General Chat

Well what a long day it has been . I finally got in to see the Consultant about 12.20.The reason everything was so behind was becauseone of the Consultants was off sick. One of my Chemo drugs is going to be reduced a little more to see if it will help lessen the Tinnitus and a few other side effects.As for the Magnesium that made me feel so ill ,if I do need it it will be given via a vein.
After we got home I had a quick bite and then James drove me over ot Rushden Lakes ot M&S to get some food. it actuallyl SNOWED !!!!! Huge flakes but wet ones so it didnt settle at all.

Vera I am sorry you are suffering with your back.Hopefully with a bit of rest it will soon be much better.
I havent read the posts yet today as I prepared dinner when I got back from M&S and then have just had a shower and hairwash as I wont have time in the morning.I have to be at the hospital for 9 and with road closures around here it will take for ever to get there.
Hannah started her new job today. She is popping in on the way home with some magazines for me that her friend gave her.I hope they are good trashy ones LOL .
I have packed my back ready for the morning. Slippers :-D(cant keep my shoes on all day)that would drive me potty.IPad ,crossword pad, phone,kindle and colouring.That should keep me out of mischief. I think Fitz is going to try and come in to see me for a little while.I did say not to worry if he can't. Ann his new hip is fine as far as I know although he still hobbles about ,but I think that is the arthritis in his back.My new hp is good especially now I have lost weight :-D.I am becoming a right slim jim .I would like to stay as I am now if possible.

Can't wait to hear how Gill has got on today.

Mandy I will wish you a very Happy Birthday for tomorrow now just in case I dont get on here tomorrow.Hope you have a lovely day <3

Hi everyone

Another tearful day, I just can't stop crying and the thought of OH working nights isn't something I'm looking forward to.

OH got a phone call and has an interview for a carers job tomorrow morning so we're hoping her gets the job as we have no income at the moment and are relying on our savings, which won't last long.

I rang the carers allowance people today so my allowance has now been stopped, if Sandra does return to us I'd have to make a new claim.

I've had second thoughts about ringing SS as I don't want to rock the boat at the moment and upset Michelle and Michael. I'm hoping they've kept to their promise and bought Sandra a mobile phone so she can ring me if she wants to. I got the impression off Michelle that Sandra wanted to ring me but Michelle told her that I might be asleep as I was on meds now. I take one tablet at night, so I don't sleep during the day. The one good thing about the meds I'm on is they're good to keep migraines away, which I'm really thankful off as I'd of probably had a migraine by now with all the stress I'm going through.

Michelle said she's going to the one stop shop (benefits help) this morning to try and sort out Sandra's benefits and then to the Citizens Advice about her adoption so they can order a new birth certificate for her. I think they need that to open a new bank account for her and so that Sandra can access the account she has now.

I finally rang the people about being anxious today and spoke with a lovely woman, I cried a lot when explaining everything to her, but she was brilliant and said there was no need to be embarrassed as I told her I was. The call was to register with them, she asked me what meds I'm on and then told me someone would call me in about a month's time. I think it's that long because it will take a few weeks for the anti depressants to kick in, so they'll want to assess me again then, before they can offer me further help.

So that's where I'm up to on the phone calls.

I had a look at last years council tax bill and you are all right I'm not in band G and don't have to pay anywhere near the amount mentioned on the government website, so at least I don't need to worry about my bill being around £2000 dearer now. It's still quite a lot though but unfortunately it's one of those bills that has to be paid whether we want to or not. I also found out we're in council tax band C. I'm expecting the next years bill next month, ready for the new financial year. There are rumors our area is going up quite a bit, but I'm not going to worry about it right now as I have enough on my plate to deal with.

OH has nipped to the shops as I hadn't thought about buying food and we'd ran out of a lot of things. He seems to be more practical like that which is good as I'd forgotten all about food and I don't think 2 spuds are going to go far.

I still haven't caught up with the posts, I'm ever so sorry, but I did notice that Jane had an appointment this morning, so I hope all went well for you Jane.

I hope the weather isn't to bad for everyone, it's been really bad here and we even had a few flurries of snow, which of course set me off crying again as I ran to Sandra's bedroom to tell her, then realised she wasn't there. It's so quiet here now and I hate it, but I suppose it's something I'll have to get used to.

I wish I could forward my life six months and see how it ends up.

OH's back from the shops now so I'll go and help him unpack the shopping. I'll do my best to catch up with the posts when I can.

Sometimes Annx they either think we are very gullible or we love them so much we'll do anything for them :-D :-D Not a day here for driving for pleasure.

Glad you had a good lunch without frightening the other customers away. I have only to hear a cough now and I wonder where the person has been recently. In fact it is difficult to avoid being paranoid about crowds. And seemingly no end in sight *sigh!

Does he think your name is delilah then :-) :-) Hope the migraine soon clears, see what happens when you cut his hair!

A nice young(ish) man has just been to assess the leak situation. It is, as we thought, the flashing which he says was probably not put in correctly (27+ years ago). So he is coming PM Wednesday to fix the leaks and to clean the algy off the top of the glass roof which he says will cost £80. I thought that was quite reasonable as it included the cost of replacement flashing and sealant. (And stops OH keep saying he is going to clean the roof!

I don't blame you for declining the pleasure AnnG! lol. I just got asked if I fancied driving OH to a briefing meeting in Lincoln this week and quickly declined too. Much as it would be nice in theory, the weather doesn't look good, I will be the one finding parking after dropping him off, wondering if I will make it to wherever the toilets are, too hilly for my knees, finding my way back to pick him up after and not having a clue how long he will be. Doesn't sound so much fun after all!

After freezing rain when we came out of the carvery, we had hail and now it is snowing!! We sat in the little alcove we usually go to for lunch, away from everyone else although there were only a few people in and he was fine. He's managed a few quips today so must be feeling better and I cut his hair when we got back as he was feeling a bit scruffy and now he says I've taken all his strength. He's just started with a migraine now and has gone to lie down but these visual ones are without the headache so hopefully it will go off in half an hour, although you still feel tired after.

Yes we have a utility, ensuite, conservatory and garage, although our bedrooms are very small and I imagine are smaller than Gill's. I don't know if it applies elsewhere or when it started from, but here if you extend your property, they don't change your property Band now until you sell up and then it is reassessed for the new people moving in! You can tell if a property you intend to buy might have an increase in the banding by looking at the Band listing for the property. I think they put a red asterisk next to the band if there have been alterations that may increase the banding, something like that. I don't know if it works the same if you decrease your house value or whether they consider a reduction straightaway. An example would be Gill's property having the garage taken down. I don't think Gill's place can be in Band G either.

Good thinking Vera about the ramifications with ownership and joint tenancy and tenants in common. You can be jointly liable together for the whole or liable for just your share, so professional advice is so important as you say. Sorry your back is still giving you gyp. It's so annoying when these things stop you getting on. I too have had a parcel recently arrive a few days sooner than the given date and luckily we were in when it came.

Better go and get OH a COT now.

WE've been clearing out the loung. At last I am getting stuff up the loft.

Its still windy here but the suns been out most of the day and I have a pile of stuff, mostly boxes and paper to burn but we keep getting short sharp showers too.

I hope Gill was able to get in touch with SS today to see if what Michelle did was right or not to see if they can make it so Sandra comes home to her parents. I bet SS dos'nt know that Micheal is without a job and Michelle only works a few days a week.

Vera, so annoying when they give estimated arrival and then it is earlier than you are told, especially when it involves a trip to pick stuff up from the Post Office. Even tracking is not always right as something I was tracking was due to arrive on the 9th-11th and that arrived on the 6th. Luckily it went through the letterbox .
Recently one letter I posted and one packet I received, both posted second class arrived in one day so don't know what is going on.

Sorry you are still suffering with your back, have you pulled a muscle? I know when I have back problems I rarely know what has caused it. could it have been potting on in the cold garage? Hope it improves soon.

OH has now decided to return to B&Q with the shelf to return it as he also needs to get a replacement post for one that was forming a trellis arch in the garden. It looks as though it is going to rain again while he is out. I declined the pleasure of going.

Morning everyone

Still windy here but not nearly as bad as yesterday. It’s lovely and sunny and a good day for drying the washing but my back is giving me gyp so I can’t be bothered to hang it out. It is supposed to rain soon anyway so I have the tumble dryer going, stuff hung on the airer and shirts on hangers draped round the bathroom and en suites.

Thursday evening I went online and ordered a couple of birthday presents and some cards from The Museum Collection. Friday I had an email saying they had been dispatched and would arrive in 3-5 working days. We were out Saturday morning, came in just after lunch to find a card saying Royal Mail had tried to deliver so now I have to go to the depot to collect it. I’m pleased it has got here quickly but don’t understand how something that is coming some distance and is supposed to take at least 3 days gets here in 1 when an urgent letter posted 1st class to a nearby town took 5 days :-S

Gill, I agree with the others. Your bungalow can’t possibly be Band G, unless it is a lot larger and more substantial than I thought. It’s difficult to work out where a house should come in the bands because the original banding was based on the value of the house in 1991. Then extensions, improvements etc get taken into account. To give you an idea our house was built in 2009 as a five bedroom place. Two bedrooms were knocked into one by a previous owner but I think it is still classed as having 5 bedrooms. The rooms are all quite large and we have lots of mod cons such as double glazing, underfloor heating etc. etc. Our house is in Band F so unless your bungalow is bigger than our place you can’t be in Band G.

Don’t rush to offer to buy Sandra out. I think you said at one time that you are mortgage free but there could still be all sorts of legal ramifications. For instance there may be different rules depending on whether you are joint tenants or tenants in common. You must get advice, proper professional advice. Some solicitors will give a half hour consultation free of charge to people on lower incomes. Citizens Advice can probably help you there. Whatever you decide, proceed with caution. Don’t rush into anything, take your time. Remember the old saying “Act in haste, repent at leisure”.

I hope Jane has seen her consultant by now and the news is good. Sending lots of good vibes her way <3

Oh gosh Jane my OH would be going spare. Always a reason for these places running late but two hours plus is inexcusable. As if it isn't stresful enough and as if your time doesn't matter. It probably means people booked in for short appointments instead of the longer ones they should have. I don't think I have ever had a hospital clinic appointment run on time and I was actually shocked last week when I was called in to the dentist five minutes early.

I think your bungalow may be larger than gill's Ann, not sure that Gill has an en suite and I have a feeling it is two beds although not sure. G just sound much too high.

Gill I hope you have managed to make all your phone calls and are a bit clearer about things in your head.

Well as I said it was lovely and spring like again and sunny when we went out with a lovely blue sky. We went to Tesco and had a coffee and then got a few bits including a couple of really inexpensive T shirts for the two boys to take down in March and a pack of socks for OH, reduced. Goodness knows how he is going to find room in his sock drawer, he has loads of socks but there were 'just what he needed'!
When we came out of Tesco it had been raining. We needed to go to B&Q (my favourite place.... not!), which is just across the road so we drove over there and by the time we got out of the car there it was black as anything and lashing down with very cold rain. That lasted until we got home but has cleared now and the sun is trying to come out. Very strange weather and the shelf that OH bought he had measured incorrectly (glad I didn't do it, so it a bit short. ('But that is ok I can fix it' he says.)

We have somebody coming this afternoon to see what can be done about the leaks, I got fed up with OH trying to find a way of doing it and gave him a phone number I found which he rang this morning without a murmur. This was mainly due to son asking yesterday why we were not paying to get it done, what were we saving our money for? :-D :-D

I’m still waiting to see the consultant!!! Clinic is now running 2 hours plus late :-S My appointment was at 9.50. Chris looks totally cheesed off.

We,ve had rain and hail and the wnds still high here.

I hope Jane has had good results from here consultation this morning. Hope we hear later on. Sending love and wishes. <3 <3 <3

Didn't see you AnnG as I was slow posting. We are in Band E for a 3 bed bungalow like Gill's and pay about £2,300, but it was new when we moved in which usually means a higher value and so also possibly council tax.. We have challenged ours as 2 neighbours have been reduced to Band D, so like you say, Gill is likely to be in no higher than Band D. I think if you are on a low income you can get a reduction, but you would have to ring the council to check what the rules are Gill.

Morning Mel and All,

Sunny and not windy here at the moment, but I think we are due rain later. I slept really well once I got off to sleep and OH is gradually coughing less so hardly disturbed me. You feel so much better for a good sleep! :-) He has even suggested going out to the carvery today so that's a good sign. I think he wants a change of scene after so many days of staying in and to see if he feels up to going to his meeting tonight. If not, he can let them know and someone else can take his place.

I had to smile this morning as my old exercise bike has developed a squeak of protest. How dare it! I really must replace it as none of the dials work any more, but nowhere seems to have them on display to try out now, not even the big Decathlon store next to IKEA.

.We did plan to go an see Little Women today after him not being well enough last Monday, but he isn't up to that, the cinema is always cold and his coughing would spoil it for anyone else there including me! I think we will pop to M&S just across from the carvery instead as he could do with some new PJs and underwear and I want to see if they have started getting any short sleeve tops in yet. I must tell him not to chuck his old PJs though as I can wash them and salvage some pieces to use for my craft things. They aren't worn, but he manages to rip them somehow and waits till they are big rips and hard to repair before he mentions it

I meant to say I saw a clump of the taller Daffs all in flower yesterday when I went to the Factory shop.

I hope Jane's appointment this morning was good and that Gill is making progress with her calls.

Lovely sunshine here so far but looks windy as well, still very wet under foot so OH has not gone to golf.

Gill your head is spinning, I think you have a few things to tie up.
I am pretty sure that you are not band G (not unless you have a huge bungalow.) I would check with your council but I would think the highest you would be is band D. This is what we are for a 4 bed house. But it does depend on the value of the house I think. Your borough or district council should be able to tell you.
When you say Sandra is part owner of the house, do you mean her name is with yours on the deeds? Or is it an unofficial arrangement?

And I would hold off from being too helpful to Michelle until you are sure of their intentions. I wouldn't rush to buy a birth cert, tell her you are still looking. It won't hurt her to wait, seems to me she is in too much of a hurry.

Morning all from a still windy Devon,

It started bright this morning with sunshine but it has just come over dull and is raining with hail in it.

I slept right through last night without getting up for the loo. It must be a first for a very long time.

Gill I hope you have some luck with SS this morning. Don't forget to write down all the things you want to ask about Sandra and if Michelle had the right to take her away from you. Also about the police backing Michelle up.

Yes, I can see where you are coming from in dealing with Sandra as you know her so well, in fact the best Gill, but it is so sad. I'm thinking it will be you she wants when she isn;t well. Sad to say, I'm afraid I was already wondering whether eyes were on Sandra's share of your house. I hope not, but this all seems like part of a longer plan,

Good luck with your phone calls tomorrow.

Thanks Mel. I wonder who is letting a dog like that roam about, unless he is good at escaping on his own. You don't really want him sniffing round the chickens in case he gets too interested. Have you asked Em if she knows who he belongs to?

Hello Vera........from one of the 'faceless ones!'. :-D What a strange dream, but then they often are! Yes it sounds like your OH was trying to get in your good books after ignoring your good advice. . Mine was reprimanded this morning after giving me a list of what he wanted bringing from the shop. He had added various newspapers that weigh a ton on Sundays with all the supplements, other things and we needed milk etc. All heavy to carry for my poor knees. I sweetly reminded him that when I am ill, no-one prepares nice meals for me or runs errands as they are usually not there a lot of the time and have gone off to a footie match or meeting. It must have struck a chord as he was dressed and had hoovered the bathroom floor after trimming his beard when I got back and was asking if he could do anything to help and saying what he will do when he is feeling better. He still has a nasty cough but it has been less today and he has rested most of the day and had an early night which will do him good.

Yes tablets do tend to do that, also cameras just when you spot a nice shot!

Night night and hope we sleep well now that gale seems to have blown over. I hope Gill manages to sleep ok. xx

Vera yes the card is off me and Sandra, she made the card for you so I hope you like it. I posted yours Mel's and Mandy's all together as I didn't want to forget to post them on time with everything that's going on here at the moment.

We now may have another problem as I think Michelle and Michael are going to persuade Sandra to sell her share of the property. Hopefully back to us rather than someone else. I don't think they realised that Sandra still had to pay a few bills connected to this place and are probably thinking if she pays those it's less money they can get their hands on.

I'm almost sure the reason they want her with them is so they can use her money to buy a property of their own. Michelle told me today they are saving a deposit to buy a place as they rent at the moment. Of course I can't prove this, but it does look to OH and I like it's their intention. Time will tell I suppose.

I know it looks as if I have given up, but that's not the case. Sandra is a people pleaser and will tell people what she thinks they want to hear, rather than what she really wants.

Because of all my experience with Sandra I could tell she wanted to stay there but didn't want to upset OH and I, so I made it easier for her to tell me what she really wanted by asking her in a way she could tell me the truth without her thinking it was a bad thing and would of upset her mum and dad.

It really hurt me to help her like that but I didn't want her to feel that what ever she decided she was going to hurt someone, so I made out it was okay and if ever she changed her mind she could come back. The last thing I wanted for her was to be piggy in the middle trying to please everyone, which was impossible to do anyway.

I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was relived and now hopefully she'll be happy rather than worrying about giving us an answer. I'm trying to do what's best for Sandra even though I feel like running to her and bringing her back, but that would be a selfish thing to do as it would be what I want and it's not about me.

What is that saying " IF YOU LOVE THEM LET THEM GO AND THEY'LL COME BACK" or something like that. The last thing I want is for Sandra to end up hating me because I took her away from her sister and brought her back to us. She would probably run away if I did that anyway. This way if she doesn't like being with her sister she knows our door is always open for her. All I want is for her to be happy, even if I don't know what I'm doing at the moment. I just hope I haven't made a mistake and end up losing her altogether as that would break my heart.

In answer to your question AnnG, Sandra does have a bank account but not a bank card, we helped her with her money by transferring it to our account and drawing it out for her. Obviously Michelle can't do that as she doesn't have access to either Sandra's or our bank accounts. Sandra can't draw money out over the counter as she doesn't have any ID which is why they need her birth certificate, (which has gone missing) for them to prove who she is.

No doubt they use the birth certificate to obtain a passport for Sandra, which will have her photo on it. That way she will be able to draw her own money out of her own account. At least that's the impression I'm getting off Michelle. The only other thing is I think Michelle wants to close Sandra's account down and open up another one for what ever reason, which I don't think is necessary.

As for Sandra's adoption, Sandra is from my previous marriage, so when I married OH we both had to adopt her as my surname had changed, even though I'm her biological mother.

I'm sure in time everything will work out for the best, but in the meantime I'm going to ask SS to keep an eye on her and to let me know how's she's getting on from time to time, I'll also ask them about how much contact I can have with Sandra.

With her being an adult I'm sure it's going to be different than if it was a child. I'm expecting them to say it's up to Sandra how much she wants to see me, she may well be okay with 3 times a year, so I won't have a say in it. But if it's found out that Michelle is stopping Sandra from having contact with us then that is a different matter. I just think having SS involved would be best for everyone as they would be a go to person for Sandra and us if it's needed.

I'm still trying to sort everything out and have just had a shock at how much our council tax is going to be for the following tax year, it's around £2000 more than I thought it was and we're in council tax band G when I thought we were in B. I'm sure I've got it wrong somewhere after looking online, so might give them a ring tomorrow as well to find out exactly how much it's going to be as Sandra is responsibly for a third of it.

I'm also looking into buying Sandra's share off her if it comes to it as I don't want her to sell it to someone else, especially Michelle's boyfriend, the last thing we want is to be co owners with him. Although we're not sure if he can actually afford it as we definitely can't at the moment and he's out of work so couldn't get a loan for the amount Sandra's share would be. I don't think Michelle could afford it either. So hopefully things will stay as they are for now until we can afford it, but of course that depends on whether Sandra wants to sell, after all it's up to her and has nothing to do with Michelle and Michael, that is between Sandra OH and I.

Anyway lots to sort out and more things to think about as each day goes by, but for now I'll ring the carers allowance people in the morning and SS. I'll worry about the rest of it if and when I have to. I will however be getting a valuation on this place so at least we know how much Sandra's share is as we only have a rough guess at the moment. I should imagine if the property has gone up in value then her share will have to.

I'm so sorry I haven't caught up with the posts yet, there are so many and I'm so busy trying to sort everything out, my mind is all over the place. I will try and read some of them when I get the chance. I hope everyone is okay

I wonder if it was because I said we had'nt heard from Mandy on the thread Vera? The woods and ponds are here in Devon so you sound like you were in the right place for me at least. Not sure about us all being there though! Its funny what you dream sometimes is'nt it?

Ann I have pm'd you.

Vera isn’t it strange when you dream about people on here and you know who they are but don’t see their faces? I have done too but not with this thread.
And don’t you find your IPad always wants charging just when you need it?

Your OH obviously had a guilty conscience after sloping off for a drink in the storm, just enjoy the attention.

Jane hope the results are good tomorrow. Shall be thinking of you and sending love. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3