General Chat

Strange question I know, but is he on any prescription drugs?

funny you should say that but he is on REBAPRAZOLE .......... he has an ulcer following his cancer .......... and they calm his heartburn down xxxxxxxxxx

T J i am sorry to hear about your troubles
mine or on the same lines, dont want to post on here tho" i am in a smiilar place do i go do i stay ? go where ??
Keep your chin up my love .
Chris xxx

It seems strange that you coped with al the sh*te, then it hit the fan!!
Did his demeanour change after being put on the drug? It can, occasionally cause a form of psychosis. (google the name of the drug and aggression).
My late BIL used to take painkillers for ankylosing spondylitis. After a while these turned him into an unhappy argumentative unreasonable ogre who never wanted to do anything but argue - it was basically depression caused by the drugs!! However, anti-depressants turned him back into the lovely active man he really was!!

It may be worthwhile mentioning potential side effects of the drugs to him and suggesting he visit the doctor. (then it's the drugs - not him!!)
Meanwhile - you visit the doctor first and tell him exactly how your hubby's behaving (hubby obvously can't) and see if he can sort out if it's depression or a reaction to the medication.
Neither of you can go on the way you are - no-one seems happy.

maggie

TJ so sorry you are going through this emotional blackmail again, I know how you are feel as my situation often makes me feel the same way. Don't let him browbeat you into doing anything you don't want to do.
Will try and catch up with you later. O.h. breathing down my neck at the mo so gotta get off here.
Lizxx

ave you got a leaflet on the tablets hes on you could read
some cause problems with depression, ave a read see what it says

i send you a hug tracey cos i understand what your going thru, i really do trust me
fortunately my situation is better now, i dont know exactly what changed it but it did last year when i was gettin worse with head pains,
my OH helps me now more than ever,
anyway
what i wanted to say was , stick to your guns girl, dont go talking to him, i know it hard but act like your stronger, and hold your head up,
dont budge on this , your keeping them dogs whatever,
he loves you from what you say, hes just lashing out, dont put up with it, if it were a kid youd ignore its bad behaviour, do same to him, let him sulk
hell come round
if he dont appologise fine , i never got one , (in their head its sign of weakness)
it dont matter,
waht matters is you and you and the dogs are the most important people in the house, :-)
keep smiling,

hugs to you and hope the sunshine cheers up the miserable old grump in the other room, he will come round sooner or later

I wonder if it would be worthwhile sitting down quietly and writing him a letter.

May be if you could calmly write how much you still care for him but how hurt you are feeling then that might help. I wouldn't list all the complaints you've ever had but concentrate just on how sad you have felt in the past week.

If you do still love him then you need to decide if that matters more to you than anything. He isn't likely to change much so you have to be able to put up with how he is.

I do think that looking back over what you've said that perhaps taking on two dogs was pushing your luck a little when you knew how he felt.
It may be that you will have to compromise. Perhaps keep the first dog and find a new home for the more difficult one. That would be very hard for you but I really think that a marriage is more important.

Sometimes we all want to stick to our guns but I actually think life is too short to spend it scoring points and trying to win arguments. Now is a time to try to rebuild the relationship not demolish it completely.

It sounds to me as if the pair of you have faced far worse than this and survived but that this is a bit like the final straw for you. He may be depressed but I think perhaps you may be too.

I love my cat and other pets I've had.......but they are not people. If you have been married to this man for 12 years then I think that matters far more.

I hope I haven't offended anyone but we do promise "For Better or for Worse." Dogs are lovely but not worth breaking up a marriage for.

Good luck and thinking of you

Sue
x

a lot of sense there Sue.


Ann
Glos

Hello TJ , Love.

Im going off now, { said that twice lol} But I will PM you later.

I have laid my life on these boards for a long while but there are things I have never mentioned. To love a man who is depressed is agony, torture but there will be a way, I believe I am slowly finding a way. But by God that path is hard, especially when there are many other life stresses, current and past.

I send you my love and promise i will be in touch,


Caz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TJ - I agree with Caz - that's excellent advice from Sue - think about it

Well we finally got to talk when he came home with the first pup and guess what ......... he doesnt remember why he spent the night in the spare room - lol - but he has finally admitted that he knows the only way to keep me is to accept BOTH pups - hallelujah !!!

We got the second pup cos i really wanted to breed them - well that was the intention - but the vet told us that because she is quite small for her breed then we would be at risk of loosing her in whelping - so we decided to have them both neutered .........

Sensible decision I thought ,,,,,,,,,,

Liz would be able to understand that most ........

The most important thing is that I get to keep my man and BOTH of the pups ...........

A happy ending after all.

Thank you all so much for your love and support

xxxxxxxx

Glad things look brighter TJ and I hope that from now on things will get happier and calmer.

Best wishes

Sue
x

Well done for talking things through TJ and hope life gets better now. I can see that you wanted the dog for you as the other one had become 'his' dog but maybe now you can walk them out together sometimes as well as him going off with 'his' dog and become closer again. Hope you still get the 'new' car too - you deserve it babe.
Keep us posted but don't spend too much time on here if he is around, try and spend time with him and the dogs as a united family.
Take care,
love
Lizx

So glad you are back on talking terms.

But also glad you diddnt heed some advice & walk out on him :o((

Its always best to calm down as things are often said in the heat of the moment (I divorced hubby again last night...well he was snoring ALL night ! )

so happy for you that things have been resolved - let's hope this is a new beginning for you both [and the pups]

Love Ann XX

Morning TJ - so pleased things have turned out well. Take care.

jude sarf wales :o) x

Thank you all so much - I really was upset yesterday and needed to spout and I know that the reason seemed petty - but to me it was a big deal.

Now I 've got probs with my bro and his girlfriend ............................. infact no I haven't .......... leave em to it ...............

MEN ............... lol xxxxxxxxx

Just catching up TJ and I am so pleased you have the ending you want......x