend to pick them up. When he saw it he said he had never had one of those before so I am so pleased I found it at last. See Ann there's still hope for your pc stick. :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

I've had a horrible day so far, been on the phone to Michelle and mum. I spoke with Sandra who complained at a few things about Michelle and Michael, saying that they took her to a Tropical place with butterflies which she enjoyed until she started feeling sick and hot, she asked Michelle if she could leave the place but Michelle said we've only got to go to there, Sandra asked again and it was only on the second time of asking that Michelle took her outside where it was cooler. Apparently according to Sandra she hadn't had anything to eat all day apart from a chocolate bar.

I'm not very happy with the way they're not feeding her properly as when I rang them today at around a quarter to one she still hadn't had anything to eat and had had a hot bath, luckily this time she didn't feel ill, but I wish they would sort out proper meals for her. They also haven't bought her a phone yet, so when I mentioned it they said they would buy her one tomorrow, this I'm looking forward to as I may be able to speak with Sandra on our own without Michelle and Michael listening in.

Sandra also complained about her bedroom as it was a junk room for Michelle stuff, she said that they said they would empty the room of all Michelle things but had kept letting her down day after day, she said her bed was in the middle of the room with all Michelle's stuff around it. I've now found out Michelle is making a start on clearing the room.

Another thing Michelle mentioned was that her and Michael are saving to buy a house, so now I'm wondering if that's why they want Sandra there to maybe take her money to pay towards the new property, I could be wrong though, but it does look that way.

I did mention because Sandra is part owner of this place that Sandra, by law, still has to pay a few bills, for example her share of the council tax and insurance's, I think, but will have to look into this, she may not have to pay anything towards the contents insurance once everything that belongs to her has been taken out, but I think she's still be responsible for her share of the buildings insurance and any maintenance that needs doing on the building, so all in all she'll need to pay for her share of the council tax, the buildings insurance and the maintenance, I could be wrong so will have to check it out.

I spent about an hour and a half trying to help Michelle with all Sandra's needs and explaining how she can get overly excited or angry and can lash out with anger and how to calm her down if she ends up that way. I forgot to tell her that she might run away if she gets to upset. I did mention that Sandra after an episode of anger doesn't remember anything about it and that she can kick out, she's done this to me in the past, but she doesn't realise she's doing it so it could be a shock to Michelle if it happens to her. The best way to sort that situation out is to try and talk her down calmly. There are so many things I couldn't remember them all so I just told Michelle to ring me if she needs some advice or help as that's all I can do from so far away.

After all I've had almost 35 years experience whereas she's just starting to have the responsibility of an adult with special needs. It's not easy and she will need help, so I'm going to voice my concerns to social Services tomorrow as I'd like them to keep an eye on Michelle and Michael and of course Sandra to make sure Sandra's basic needs are met as she needs to eat regularly and have her own proper personal space like a bedroom.

Hopefully Michelle and Michael will cope okay but they're going to have to hit the ground running so to speak as they don't really have time to adjust with Sandra being an adult and quite strong, she will lash out and shout, which can be quite frightening even to me when I'm used to it, so will be worse for them. I just hope they don't shout back at her or smack her.

Like I've said I've told Michelle to calmly talk her down as that should work, but sometimes it doesn't and you just have to wait for her to calm herself down. It's going to be very hard for them so I hope they're all going to be okay.

The main problem at the moment is we can't find her birth certificate and they can't get another one because she was adopted which we can't remember the exact date she was adopted on or where, we think it was around 1991 to 1993 in Chester so I've told Michelle this.

Without a birth certificate they can't organise her money as they need proof of identity so Sandra can gain access to her bank account. Her money was transferred to our account so the bills could be paid and the rest we draw out for her so she could buy what ever she wanted. She couldn't remember a pin number so didn't have a bank card, so doing things the way we did them suited her.

I'm pretty sure I can't transfer her money onto our account and pass it onto her now without her permission and a legal document to show I'm allowed. I've mentioned this to Michelle as I said I could then transfer it to Michelle's account for any expenses they need to cover for Sandra now, but she wasn't keen on that. So at the moment Sandra can't access her money and neither can I.

I've sugested that Michelle goes to the one stop shop for advice on Sandra's money in the morning and the citizens advice about how to obtain a copy of her adoption so they can obtain a new birth certificate for her.

In the meantime I'm going to ring the carers allowance and sort my side of things out, then contact Social Services to see if they can do anything about the concerns I have about Sandra's basic needs and also about access for her to see us as Michelle said she'd only bring her here 3 times a year as petrol is so expensive.

I've got anxiety and have problems going out, I'm on meds for depression and I need to make a call tomorrow for help with going out. The doctor told me to do small outings at first then build up to longer ones, so at the moment travelling to Leeds from here is just to much for me, which makes going to visit Sandra out of the question for the time being. I'm hoping Social Services will be able to arrange someone to bring her to us for a visit and maybe Sandra can stay over night and go back the following day so we can see her for a decent length of time, but I will have to see if that's possible.

Hopefully in time everything will be sorted and everyone will be settled into a new routine. So long as Sandra is being fed and looked after properly that's all I care about, I just want Sandra to be happy, but I am concerned that Michelle and Michael don't realise what a responsibility they've taken on yet. They've got a long road ahead of them and lots to learn.

Well son got here this morning and apparently had no trouble on the roads as it was very quiet, so everyone being sensible. We had a nice lunch together (his treat as usual) and they dropped us off and went straight on at about ten past two. It is only just over an hour to Haye on Wye, depending if the roads are clear. Hopefully he will let us know when they get there. They are staying in a luxury 'Pod' which is one of four in a field. It looks very nice, quite big with a hot tub (outside). Should be fun. They don't seem bothered by the weather.

Grandson is not now going to China, he emailed us last night. He is hoping to find a job in Milton Keynes to get some money so that he can return to Guatemala for a few months. Until he goes with his family in August to Florida for 3 weeks (Dad paying of course). He will then look for another job abroad somewhere and is apparently speaking about Japan.

Vera, I do hope your OH is safely home soon, silly man, he should realise that you are cross because he has worried you. Sorry you have a bad back, hope that clears up soon.

Jane, shame you can't go with Chris, although maybe you are a teeny weeny bit relieved if it is him not you who enjoys that music? Enjoy your 'me' time after your yummy sounding lunch and have a good rest, busy week this week.

Frank, nice to have lovely roast lamb to look forward to. I considered having the roast lamb at the beefeater but fancied the fish and chips and it was really lovely and too much for me, sticky toffee pudding between us was nice afterwards as well.

Mandy, shame you won't see your son but safer for them not to venture out unnecessarily.

Mel I wonder who the dog belongs to? Poor thing out in that weather and without a collar. Hope the chooks are OK.

Annx Yes I like the Lichen photo, fascinating to see all the different little plants in it. I also like the bark.
Not sure I will tackle the crochet again today, may leave it until tomorrow. I really tried to loosen the tension and the second lot was better so I hope it will be onwards and upwards next time.

Gill <3 <3 <3 <3

" OH WHAT A NIGHT IT WAS."Good afternoon to you all,

Gill I won't linger on your troubles. The advise you have been given by the girls, is far better than anything I could say/Add. Thinking of you, ad trust things get sorted tomorrow. xxxx

Jane I am sure the "BOYS" will be fine, providing there are no trees down on the A 43. We have got the rain also, and the WIND is something I have't experienced since being lost at sea in a gale force 10. I would hope the people who live close to the coast, stay well back from the sea front. I.m sure the sight will be something to remember.

Good old Ros, has done all the veg for dinner tonight. I got a nice piece of Lamb out of the freezer yesterday, so not a lot for me to do.

We had a call from Jonathan this morning asking if we needed any shopping, and to see if we were safe. What a thoughtful lad he is. Bless him.

Our favourite Chines Takeaway was closed last night. I tried at leat 15 times to telephone them with our order, but no reply. We decided to drive down to see if they were open and it might have been trouble with their phone. It was all shut up. We called at another takeaway to get a meal, I asked if they knew why they were closed, and it appears they went to China for their NEW YEARS Celebrations and are STUCK THERE under Quarantine . So their business won't be opened for at leat two weeks.

I do hope you are safe and sound, tucked up in a nice warm home. I know we are, and won't be attempting to go anywhere today.

Love to you all, see you later. xxxx

My Father worked out doors in all weathers for Wimpey. Half the year he'd be
wearing a donkey jacket and rubber boots. Many younger men wouldn't do it.

You crept in there Jane without me noticing :-)

I had also wondered about the money angle once I realised Michelle and boyfriend weren’t working full time but I hope that’s not the case and that Michelle has done this out of concern for her sister, however misguided she is.

I think they will be ok Mel. James will drive and work out a good route first. The wind may have died down a bit by the time they go. James paid a lot of money for the tickets(it was Chris's Xmas present) so they reallt dont want to waste them. Obviously if the weather is so bad then they may change their mind.

This roast is smelling so good right now :-D.The Turkey is a roulade so has nice stuffing in the middle. Lemon and Herb Potatoes ,Carrots, Parsnips ,Green Beans and Yorkshires.Mmmmmm! :-D

Good afternoon

Your son has got more sense than my OH Mandy. He has gone out to meet his friend. He’s walking rather than driving but he’ll be struggling to stay upright. It may not be accurate but according to my weather app we’re currently getting gusts of about 64 mph and this should go up to 70 mph about the time he is coming home. I’ve made my feelings on the subject of him going out very clear!!

Mel, I forgot to mention your snowdrops the other day. They are lovely and you have so many. They must look an absolute picture when they are all in bloom.

I love your moon pictures as well Jane. You could almost enter them for Ann’s “textures” competition. I’ll be thinking of you on Tuesday and hope the after effects of the chemo aren’t too bad this time.

Ann, I hope your OH’s cough is improving day by day and that he doesn’t pass it on to you. These coughs can sometimes hang around for weeks before they clear up.

Gill, I have received a birthday card which I haven’t opened but I am pretty sure it’s from you. I am very touched that you took the time to post it when you have more than enough things to think about at the moment. Thank you. I’ll also echo the advice given to you already - let your own social services know what’s been going on. They will presumably have a record of Sandra’s needs and can perhaps liaise with the social services in Leeds and, if necessary, with the police. Make it clear that your only concern is that Sandra is happy where she is and that her needs are being met. If you are not sure who to speak to Citizens’ Advice may be able to help you. I know it will be very difficult but try and stay calm and come on here whenever you need to let off steam. Sending you a (((hug))) <3

I’ve had a very painful back for a couple of days. I am sure it’s just muscular strain and will get better in a few days but it’s difficult to get comfortable and it’s keeping me awake. I don’t like this getting older lark but, as a friend said the other day, it’s better than the alternative ;-). I hope everyone else is OK - where’s Frank?

The heavens have just opened so as well as getting blown over OH will get soaked. Serves him right for being stupid and going out.

Better go and prepare the veg for dinner; roast loin of pork today.

AnnG I like the tree one on the blog and the moss.

Jane i would think it would be better if Chris and James did'nt go out tonight with the wind like this.

I have let the chickens out but they are not impressed at all. We have also had that cream labrador in the garden this morning. I wish I knew whose it was. It has no collar on. Its been and sniffed around the bantams and the big girls this morning then I saw it go pat the big arch towards the front and top of the garden.

Fed the wild birds and there was a great rush for the food it was like Paddington Station on the feeder even in this gale. I did take a couple of pics through the window but they are all blurred with the rain on the window and outside.

Morning All
It is a rough one here but not as bad as many other parts of the country . Thomas must be hunkered down somewhere.He has been out since 2am !.
James and Gareth are up at the Golf Range(mad or what) .
Early lunch today for us as Chris and James are going to the Derngate tonight to the Philharmonic Orchestra. I should be going really instead of James (its not his cup of tea) but I get tired by early evening and also it is a very early start in the morning as I have my appointment with the Consultant .So I am going to enjoy a few hours on my own later.I shall have a nice relaxing bath and then watch Dancing on Ice :-D

Gill, I do think you need some explanations as to why the Poice were involved and why they thought it best Sandra went to live with Michelle and her Boyfriend. It really doesn't sound as though it is going to be in her best interest especially if she is going ot be left on her own when they are working. Does Sandra even know the boyfriend??
It was bad of Michelle to tell Sandra that if she was to come home you would stop her seeing her.I might be wrong but you don't think that they are just thinking how much better off they would be if they could claim Carers Allowance? When you do speak to someone it might be best to have everything written down that you want to ask or say so that you dont forget anything.
Sending you lots of love and (HUGS) <3

Hope the Chickens are OK Mel.They wont be venturing out today.I see there are no Horses out in the field opposite us.They will be kept in their stables I expect.
Chris says he has heard on the local news of many trees down and blocking some roads.I think the best place ofr anyone today is just to stay home and be safe.
Yes Mel I do hope noone is daft enough to be down on the sea fronts(especially with children). But there is always a few people who seem to have no brains.

I do remember many years ago down at Westward Ho! by the seawall and dodging the waves coming over.

Time to check the meat now.Roast Turkey again today. It is so tender and can eat it easily :-D

Morning all,

The wind here is 61 miles an hour so oh tells me. It is going up to 76 MAH later. He said thats the highest he has seen it. It is also very grey and raining.

I don't blame your son not coming out today best to stay indoors where its safe. I think everyone who can should stay in when its like this. I hope we don't hear of anyone going down to watch the sea on a day like this its just madness. I suppose there will be some stupid person who does it though and ends up in danger or worse.

I hav'nt ventured out to the chickens yet and its going to be blowing straight in their house. The roof keeps creeking and oh has just reminded me he has a doctors appointment in the morning at 9.50am. If the rivers out we won't be ablle to get there.

Morning AnnG, morning all,

Really blowy here I woke about half past twelve last night and I could here it ,then about half five this morning it sounded much stronger ,the trees are really going for it and I can see some ones wheelie bin out on the road.

Son rang to say they are not turning out this morning and I don't blame them no point coming out in this weather.

Gill I hope your feeling a little calmer today <3 lots of good advice from everyone ,I too think it would be best to talk to SS tomorrow you need to put them in the picture of what's going on .
I hope OH can find a job that would be one less worry for you ,stay strong and look after yourself we're all here to chat to any time <3